Sunday, July 31, 2005


Know your rights (and lefts)

Don't let the subway stuff in this link deter you from reading how to protect your rights -- or at least not carelessly piss 'em away -- here, at a Web site called Flex Your Rights.

Thanks to B for the links.



One word:


Best pork rinds I have ever, ever eaten. Picked some up at "the" store in Long, Okla., over the weekend.



Friday, July 29, 2005


A funny to tide Teditor over!

:-) This has been around a good long while, but I LOVE it.

OK. Now I'm really outta here!


When Osama bin Laden died, he was met at the pearly gates
by George Washington, who slapped him across the face and
yelled: "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"

Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and
shouted: "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed."

James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said:
"This is why I allowed our government to provide for the
common defense!"

Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Osama with a long cane
and snarled: "It was evil men like you who inspired me to
write the Declaration of Independence."

The beatings and thrashing continued as George Mason,
James Monroe and 64 other early Americans unleashed
their anger on the terrorist leader.

As Osama lay bleeding and in pain, an angel appeared.
Bin Laden wept and said: "This is not what you promised me."

The angel replied: "I told you there would be 70 Virginians waiting for
you in Heaven. What did you think I said?


Off to God's Country

Off to the old stompin' grounds, to see Mama ER, Brother ER and anyone else who is around. Jeannie Diane, ol' pal, is supposed to come by this evening.

We are threatening to get a coldbeer in her for old times sake.

I've been off from work all week. As I feared, it took until Wednesday for me to settle down. But, I got the new Harry Potter read by noon Monday. Goofed off Tuesday.

I was all redneck Wednesday -- workin' in the yard all day, topping it off with grilled pork chops for me and Dr. ER and Bird.

Yesterday, I was all erudite -- spent more than half the day in the university library doing basic research for a small article I have to have done and in by mid-August.

Today, why, it's almost 10 a.m. and I'm still sippin' coffee and sittin' here in my sleepin' drawers and a T-shirt. Lawsy -- yawn, scratch-scratch -- I do b'lieve I've been on vacation, finally.

Off to Mama's.

Later, y'all.


Thursday, July 28, 2005


A "war" no more

Some lunkheads just THINK ol' ER doedn't know what he's talkin' about.


From The Christian Science Monitor

What's in a name? Would the "war on terrorism" with a new brand be just as effective?

Try: "struggle against violent extremism."

Read all about it.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005


The American war of life

Been spreadin' my erudite redneck seed regardin' whether the state we are in is a "war" or not, over at Mark Maness's place. Thought I'd bring it all home.

These are thoughts drawn out of the context of the thread in which they first appeared. They also were written in haste, and with some emotions. To see it in context, go here.

Mark started out to reply to this, from me:

I think you take the backbiting and squabbling, which we have ALWAYS endured in our history, much too seriously The differences between some of us and others of us are genuine and cannot be glossed over.... The only few places this country is "desperate" is in these little computer things, and on cable TV. The rest of the land is going merrily on its way.

Mark then proceeded to argue, basically, that the "war on terrorism" should take precedence over pretty much every other issue that divides us -- suggesting that anyone who detracts from the war is arguably aiding and abetting the enemy by drawing attention away from what really matters.

To which I say, in a word, "Bullshit" -- especially since the American war of life --thank you -- is the main thing about which most of us disagree right now, the fighting itself, what it means, and will mean, over here, and how we are behaving, and prosecuting the war, "over there."

Anyhoo, here are some of my random thoughts on various and sundry of the points raised at Mark's place.

We agree that there is a threat.

We disagree that a reasonable response is that everyne should sit down and shut up and do what they're told (Jane Fonda excepted).

I think this nation is strong enough for us to bicker amongst ourselves, as usual, AND deal with the threat. ...

On another hand, the "war on terrorism" is a total misnomer, isn't it? It's just crime, on a grand scale, with a political bent. More like a global KKK than a "war." That's one reason nobody can agree on how to handle it! Keep calling it a "war" and the confusion will continue. We need a new word for what this is. ...

NEVER is the discussion of language, words and their meanings something about which we can get "hung up." ...

If this is war, tell me how we know we've won.

We won't ever know. No eventual victory. No clear defeat. No surrenders. No peace treaty.

It's "war," then, like no other we've ever fought -- and if so, then we need some more words, and rules and thresholds to understand it.

Otherwise, it just goes on and on and on for ever. Like crime. ...

Step 1. Define the finish line. How do we know we've won?

If "permanent war" is our position, then either anarchy or tyranny is inevitable, I think.

What is the end? If it's eradication, fine. Let's have some legislators with the guts to put some bills in the hopper to suspend certain constitutional guarantees, and get the hell after it.

Do it decently and in order -- 'cause that's we need to do to maintain the veneer of civilization. Let the civil libertarians scream and holler, as they should.

Congress passes a constitutional amendment or two. Then go to the states. Do it right.

Then, let's start knocking down mosques. Let's start making those we suspect -- those to whom the constitutional amendments were aimed at -- prove their loyalty. If they fail, out they go -- or to Gitmo they go.

I'm serious. What do you say? But we HAVE to do it following the constitution, especially when changing the constitution.

If it's war, and it's on our own soil, then let's do this thing right.

But quit monkeying around with my rights, and others'. Take them away, using the mechanisms in place. But don't pretend they're not there.

And if we CAN'T, through Congress and the state legislatures, muster the courage it would take to collectively set aside some of our freedoms for the safe of our own safety, then, well, this is a challenge that this experiment in democracy simply can't cope with.

Game over. Start over.


Tuesday, July 26, 2005


DOD: We can't handle the truth

Raze the prison. Burn the remains. Pour salt on the ground. Prosecute every person involved to the fullest extent of the most punitive law.

The bastards make is SO hard to wave the flag.

Thanks to B. for the heads-up.


From Editor & Publisher

So what is shown on the 87 photographs and four videos from Abu Ghraib prison that the Pentagon, in an eleventh hour move, blocked from release this weekend? One clue: Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld told Congress last year, after viewing a large cache of unreleased images: "I mean, I looked at them last night, and they're hard to believe.” They show acts "that can only be described as blatantly sadistic, cruel and inhumane," he added.

Read all about it.



Aim for the head

Confederate Yankee goes way out there at times, and he is something of a name-caller. Be that as it may, he makes total sense in a post regarding the devil's dilemma British police find themselves in.

Read up, boys and girls. Domestic forms of this foreign news to come.

So sayeth Confederate Yankee:

There seems to be a lot of second-guessing of Operation Kratos, the London Metropolitan Police of shooting suspected suicide bombers in an effort to save civilian lives.

Read all about it.



Dr. ER: Up and runnin'

She Who Is My Wife has been bloggin' up a storm lately.

She is a little more erudite, a little less redneck. But not much.

Check out Dr. ER's place.


Monday, July 25, 2005


Everybody look at Jane!

From the Telegraph, in London:

Jane Fonda is returning to anti-war activism and embarking on a cross-country tour to call for an end to US military operations in Iraq.

Read all about it.

If I WERE against the war, I'd be appalled. My God. She has no idea how much damage she is doing to the cause she espouses.

She doesn't know to stay sat down and shut up? Bull. I think she's got video sales of her latest flick in mind. That, or she is really totally deluded.

And I don't have any personal bile involved. I was 8 when "Hanoi Jane" made headlines. I just think she's so full of herself she doesn't see the fact she is speaking out will do more damage than good to her cause.



On "Republican anarchists"

" .. one of the dark deeds of the Republican anarchists is their denigration of public service and their characterization of public servants as parasites, busybodies, incompetents. To the cheater, there is no such thing as honesty, and to Republicans the idea of serving the public good is counterfeit on the face of it -- they never felt such an urge, therefore it must not exist."

--Garrison Keillor, Homegrown Democrat: A Few Plain Thoughts from the Heart of America (New York: Viking, 2004), 77-78.



Haggard and me ...

Lord, help. Somebody left me at home by my lonesome with a Merle Haggard CD box set.

This could get real bad.

Mr. Dickel is snickerin' at me over in his decanter, where he masquerades as a respectable liqueur. But he and I both know he's just two-bit Tennesse likker. Me and him will go round and round here directly.

First, I got to get this house clean.

Lordy how I do love The Hag.

"I Can't Hold Myself in Line," circa late '60s.

I'm going off of the deep end
And I'm slowly losing my mind
And I disagree with the way I'm living
But I can't hold myself in line

You give me no reason for my drinkin'
But I can't stand myself at times
And you're better off to just leave and forget me
'Cause I can't hold myself in line

Hey, my weakness is stronger than I am
Guess I've always been the losin' kind
Now I'm full speed ahead down the wrong road of life
And I can't hold myself in line

Yeah, and I'm going off of the deep end
Hey, I'm slowly losing my mind
And I disagree with the way I've been living
But I can't hold myself in line


Sunday, July 24, 2005


"Take Back the Memorial"

There's a place for debate. Ground Zero is not it.

As one of the linked writers observed, what they're talking about would be like erecting "a Museum of Tolerance above the USS Arizona."

Read it and weep:

Take Back the Memorial.



Harmony Sovereign

Spent part of yesterday reacquainting myself with my guitar, which Mama ER bought me in 1977 or 1978, when I was 13 or 14. It is black. I LOVED Johnny Cash.

Here is a link to a Harmony Sovereign page.

I love my guitar. It's the only acoustic I've ever owned. Never learned to read music. But I know enough chords and can pick some. I'm a word man, you know. Music is just something to enhance a story, to me.

Besides that, the best music, to me, is stripped down stuff that tears your heart out: Jimmie Rodgers, Hank Williams Sr., Buck Owens, Merle Haggard, Dwight Yoakum. Notice my favorites are heavy on the Bakersfield sound.

Other early musical influences of mine were The Beatles, Stones, America, Mark Lindsay(sp?) and Paul Revere and the Raiders, Steppenwolf, Jethro Tull and other 8 Tracks that Big Brother ER played when I was a little ER, and Roger Miller, Charlie Walker, Boots Randolph and, of course, Hank Williams, which are the records Mama ER had.

I went full-time country when disco left me cold, as someone once said. Came back in the mid-1980s, but never totally left country.

This is just a ramble. Sorry it's not a "story" or "essay." I am off work for the next week, and since I write for a living, I'm letting my inner "writer" relax some.

Anyway, yesterday I restrung my guitar. The strings had been on there since 1997, the year Dr. ER and I got married, which was the last time I played it much. Went from nearly every day as a 33-year-old bachelor to hardly ever. I tended then to string words together and call 'em songs only when I was sad and lonesome or otherwise distraught, which was pretty much all the time. I quit being sad and lonesome when I got married.

I've picked my guitar back up because after the ordeal of grad school, I find I have more mental energy, and time, than I know what to do with -- especially with Bird in college (she'll be heading back in a couple of weeks).

Took a couple of stabs at getting the new strings on! I'da been embarrassed, if I'da had any of my former two or three guitar-pickin' buds around to see.

Strung one string on the wrong post. Got another one strung and tuned, but through the wrong, ah, whatever you call it, the channel the strings rest in up just below the tuners.

Broke the little E string and had to run buy another, so I picked up a couple while I was at it. Got some new Fast Fret, too, and a whole backup set of Martin mediums.

Finally got it done, and was so ready to play around with it some -- I have the new Dwight Yoakum CD and couldn't wait to try to do a couple of the tunes on there -- that I didn't trim the strings from the tuners. Which greatly amused Dr. ER, who had never seen such, she being a classically trained cellist and all.

Anyway, got-r-done. Played some. It's been so long that today my fretting fingers ACHE. They're not blistered. They're, like, bruised inside. That's OK. It'll take time.

Meanwhile, I got some words coming. I think maybe I might can write about things and situations I've seen and otherwise know about now, not just stuff I've personally lived, which was always a limitation on my lyric-writin' ability before -- but not TOO Much, 'cause while some people like to pretend their life has its own soundtrack, mine has all been real. Sort of "Gator McClusky(sp) Finds Jesus Then Meets Cheech y Chong and They All Go to College." Or something.

I mean, you can't make up havin' once been, in turn, a gospel radio deejay, farm editor and Texas dancehall bouncer. You can't make up a NASCAR tire in the livin' room.

And you can't make up marryin' a Ph.D., and me earnin' a master's in history, either. But's it's pretty hard to get "pee aytch dee" to rhyme or make sense in a country song -- although somebody *did* work medula oblongotta(sp?) into a song several years ago.

Note: The story linked above, like most of stories about Dwight Yoakum, seems impressed with his "edginess." People forget how edgy Buck Owens was in the 1960s. For the story of how an Oklahoma City furniture dealer helped *make* ol' Buck, go here.


Friday, July 22, 2005


I AM a half-breed

Culturecat, commenter over at B's place, sent this link to me personal. Said he thought of me when he saw it. I'll swan, I am a mite flattered.

Of COURSE, I'm half redneck -- and half erudite.

Much obliged, 'Cat!


You Are 50% Redneck

You're just about as welcome up in town as a hair in a biscuit.

Ain't no hidin' your redneck roots!

How Redneck Are You?


Redneck dreamin'

Fade in.

I'm on a scooter -- not a motorcycle -- one of those scooters big enough to 1., carry a big ol' eighth-of-a-ton redneck and 2., get up to around 55 mph, headin' to the newspaper office on the freeway I never take, since I usually take the as-yet-largely-undeveloped county road just east of it.

It starts to slow down, and eventually fails and I coast to a stop on the shoulder. I get off and can't see any clear problem, so start pushing the thing. In a minute, there's a firetruck, ambulance and a couple of cop cars -- first responders.

They start standin' around and BS'ing, because there's really no reason for them to have been called. I get on the ground and see that the chain has come off -- like on a bicycle. Easy fix, if I only have a screwdriver to prise it back on with -- but I do not, and they do not. So, I start pushing the scooter again, and --

Swipe screen to:

Suddenly, I'm walking a horse, not pushin' a scooter. We're alongside a wooden corral -- the kind you still see on old farmsteads, not the fancy put-together pipe pens you can get at the Tractor Supply. It's a narrow run leadin' to a ramp and a loading chute.

I walk the horse and tie it to a post -- this is odd, 'cause I have not been on a horse for 10 years, and never was much of a horseman atall. I walk into the pens, and there are some calves around and a bunch of trash, vaccination bottles and nutsacks and such. The calves have been "worked."

I realize I have tennis shoes on, and the lot is muddy and shitful. Over in a corner, behind a bale of hay, is a pair of boots. They seem to be work boots, but when I get over to 'em, they're the kind of shiny, pointy-toed dancehall boots that are good for looks but not much for working. Anyway, I sit on the bale of hay and start to change when I feel a tickling sensation on the back of my neck.

I mean I am laughing out loud -- and I stir in the bed and realize I am actually laughing out loud in my sleep, but don't come out of it -- and turn and look and it's a cow that has stuck its head through a loose slat on the corral fence and is tryin' to eat my straw hat, but keeps missing and it's wet cow nose is pokin' me in the back of the neck.

In the dream, me and this cow -- nondescript breed, mottled color -- go way back. 'Cause I stand up and talk to it -- although I can't hear myself in the dream and so don't know what I said -- but I was being real friendly to the cow, which, in my dream, seems sad because one of its calves has just been worked.

The calf is nowhere around; if it was it would be right up by its mama. But it is gone, and since there is a loading chute in this scenario, I presume it has been loaded up and hauled off somewhere.

Cut to:

Suddenly, I'm somewhere else, with my old guitar in my hands, playing some basic G-C-D country song ... and I wake up.

Interpretations, y'all?


Thursday, July 21, 2005


Not Dodging this question

Yo. Here's a real important issue: Should I trade my truck for a new one?

I drive a 2002 four-door Dodge four-wheel-drive pickup, sort of like this one. Mine is silver, has better running boards, no bug shield and no tool box in back.

When I bought it, I declared that I would keep it until Bird graduated college, which was when it would be paid off, actually. That's in three years.

It has 61,000-plus miles. The transmission, like many of this vintage of Dodge truck, started feeling funny on the way back from Texas last weekend, which is why I'm thinking of trading it for a Chevy Avalanche. Dude. I LOVE the looks of that truck!

My Dodge is under warranty, so if the transmission IS fried, it's bought and paid for. But then what? Once they start gettin' buggy, it's one dang thing after another.

I just laid out $1,000-plus (on a blasted credit card) for new tires and shocks for the Dodge -- otherwise, I would probably have already test driven an Avalanche.

I've ridden in a couple of Avalanches, and they ride smoooooth, compared to the Dodge, which rides like a log wagon, even with new tires and shocks, which makes it very uncomfortable for Dr. ER, with her back problems.

What to do? I HAVE paid off a couple of vehicles in the past, so I no longer feel like I HAVE to do so again. I have accepted a monthly vehicle payment as a fact of life.

Comments and considerations welcome.


Wednesday, July 20, 2005


My country: Wrong and wrong

This is beyond outrageous, of course -- and it's why they will pry my cold dead fingers from my guns. I will at least take some jackbooted government thug with me.


From The Associated Press

RICHMOND, Va. - The lawyer for an American citizen accused of being involved in a “dirty bomb” plot told appeals court judges Tuesday that his client shouldn’t be held indefinitely without charges. But a government attorney said the president must have the authority to protect U.S. citizens.

Read all about it.

And I just got into with a lefty over at Bitch's place about the difference in the way citizens and the enemy should be treated in war time. This reminds me why it scares me to death to have so much power in the hands of one party in this country.

You know how to vote. Hold your nose if you have to. Don't forget: The ass you save might be your own.



JFK on God's frozen chosen

"We have all made mistakes. But Dante tells us that divine justice weighs the sins of the cold-blooded and the sins of the warm-hearted on different scales. Better the occasional faults of a party living in the spirit of charity than the consistent omissions of a party frozen in the ice of its own indifference."

--JFK, quoted in Garrison Keillor, Homegrown Democrat: A Few Plain Thoughts from the Heart of America (New York: Viking, 2004), 69-70.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005


On the eminent domain ruling

Looky here, y'all, for the SCOTUS ruling in Kelo vs. City of New London. (Yes, it took me a while to weigh in. But I just read the thing.)

This is a reasoned set of documents. The world is not ending. What this is is a case of stare decisis running away with itself.

It's a Big Check that now requires a Big Balance -- and it's under way, in statehouses all over the land.

I do not agree with Justice O'Connor that state action is not a proper reaction to this decision, from which she dissented. Whoa. Le't fix that sentence. I think that states acting to meet this unpopular but logical aberration from the historic concept of "public use" is an appropriate response.

Because while the case is a slap at liberty, specifically private property rights, it is not illogical. It depends on what your definition of "public use" is.

The court has ruled. Let the states now rise to their own sovereign duty -- but may they make haste, for the moneyed interests of the land are already acting on this new power.



Judicial activism vs. restraint

Both sides are wrong, according to the Institute for Justice.

Discuss. :-)


By Chip Mellor

Without realizing it, liberals and conservatives are working from opposite ends of the political spectrum, under opposing rationales, to reach the same end: expanded government power. As a result of the political push and pull between those advocating judicial activism and those favoring judicial restraint, two fundamental American rights—the right to earn an honest living and the right to own private property—have been stripped of vital constitutional protection, leaving entrepreneurs and small property owners especially vulnerable to backroom deals and majoritarian whims.

Read all about it.


White House flip-flop

This is so stupid it makes my head hurt.


From The AP
via CNN

CHICAGO, Illinois (AP) -- There's a flip-flop controversy at the White House, and this one has nothing to do with President Bush and John Kerry.

Read all about it.

Monday, July 18, 2005


LO, the poor CUSSED French

Would y'all please call the prayer chains OFF?!?


By United Press International (which I didn't know still existed)
via the Washington Times
via The Drudge Report

On top of a severe drought, France is fighting a plague of hundreds of thousands of locusts.

Read all about it.


Dubya a man of his word?

Bush changes his tune.

Damn straight I'm strainin' at this gnat. All we have is the words we say to one another and whether we remain willing to back them up when it gets hot. And somebody needs to get out of the kitchen.

I guess it depends on what your definition of "fire" is.

Ooh, ooh, I got another one: "I did not promise to end my employical relations with that man, Karl Rove."


By Pete Yost
The Associated Press

President Bush said Monday that if anyone in his administration committed a crime in connection with the public leak of the identity of an undercover CIA operative, that person will "no longer work in my administration." ...

Bush said in June 2004 that he would fire anyone in his administration shown to have leaked information that exposed the identity of Wilson's wife, Valerie Plame. On Monday, however, he added the qualifier that it would have be shown that a crime was committed.

Read all about it.

That's called bein' a real chickenshit in Bush Country.

Hey hey, ho ho, Karl Rogue has got to go!



Slow news day at FOTF

I want to see how they've rewritten the Word of God to eliminate the sexual content, nudity and language.


U.S. Senator Appears in Sleazy Movie

Sen. John McCain has a cameo in a film that garnered an
R-rating for sexual content, nudity and language, Creators
Syndicate reported.

McCain explained his appearance in "Wedding Crashers,"
which premiered over the weekend, as just for fun.

"It impressed my kids," he said.

The Arizona Republican once took Hollywood to task for
making R-rated movies and marketing them to teens.

He's considered by some to be a front-runner for the
Republican presidential nomination in 2008.

TAKE ACTION: If you'd like to let Sen. John McCain know
what you think about his appearing in "Wedding Crashers,"
you can send e-mail through the CitizenLink Action Center:

I myself just sent a line telling The Only Certifiable Hero in Public Life Today that I thought it was a harmless thing to do.


Sunday, July 17, 2005


Mrs. Burnham's peach cobbler

This is what I'll be up to afterwhile. Real easy. Real good.


By Berniece Burnham of Charlie, Texas

1-1/2 quarts of fresh peaches, peeled and sliced (about 5 cups of sliced
2 cups of sugar
1 stick of butter
Dash of cinnamon

2 cups of flour
1 teaspoon of salt
3/4 cup of Crisco
6 tablespoons of water

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Place peaches in a large pot. Add just enough water so you can see the
water coming through the peaches. Bring water to a boil, then reduce heat to
simmering. Cook the peaches until they're just barely tender. Remove from
heat then add the sugar, butter and cinnamon. Stir until butter is melted

Depending on how sweet the peaches are, you may need to add more sugar to taste

TO MAKE PASTRY: Cut 3/4 cup of Crisco into 2 cups of flour and 1
teaspoon salt until mixture is crumbly. Add 6 tablespoons of cold water and
form dough into a ball. On a flour-dusted board, roll out to 1/4-inch
thickness (or slightly thinner). For cobbler, cut into 1-inch strips.

Line ungreased 9x10 rectangle pan with 1-inch strips of pastry that
overlap each other slightly. Fill pastry-lined pan with peach filling. Top
filling with 1-inch strips of pastry, laid across the top as they were in
the bottom of the pan. (Placed these from left to right, one slightly overlapping another, like clapboards on a house).

Bake at 400 degrees just until pastry is brown on top. Serves 10.



Redneck Sunday Brunch

Home-sliced ham from Braum's, fried in a skillet.

Cheddar cheese slice.

Two slices of white bread.



Pork rinds as a crunchy side dish.

I might be a redneck.

But NOW, with my belly full, I can chance a trip to the store to get the makings for peach cobbler. I simply cannot go to the store hungry without bringin' back a buggy full of vittles.

Fixin' a couple of cobblers -- one to freeze for when Dr. ER gets back from her jag -- readin' Harry Potter ("The Order of the Phoenix," which I allowed grad school to sidetrack me from back in ought-3; Dr. ER has the new book with her), pickin' up the house some, and bloggin' extensively, later, about the Tattooing Trip to Texas Bird and I took yesterday -- that's all that's on my agenda today.

Screw the yard this weekend. It's July. I consider leavin' the grass alone an act of environmental benevolence.

More anon.


Friday, July 15, 2005


Bird and her bee

Bird and I are GTT tomorrow (Gone To Texas).

We're going to get antennae tattoed on her bumblebee tattoo, on an ankle. The tattoo "artiste" who stenciled the critter onto her limb did it freehand, and nobody noticed he didn't put antennae on the dang thing until the entire super-double-secret-and-totally-keep-ER-and-Dr.-ER-in-the-dark transaction was over, last fall.

Tattoos are legal in Texas, not so in Oklahoma. Me goin' with her and payin' for the augmentation is me makin' final peace with Bird and her bee.

I mean, the storm passed months and months ago. See here and here, too. This is just the first chance we've had this summer to get south of the Red River together.

We're goin' by way of the Stratford (Okla.) Peach Festival, where I will acquire enough peaches to make up for foisting store-bought peach pie on my kinfolks who passed through earlier this week.

A fine time will be had by all.



Neigh means neigh!

But fer a few pounds of oats and a bucket-size whiskey-sour or two, this man might be walkin' the earth today. He apparently didn't know woo from Shinola.


By Jennifer Sullivan
Seattle Times staff reporter

King County sheriff's detectives are investigating the owners of an Enumclaw-area farm after a Seattle man died from injuries sustained while having sex with a horse boarded on the property.

Read all about it if you dare.


More on the drunken mama

This is the original story from the Bartlesville Examiner-Enterprise. It's easy enough to get the woman's name, but I don't think it's important to the discussion at hand -- assuming it continues, and if not, cool.

As anyone should suspect with any wire story, there is much more than meets the eye here. Much more. I can tell some things from looking at the woman's picture -- and from being an Oklahoman.

My "gaydar" doesn't work for shit -- but I smell, and see, t-r-o-u-b-l-e from a country mile away. I never thought for a second that this was an isolated incident of drunkenness on the woman's part.

Anyway, here's the story, with the woman's name removed -- 'cause this is a real small state when it comes down to it, and I don't want any grief from friends or family members who see this story here. I could've used her name, but didn't.


Dewey woman accused of giving birth while drunk

By Tim Hudson
E-E County Reporter

A Dewey woman is being held on $30,000 bond after her arrest for allegedly giving birth while intoxicated.

(The woman), 37, faces charges of child neglect.

Reportedly, (she) gave birth to a baby girl on June 30 who was born with a blood alcohol content close to three times the legal limit set by the Department of Pubic Safety. [Unfortunate typo in original! --ER]

Reports indicate the baby was not breathing upon birth and had to be administered "Narcan" to counteract any narcotics that may have been present in the baby. After an emergency procedure by hospital staff, the child started breathing, reports indicate.

(The woman) reportedly has six other children.

According to a July 11 probable cause affidavit filed in the case, Washington County Sheriff's Office deputies were alerted on June 30 at 11:35 p.m. that a woman who was possibly intoxicated had given birth at Jane Phillips Medical Center.

Upon arrival, deputies were informed that (the woman) had arrived via ambulance after a reported fall from a porch, according to the affidavit. Her baby was later delivered at approximately 10:05 p.m. The infant reportedly weighed 6 pounds and 2 ounces.

Attending physicians reportedly told deputies that (the woman) told them she had been drinking and that she and another individual consumed a case of beer. The affidavit states that (the woman) also told hospital staff that she did not know that she was pregnant.

According to the affidavit, deputies reported that upon entering (the woman's) hospital room, "a strong odor of an intoxicating beverage was immediately present upon entering the room." They further reported that when speaking to (the woman), "her speech was slurred or thick, (and) her eyes appeared slightly red."

(The woman) reportedly told police that she considers herself to be an alcoholic and that she did not consider herself to be drunk at that time. According to the affidavit, she said she was drinking because she was stressed and had been having problems with her in-laws. When asked if she had been intoxicated at anytime during her pregnancy, she reportedly said "maybe a few times." She later said she was intoxicated twice a week during her pregnancy, the affidavit states.

A doctor's report on the baby as of July 5 reportedly indicated that the child's features were consistent with fetal alcohol syndrome and that the child is suffering from withdrawals indicating that it is addicted to alcohol.

According to the affidavit, the child has been moved from one foster home to another due to "the incessant crying" that has accompanied the infant. Eventually, the baby was moved to a caretaker that has experience dealing with addicted infants.

Reportedly, the range or extent of physical and mental damage from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome may only be determined as the child matures, but it is permanent, according to the Center for Disease Control. The CDC lists Fetal Alcohol Syndrome as the leading preventable cause of mental retardation and physical deformity, according to the affidavit.

(The woman) has previous convictions in Washington County for domestic abuse, violation of a protective order, resisting arrest and pubic intoxication.


Thursday, July 14, 2005


Jessica Hahn tonight!

This ought to be good! As a tender-aged youth, I sent the PTL Club some money once, $20, I think! Over the next few years, they spent at least that much on (bulk-rate) postage sending me letters wanting more money!

I don't call her Tammy Baye Faker for nothing! ... Gratuitous exclamation points are contagious! ... ! ... !


Larry King Live at 9:00 p.m. ET
on Thursday, July 14, 2005

CNN Tonight: Jessica Hahn

Jessica Hahn tells all on the sex scandal
that brought down Jim Bakker's televangelism empire!
Jessica Hahn, an outspoken, outrageous hour!

Tonight only on Larry King Live!


A bad country song

I b'lieve this beats all I've ever heard of.

By The Associated Press

DEWEY -- A Dewey woman is jailed on a child neglect charge after authorities say she gave birth while drunk.

Washington County sheriff's deputies say (the woman) was drunk when she gave birth to a baby girl on June 30.

Court documents say (the woman) told deputies she didn't know she was pregnant and probably was drunk twice a week during the pregnancy.

The baby is now in foster care and (the woman) remains jailed on $30,000 bond.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005


Liberal season

Thanks to Kiki for bringing this post on "The Hunting of the Liberals" to our attention.

Free speech extends to your bumper. But I'm pretty sure I might, like our president, use the threat of violence as an excuse to take the battle directly to the enemy.

A little-known variation of the Redneck He Needed Killin' Law is the That Vehicle Needs Keyed Regulation, and the That Tire Needs Flattened Rule.

And I don't think I'm kidding. I'm not too "liberal" to commit a well-placed act of minor vandalism. This comes damn close to shoutin' "Fire!" in a theater. Mean-spirited bastards.



Answers for all wondering

I wrote to Blogger Support to let 'em I wadn't gettin' e-mail alerts when people left comments. Got this back awhallago:

Hi there,

AOL has been blocking automated emails from Blogger (such as BlogSend
emails and comment notification) and we've been working with them to get
this issue resolved. The emails should be coming through properly again
soon. Thanks for your patience.

Blogger Support



"Feed mayonnaise to tuna fish!"

An unfortunate typo when trying to go to Mapquest to find the distance from Oklahoma City to Stratford, Okla. -- site of the 28th annual Stratford Peach Festival (car show, good eating, rodeo and general wingding) this Saturday -- has given me an idea for a searchable database for the best strip clubs in the country:


Not that I've ever availed myself of such an establishment. Not when I was an aging bachelor. Livin' alone. Committed to what our Native American friends called "the chase." But of a different kind. In Texas. Not me.

I have read about such, however.


A coveted Redneck Point to anyone who can identify the movie and the circumstances of the quote in the headline!

Tuesday, July 12, 2005


Meat me in the back yard

So, I am fixin' to grill chicken hooters and a big ol' sirloin steak, plus some veggies. Kinfolks I ain't seen in awhile are comin' and that's what you do this time of year: Serve 'em seared flesh of some manner of livestock.

There's a store-bought peach pie on the kitchen counter, some Blue Bell vanilla bean ice cream in the freezer and chunk of watermelon in the icebox, too.

But I'm bored with steak and chicken -- and if that ain't testimony to how good most of us have it in this country! I mean, I don't even work for a living. I write about people who work for a living. And get paid for it decently. I eat well.

The good Lord does need to come up with some alternative forms of vittle on the hoof, though.

Eh. A couple of Tsing Taos and I'll be ready for some more of the same old.

The male of the kinfolk took to drinkin' that Chinee beer while stationed in South Korea, I b'lieve. If you hear an explosion over the Heartland, it'll be because of the chemical reaction betwixt Tennessee whisky, Chinee beer and Walgreens maduros.

Cheers, y'all.


Monday, July 11, 2005


Rich Bachelor's book meme

Rich Bachelor's participation in the book meme goin' around sparked him to ask some questions of his own.

"What was the last book someone bought for you?"

For Father’s Day, Dr. ER and Bird got me a short stack: “Is Your Straight Man Gay Enough? The Ultimate Renovation Guide,” by Nan Shipley and Jason Anthony. “Me Talk Pretty One Day,” by David Sedaris. “The Complete Book of Confederate Trivia: Over 4,000 Questions and Answers,” by J. Stephen Lang. “Novel History: Historians and Novelists Confront America’s Past (and Each Other),” by Mark C. Carnes, ed.

"What is your favorite biography/autobiography?"

Eh. From what I can see from where I sit, “Man of the House” by Tip O’Neill and “Pepper” by Claude Denson Pepper and “Counsel to the President” by Clark Clifford. From memory: “Man in Black,” by Johnny Cash, and “Coal Miner’s Daughter,” by Loretta Lynn.

"What is the greatest political tome you've ever read, fiction or nonfiction?"

“Uncle Tom’s Cabin: Or, Life Among the Lowly,” by Harriet Beecher Stowe. Still incredible, still relevant, still bright. Read this and you will learn way much about the origins of how blacks and whites get along, and don’t.

"What book have you had the longest, that you still read?"

“A Christmas Carol,” by Charles Dickens, and “The Complete Works of Shakespeare,” by William Shakespeare.

"What's the greatest spiritual book you've read?"

“The Great Divorce,” by C.S. Lewis.

"What book do you turn to when you're feeling down?"

Any of a bunch of “Zits” books or “Foxtrot” books we have in the bathrooms.

"If you could force everyone to sit down and read one book, what would it be?"

Any well-written book of history -- narrative, but scholarly -- to show that history is only boring when taught by boring teachers.

"What reference volume do you turn to the most?"

Aside from Google, “The Chicago Manual of Style: The Essential Guide for Writers, Editors, and Publishers,”14th ed.; “A Manual for Writers of Term Papers, Theses, and Dissertations (Chicago Guides to Writing, Editing, and Publishing); and “The Associated Press Stylebook and Briefing on Media Law.”

"How often do you and your pals sit around and talk about books?"

Often. I almost ALWAYS have a book in my hand or close by, a habit picked up in grad school -– and because my “to-read” stack is literally nine grocery sacks full of books right here in my home-office floor. And yet I keep buyin' the damn things.

"Name your favorite comic book/graphic novel."

“Iron Man.”





Does anyone know what I can do to get Blogger to start sending me e-mails again when people leave comments? I get one once in awhile, just randomly. Is this is Bloggerwide problem? I wrote to Blogger about it. No improvement.

OK. So, I'm home, there's coffee on. The plumber has showed up and later will extract my signature pledging to come up with $1,000 within 90 days -- on top of the $240 we already gave 'em.

The dogs are boxed up in the sun room for the duration, since the plumbing work is in my yard and the back neighbor's.

The TV is fixing to be on the Western Channel for appropriate inspirational background tunage.


But it's HARD when it's not for a grade, or for pay, but just for a line on a vita. I mean, I been writin' for hire for nigh on 20 years. Bylines ain't worth what they used to be.

"But remember, ER, writin' history is different from writin' journalism. Them vita lines are important, if you ever want to Pile it Higher and Deeper."

"Yes, I know, self, but unnggggghhh -- want. to. goof. off."


Sunday, July 10, 2005


WHICH creation story?

Great editorial in today's New York Times:

Christian creationists won too much of a victory for their own good in Tulsa, where the local zoo was ordered to balance its evolution science exhibit with a display extolling the Genesis account of God's creating the universe from nothing in six days. A determined creationist somehow talked three of the four zoo directors, including Mayor Bill LaFortune, into the addition by arguing that a statue of the elephant-headed god Ganesh at the elephant house amounted to an anti-Christian bias toward Hinduism.

Read all about it.



Book meme!

Pecheur tagged me!

How many books have I owned?

I’m guessing 1,200 or more. I can count on both hands the books I’ve acquired and later gotten rid of. One was my intermediate college algebra book. I had to attempt the class three times before I pulled a C. It died in a fire on a sandy spot in the Arkansas River bottoms. I’m pretty sure beer and urine were involved.

What was the last book you bought?

”Homegrown Democrat,” by Garrison Keillor, of NPR’s “Prairie Home Companion.” Friday night. Like a breath of fresh air.

What was the last book you read?

I finished three books Thursday.

A. “Break Blow Burn: Camille Paglia Reads Forty-Three of the World’s Best Poems,” by Camille Paglia.
B. “The Comanches, Lords of the South Plains,” by Ernest Wallace and E. Adamson Hoebel.
C. “The Myth of Santa Fe: Creating a Modern Regional Tradition,” by Chris Wilson.

What are FIVE (or more) books that have meant a lot to you.

In random order:
A. The Holy Bible.
B. “The Pilgrim’s Regress,” by C.S. Lewis.
C. “The Great Divorce,” by C.S. Lewis.
D. “Mere Christianity,” by C.S. Lewis.
E. “Eternity in Their Hearts,” by Don Richardson.
F. “The Ideological Origins of the American Revolution,” by Bernard Bailyn.
G. “American Economic History,” by Jonathan Hughes.
H. “Economics in Perspective: A Critical History,” by John Kenneth Galbraith.
I. “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance,” by Robert M. Persig.
J. “The Tao of Pooh,” by Benjamin Hoff.
K. “The Butter Battle Book,” by Dr. Seuss.
L. “In His Steps,” by Charles M. Sheldon.
M. “The Late Great Planet Earth,” by Hal Lindsay.
N. “Alas, Babylon,” by Pat Frank.
And others.

Tag some people who haven't played yet (and if ya have, and it's been awhile, go ahead and humor me!):

Dr. ER
Rich bachelor
Bitch, Ph.D.



Germany, 1930?

You know how to vote. As they say, the ass you save may be yer own.

By John Graham
My name is on a list of real and suspected enemies of the state and I can't find out what I'm accused of or why, let alone defend myself.

Read all about it.

Thanks to Kiki for the above link and others.



By unanimous consent?

The American people have a vital interest in an independent and impartial Supreme Court.

Unite Our States petition.

Calls for the president to nominate someone for the Supreme Court who can get unanimous approval in the Senate.


Saturday, July 09, 2005


Life and limbs

So, the last time I was workin' in the yard, doin' more than just mowing, I was trimming tree limbs, about as big around as my finger, from some maple trees out back.

Y'all all recall what happened.

Today, I'll be cutting tree limbs, about as big around as my wrist, from a tree out front that has gotten so full the bermudagrass, starvin' for sun, is dying out.

As big around as my wrist.

I should probably just start the truck, set Dr. ER up in there with some of her tunes and a nice "Betty" (a form of Harlequin romance), get it all cooled off and point it toward the hospital. Save time, and blood, that way.


Friday, July 08, 2005


Happy in Jesus redux

This post is solely for anyone who cares to leave further comment in response to the earlier post, "Happy in Jesus or gay in church."

My home computer -- and I am fixing to be at home -- will not let me open the comments section on the original post.

This is neither encouragement nor discouragement to continue to discussion under "Happy in Jesus or gay in church." Just me tryin' to work around an apparent Blogger glitch. :-)



Another freedom lost

This just in:

From The Associated Press

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) — A couple pleaded guilty Thursday to hiring a stripper for their son's 16th birthday party and were sentenced to two years probation.

That's what they get fer hirin' outside the fambly.


Read all about it.



Two (2) Jesus-love-you-Indian-taco bean-and-chili burritos (2 for $1), with mustard from a pack, one (1) bag of Fritos brand corn chips, one (1) Pepsi

Lunch today. Mighty good eatin'. (Burp).

Cafeteria's closed at work, and ER reverted to his truck-stoppish ways.


Thursday, July 07, 2005


London blog

Dude was there.

Read all about it.



Makin' hay in Sudan

Remarkable news that might've gotten lost in the London bombing:

From The Associated Press
via The Guardian

KHARTOUM, Sudan (AP) - Sudan's National Assembly passed a new constitution Wednesday that steps away from complete Islamic rule and paves the way for a Christian former rebel leader to be inaugurated as first vice president later this week.

Read all about it.


P.S. An extra redneck point to anyone who can tell me why the headline I put on this here post is amusing.


Happy in Jesus or gay in church?

First attempt at this post had a glitch. ...

From The Associated Press
via the Cincinnati Enquirer

CLEVELAND - The United Church of Christ's endorsement of same-sex marriage is causing a stir, with at least one church threatening to leave. However, religion experts say the liberal denomination won't lose many members or congregations.

Tolerance is one thing. Acceptance is another.

Acceptance is one thing. Approval is another.

Myself, I'm with the Atlanta pastor quoted in the story:

The Rev. J.R. McAliley, pastor of Center Congregational Church in Atlanta, said his church will likely pull away from the United Church of Christ and align with another group.

McAliley said his congregation is open to gay members, but does not accept same-sex marriage because they believe gay behavior is a sin.

"We need to be much more clear about the scriptural perspective of the openness of church to all sinners," McAliley said. "It doesn't say that we are to condone or accept any sin. We are to help people find a way back to the way of Christ."

Funny: I overheard a couple of bidnessmen talkin' about this at an OKC barbecue joint the other day. They could NOT believe the "Church of Christ" had done such a thing! Uh, this is not the usually bunheaded non-music-playing Church of Christ that many of my loyal readers are familiar with. This here is the United Church of Christ, proudly the nation's most liberal denomination. NOTE: The action taken this week, like the votes taken by own Southern Baptist Convention, from which I am estranged, are not binding on individual autonomous congregations.

The whole story:

The Associated Press

CLEVELAND - The United Church of Christ's endorsement of same-sex marriage is causing a stir, with at least one church threatening to leave. However, religion experts say the liberal denomination won't lose many members or congregations.

The Cleveland-based church's rule-making body has made it the largest Christian denomination to endorse gay marriage.

The Rev. J.R. McAliley, pastor of Center Congregational Church in Atlanta, said his church will likely pull away from the United Church of Christ and align with another group.

McAliley said his congregation is open to gay members, but does not accept same-sex marriage because they believe gay behavior is a sin.

"We need to be much more clear about the scriptural perspective of the openness of church to all sinners," McAliley said. "It doesn't say that we are to condone or accept any sin. We are to help people find a way back to the way of Christ."

But Pastor Pam DeFusco of High Point United Church of Christ in Union, Ky., cried with joy when she heard the news of the synod's vote.

"We have always supported holy unions, because we believe and support monogamous, loving and caring relationships," DeFusco said of her church, specifically founded in 1993 to be open and affirming for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals. "The important place to start is that God loves each and every one of us. He created each and every one of us, and he wants us to be happy."

The church has performed two holy union ceremonies for same-sex couples, with DeFusco presiding at one. She has also performed 60 blessing ceremonies for same-sex couples.

But she recognizes that not all United Church of Christ congregations will be pleased with the synod's vote.

"We understand this will be a difficult time for the church and for people who struggle with this issue," she said. "But that's why our congregations are autonomous. The head of our church is Jesus Christ and then there are the people. There is so much more to our Church than just this. There's loving and caring for all people."

The resolution by the church's rule-making body calls on member churches to consider wedding policies "that do not discriminate against couples based on gender."

Roughly 80 percent of the representatives on the church's 884-member General Synod voted to approve the resolution Monday in Atlanta, a day after a committee recommended it.

The endorsement is not binding on individual congregations, which have a total of 1.3 million members.

Nancy Ammerman, professor of sociology of religion at Boston University, expects few defections.

Although the resolution will create some conflict within congregations, she predicts that many of the UCC's autonomous churches will be neutral or friendly to the endorsement.

"It's not like it's a secret that the UCC is supportive of gay and lesbian people," said Ammerman, noting its television advertising campaign that featured a gay couple being excluded from a church. "It's a logical next step. It's not an unexpected development."

The 150 members of the West Hartford (Conn.) Flagg Road UCC Congregational Church will likely support gay marriage, said the Rev. Doreen M. McFarlane, the church's pastor.

She predicted any split over gay marriage would divide individual congregations rather than churches grouped in geographical regions.

While some people will leave over the issue, it won't be enough to thin the church's ranks, said John Evans, associate professor of sociology at University of California, San Diego.

He said the number that leave could be balanced by gays and lesbians who join because of the issue.

"They've become identified as the most liberal denomination and are proud of it," Evans said. "You're making a conscious choice when you join a United Church congregation to be a liberal Protestant."

The Rev. Bud Precise, pastor of Pilgrim Congregational Church in Birmingham, Ala., said his church sees accepting gay marriage as a way of opposing discrimination.

"I'm really excited about the stance of the United Church of Christ," Precise said. "I don't see how the church can do anything less. My congregation will be really pleased with that."

Karen Vance contributed to this report.


Tuesday, July 05, 2005


Which theologian are you?

Swiped from Just So You'll Know.


You scored as Anselm. Anselm is the outstanding theologian of the medieval period.He sees man's primary problem as having failed to render unto God what we owe him, so God becomes man in Christ and gives God what he is due. You should read 'Cur Deus Homo?'



Martin Luther


John Calvin


Friedrich Schleiermacher


Karl Barth


Jonathan Edwards


Charles Finney


Paul Tillich






Which theologian are you?
created with


ER hometown news IV

From the Sequoyah County Times:

"Booster Club Rib Sale Continues."

Please, would you people buy some ribs?!?

"Outlaw Motor Speedway Gears Up For July 4 Weekend."

Old news. But you got to love a track actually called that. It's in Muskogee, which is one county over.

"Highway 59 Dragway Set To Host Saturday Event."

Lots of racin' in Redneck Oklahoma. Lots of it honestly does stem from ridge-runnin' days. There is a Moonshine Road that runs west of State Highway 82 north of Vian that turns south down to State Highway 64 east of Gore. And it ain't called that 'cause it's quaint.

"Vian Woman's Death Is Still Under Investigation: Report Reveals Methamphetamine."

That's the saddest part of the moonshine legacy of my old stompin' grounds. People still think that meth is modern 'shine. Far from it. A sheriff's deputy told me once when we were talkin' about it:

"Grandpa made moonshine, and there was honor in the system. Junior grew marijuana, and there was honor in the system - there was still a code of the outlaw. There is no honor in the outlaw anymore. There is no code. Meth is total destruction to everything it touches.

"Used to, when Grandpa did his time, his friends would feed his cows and fix his fence or whatever -- because of the outlaw code. Now they go and steal everything you have -- and your children are not exempt. You had people who made moonshine and grew marijuana that had jobs and families. The code does not fit with meth. With meth, people use people and there is no way out.

"There is no Robin Hood mentality to the manufacture of methamphetamine. They don't take and give. It's easy to romanticize the outlaws when you have a take-and-give policy. With meth, it's 100-percent take, with no good. It's not helping anyone. It's destructive, to them, the community, the property -- everything's totally destroyed."


The fireworks poppin' at Mama ER's went off without a hitch and only 1 1/2 dang-near maimings. Brother ER hurt hisself more grillin' some monster burgers -- just got a good scald on his right arm, is all -- than we did poppin' the $96 worth of fireworks I bought in a weak moment on the Second of July.

One incident was when a 500-count pack of standard firecrackers took off a split-second after "light fuse" and a full second before "get away." Just spooked me and got my adrenaline going, is all.

The other one involved an old friend -- let's call him Redd McNeck -- who I swear I had not seen in at least 15 years, who saw a strange truck in Mama ER's yard and thought it might be me and it was, so he stopped by and hung out with us as I did the fireworks and we all drank coldbeer.

(Redd, however, was drinkin' some kind of energy drink and eschewed the coldbeer, which is worthy of note in the county paper. But then I haden't seen him in 15 years, so I don't know what all was behind that.)

Redd dang near caught a flying piece of fiery fireworks shrapnel in the left pit when one of them 25-shot "cake" things malfunctioned and went haywire and started sending stuff over toward us instead of up in to the sky.

Well, if ol' Redd hadda been a half-click slower about jumpin' or standin' about a half-foot to the right, he'da bought it right in the chest. Which woulda been just a little bitty bit funnier than the way it did transpire.

Hey, if there ain't at least a couple of close calls or at least one minor-to-moderate injury, there hadn't really been a backyard fireworks show, now has there?

And Mama ER herself, 83, shuffled on out to the back yard to enjoy the goings-on. I was so seriously pleased and proud, I coulda just spit. But I quite dippin' Cope two years ago tomorrow, so I had nothin' to spit, so I just tossed back a cold Coors Light. In front of Mama ER. Which I will never get used to. But I can pull it off in a pinch.

Mama and beer and old friends and the country and all reminds me of this: My oldest, bestest friend in the world -- let's call him K.L. "Ed" Neck -- introduced me to a band I'd never hyeard of but was destined to know of: Drive-by Truckers.

Dude. Here are the lyrics to the tune of theirs, called "Outfit," from the album called "Decoration Day," that I've been playin' over and over in the truck. It is an anthem. Read about Drive-by Truckers.


You want to grow up to paint houses like me,
a trailer in my yard till you're 23
You want to be old after 42 years,
keep dropping the hammer and grinding the gears

Well, I used to go out in a Mustang,
a 302 Mach One in green.
Me and your Mama made you in the back
and I sold it to buy her a ring.
And I learned not to say much of nothing
and I figured you already know
but in case you don’t or maybe forgot,
I’ll lay it out real nice and slow

Don’t call what your wearing an outfit.
Don’t ever say your car is broke.
Don’t worry about losing your accent,
a Southern Man tells better jokes.
Have fun but stay clear of the needle.
Call home on your sister’s birthday.
Don’t tell them you’re bigger than Jesus,
don’t give it away.

Six months in a St. Florian foundry,
they call it Industrial Park.
Then hospital maintenance and Tech School
just to memorize Frigidaire parts.
But I got to missing your Mama
and I got to missing you too.
So I went back to painting for my old man
and I guess that’s what I’ll always do

So don’t try to change who you are boy,
and don’t try to be who you ain’t.
And don’t let me catch you in Kendale
with a bucket of wealthy-man’s paint.

Don’t call what your wearing an outfit.
Don’t ever say your car is broke.
Don’t sing with a fake British accent.
Don’t act like your family’s a joke.
Have fun, but stay clear of the needle,
call home on your sister’s birthday.
Don’t tell them you’re bigger than Jesus,
Don’t give it away.

Don’t give it away.

Tune makes my eyes well up, and makes my neck redder, and makes me proud and thankful and a whole bunch of other stuff. Great Song. I will glad to translate any of the verses for any transient Yankees that need it.

Mr. Dickel requires me attention now.

Oh, one more thing:

If you've ever had to spend two frantic hours cleanin' the house to get ready for a plumber to come fix two backed-up bathrooms, then you might be a redneck -- and you might be so damn close to white trash livin' it's scary.

Not that our bathrooms backed up. Again. Not that I spent two frantic hours cleanin' house just now. Not at all. Damn it to hell.



Drollery or trollery?

I've seen the term "troll" used so often now I'm wondering if it's losing its already fuzzy meaning.

If you throw out the term every time a commenter disagrees with you, then I think you overuse it.

In fact, the first time I saw the term, someone else used it in describing someone who was disagreeing with the general direction a thread was going. And I thought, "So?" On the other hand, a jerk is a jerk, whether s/he is a "troll" or not. So, I'm not sure I get the distinction.

And if your regular readers are all so much of the same mind that any outlier causes a major disruption, then maybe your readership is unhealthily narrow. Maybe. Hell, around here, almost anyone of us could point at any other of us and holler "troll!" at one time or another.

What do y'all think?

Here's the beginning of a definition for "internet troll":

In the context of the Internet, a troll is a message that is inflammatory or hostile, which by effect or design causes a disruptions in discourse, or a person posting such messages. Trolling can be described as a breaching experiment, which, because of the use of an alternate persona, allows for normal social boundaries and rules of etiquette to be tested or otherwise broken, without serious consequences.

Read all about it.


Monday, July 04, 2005


"This Land is Your Land"

On the occasion of Independence Day 2005.

By Woody Guthrie
Okie Extraordinaire

This land is your land, this land is my land,
From California to the New York Island,
From the redwood forest to the gulfstream waters,
This land was made for you and me.

As I went walking that ribbon of highway
I saw above me that endless skyway,
I saw below me that golden valley,
This land was made for you and me.

This land is ...

I roamed and rambled, and I followed my footsteps,
To the sparkling sands of her diamond deserts,
All around me a voice was sounding,
This land was made for you and me.

This land is ...

When the sun come shining, then I was strolling,
And the wheat fields waving, and the dust clouds rolling,
A voice was chanting as the fog was lifting,
This land was made for you and me.

This land is ...

In the squares of the city by the shadow of the steeple
Near the relief office I saw my people
And some were stumbling and some were wondering if
This land was made for you and me.

This land is ...

As I went rumbling that dusty highway
I saw a sign that said private property
But on the other side it didn't say nothing
This land was made for you and me.

This land is ...

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway
Nobody living can make me turn back
This land was made for you and me.


Friday, July 01, 2005


"Indians not taxed and three-fifths of all other persons"

Hold on to yer penumbras and stare decises with both hands, y'all!

Focus on the Family Action Chairman James C. Dobson,
Ph.D., issued the following statement today in response to
the resignation of Sandra Day O'Connor:

"Today marks a watershed moment in American history: the
resignation of a swing-vote justice on the Supreme Court
and the opportunity to change the Court's direction. The
rulings by the Court this June, particularly the
schizophrenic decisions on the 10 Commandments cases, have
once again demonstrated the desperate need for justices
who will interpret the Constitution as it was written, not
as the latest fads of legal theorists dictate.

"President Bush must nominate someone whose judicial
philosophy is crystal clear. And no one has been clearer
about this than the President himself, who said during his
campaign that he would appoint justices in the mold of
Clarence Thomas or Antonin Scalia. We have full confidence
that he will carry out that pledge."

Yes! The Constitution as it was written! Like this, from Article 1, Section 2, Clause 3:

Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons.

THE BILL OF RIGHTS was, at one time, a "fad" of certain legal theorists.

Ah, well. The game is afoot.

God save these United States of America, from the extremists who have her in their grip.



Jumpin' Jupiter Missiles

My plan is to go to Mama ER's house Sunday, cook burgers and dogs with Brother ER, help him crank an ice cream machine, and then actually do some fireworks.

Brother ER has done called the mayor to let him know (The ER HomePlace was recently annexed by the town, the bastages.)

But it occurs to me: Place "on ground" and "get away" seem to be polar opposite goals nowadays. If I lose another finger tip, don't be surprised.

Laws, I DO need to get in some semblance of shape.


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