Thursday, June 30, 2005


Overheard in the ER household IX

Dr. ER: "That's two days in a row you've quoted me saying 'sonofabitch.' "

ER: "Maybe you need to quit cussin' so damn much."

Dr. ER, thinks but does not say: "Smart-ass. You bein' pot or kettle?"



Redneck fantasy come true!

Oh. My. Lord.

From The AP, via Sports Illustrated:

Thai fishermen caught a 293-kilogram (646-pound) catfish that may have been the world's largest freshwater fish, wildlife conservation groups said.

That sumbuck is dang-near as big as a slaughter-age steer. Serve it up!

And a pickup load of hushpuppies! A 55-gallon drum of tartar sauce! A full acre's worth of taters, fried! And appropriate amounts of quartered pickles, tomato relish and fresh sweet onion! Slaw! Sweet tea by the tanker truck load!

"Awwhhh!" as the late great Jerry Clower used to say (and it is a bloggin' SHAME that ol' Jerry's signature holler just cannot be replicated with text).

Read all about it.



Thoughtbox by Craftsman

Over the years, Dr. ER has developed the ability to not only listen for what I mean when I say what I say, but to listen for clusters of words that have something in common with the words I use, when talkin' randomly out loud anyway.

I say I keep words, concepts, ideas and such in drawers in my mind. Those with some similarity are kept in the same drawer -- not unlike the small drawers of nuts, bolts, screws and such at my work bench in the garage.

This simile fits because as a professional wordsmith, I've always thought of words as tools, and I am constantly sorting through them, trying one, discarding it, trying another, and so on, just like when you pick up a wrench to see if it fits whatever bolt you need to loosen, and keep trying different ones until you find the one that fits.

Anyhoo, that's how she got "Yoda" out of "Guido" the other day. (See previous post).

Just now, I presented her with the Lifetime Achievement Award for hearing what I mean when I can't say what I'm thinking:

ER: "What's that science dog's name?"

Dr. ER: "Mr. Peabody?"

ER: "That's it!"

Dr. ER: "I am one smart sonofabitch."

Yes you are, love. :-)


Tuesday, June 28, 2005


Overheard in the ER pickup

Dr. ER, between Taos and Espanola, N.M., after a storm: "Guess I'd better see if there's a rainbow. Sonofabitch. Shit."

The day before, after having left Taos, and having taken a roll of pix of a lovely old church in Questa, and some other pix of the canyon that carries the Rio Grande, Dr. ER got so excited to see a beautiful rainbow that she accidentally opened the back of the camera, exposing the roll. Heart ached, partly because she had shot the church for her mama, who has a 35-year-old pic of herself standing outside the same church with the priest, whom she knew, while the pre-Dr. ER family were on a trip to the Red River, N.M., area. Dr. ER donned her dark sunglasses, while I gripped the steering wheel. Sad moment. Sad stretch of road on in to Santa Fe.

Dr. ER, as we pulled out of a Shell in Espanola: "Look at all them teepee sticks."

ER: "Do what? Do you mean lodge poles?"

Dr. ER: "They're teepee sticks, and it's spelled t-e-e-p-e-e, not t-i-p-i."


Dr. ER, at a "store" at San Juan, N.M., one exit off Intrerstate 40 before State Highway 3 that goes south through Ribera, which is where the post office is that gets mail to the (Don) Imus Ranch for Kids with Cancer: "Naw, I got plans for one of them."

Hispanic woman behind counter: "This is proof that God is a man; otherwise, we wouldn't suffer as much."

Dr. ER and two Hispanic women: (Laugh heartily).

Dr. ER had entered the "store" as I pumped gas to purchase feminine hygiene products, finding not a box but only loose individual, uh, products. She bought two. And I am blushing as I type this.

Dr. ER, as we pulled into west Amarillo, Texas, after driving in from Santa Fe: "I wish there was something to do worth a shit in Amarillo."

ER, seeing a billboard: "Well, there's a Hooters. Wait what're you talking about?"

Dr. ER: "Something to do for a living."

ER: "Oh."


Dr. ER, as we snaked down a picturesque canyon road south of Ribera, N.M., : "A good road, this is."

ER: "You sound like ... Guido."

Dr. ER: "Do what?"

ER: "Guido."

Moments pass.

Dr. ER: "Ah, you mean Yoda."

ER: "Whatever. Guido. Yoda. Same (mental) drawer."


ER, as we drive up to the base of the tall McDonalds sign at the side of Interstate 40 in Tucumcari, N.M.: "Where the f--- is the McDonalds?"

Dr. ER: "This is for people to see from the highway."

Dr. ER, recognizing that I am already in "a full tizzy," as she puts it, just lets me drive around until I find the damn restaurant a block or so away."

ER, several times over a couple of days of us both eating Mex-Mex food -- not "Tex-Mex" -- around Santa Fe: "Uh, crack the window."

Back in Amarillo tonight. Oklahoma by mornin' ...


Friday, June 24, 2005


Overheard in the ER household VIII

(I'm cheating. I "overheard" myself.)

ER: (Bam-bam-bam). "Giddy up. We need to talk before I go to work."

Bird: "Unnggghrr ... (grumble, grumble) ..."

Half-minute later ...

Bird: "Urmph?"

ER: "Your mom (Dr. ER) is pretty pissed about the bag of cat shit in your bathroom."

Bird, fully awake now: "Huh? You mean the litter box?"

Editor's Note: The "litter box" she refers to is an aluminum bread loaf pan. The "cat" "lives" in her bathroom, since he was found "injured" and "caterwauling" in the front yard a "couple" of weeks ago. "Ice-T," his name is, and he "sleeps" on a potholder on the floor of Bird's water closet-toilet room or whatever the heck it's called.

ER: "No, she said there was a paper bag full of cat shit and litter in there."

Bird: "(Gasp). Oh, I forgot."

ER: Whatever. I'm not pissed. Just take it out.

Bird: "OK."

ER: "Your mom was pretty hot about it. But, considering the shape the rest of the house is in, I don't think a bag of cat shit in a bathroom where a cat lives on a potholder on the floor next to the toilet rises to the level of an offense."

Bird, whose sense of irony, political nuance and sophisticated erudite redneck humor is not yet fully developed, smirked slightly and went back to bed. And I was in such a rush I don't know whether she took the bag of cat shit out or not.

Our house is a wreck because our lives are so busy. Dr. ER and I are fixing to head to Santa Fe, where, if there really is a God, we will find time to relax, even though this is a work trip for her. Wish us well.


Thursday, June 23, 2005


ER hometown news III

By The Erudite Redneck

Not that much of note in the home county county paper this week. Oh there was plenty of news:

"Loan Scam Targets Area Residents."

"Sewer Rate Increase Is Approved; Fees Adjusted."

"Five Injured When SUV Attempts U-turn On I-40."

"Rib Sale Slated For Fire Training."

But the most interesting items were in the "This Week in County History" column and the "Too Late to Classify" section.

History -- "75 Years Ago: Sequoyah County people may see moving pictures of the largest bean fields in this part of the state during the near future. The state agricultural department, of which Harry B. Cordell is chairman had been making moving pictures in this community, working with the state marketing commission."

I'm pretty sure that in 1930 I'da loaded up the fam and drove to town to see a picture show of soybeans. Seriously.

Too late -- "MISSING: BLACK AND WHITE SPOTTED CROSSBRED COW, probably still has auction tags, could be anywhere. 918-xxx-xxxx."

A man that can't keep track of his dadgum just-bought black and white spotted crossbred cow probably couldn't be expected to keep a wife either.



70 percent ain't a minority

Swiped from Poison Pero, who generally is about as far to the right of me as Bitch, Ph.D. is to the left of me.

Originated at World Net Daily, which I know nothing about, trustworthywise or political leaningwise. (But this is only slightly about politics.)

For discussion purposes:

A new poll reveals seven of 10 Americans believe the terror detainees at the Guantanamo Bay prison camp are being treated "better than they deserve" or "about right."

Read all about it.

Now, that majority doesn't make it right. Just something to think about. Somewhere between "kid glove" treatment and lining them all up and shooting them -- there's an answer. But damned if I know what it is.

B and I took over the previous thread. I want to know that others think. Y'all come.


Wednesday, June 22, 2005


On Durbin's apology

I think I agree pretty much with this, from the Dallas Morning News, which reserves all rights thereto. He should step down because by being stupid and careless with words, he has become totally ineffective as an alternative voice to the administration.


So, So Sorry: Regrets, we have a few about Sen. Durbin
12:02 AM CDT on Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Dick Durbin is sorry.

He says he's sorry that his ill-advised words comparing U.S. military interrogators to the most tyrannical regimes of the 20th century have been twisted to make it sound as if he doesn't support our troops, which he really, really does.

He says he's sorry the right-wing media left out his exquisitely parsed context, leaving him looking like some kind of Howard Dean knockoff.

He should be sorry that Al Jazeera turned his comments into a news story that had him "comparing the actions of U.S. soldiers at Guantánamo Bay to those of Nazis, Soviet gulags and a 'mad regime' like Pol Pot's Khmer Rouge in Cambodia."

Hey, we're sorry, too.

We're sorry that anything else Mr. Durbin might say about allegations of torture at Guantánamo Bay simply cannot be believed, thanks to his way-over-the-top screed.

We're sorry that in his haste to score political points against the Bush administration, he chose to squander his credibility by linking U.S. troops to despots who killed millions of innocent people.

We're sorry that at this key moment in the war on terror, when democracy demands a full and open debate on all U.S. policies and tactics, he so devalued his own voice and potential contributions.

We're sorry that Mr. Durbin woke up this morning still the Senate's assistant minority leader – the second-ranked Democrat – and that it apparently hasn't occurred to fellow Democrats that he should step down from the leadership.

Online here

Tuesday, June 21, 2005


Southern Baptists, public schools

By The Erudite Redneck

The Southern Baptist Convention -- the actual annual meetin' -- is kickin' off in Nashville. Here's hopin' they stick to the Gospel and the propagatin' thereof, and avoid the kind of crap that makes the baby Jesus cry.

Like this anti-public, anti-education, anti-American resolution similar to last year's resolution calling for the immediate pull out of all children from public schools.

Hopefully, the education committee chairman, who I think is from Oklahoma, is smarter than to let such see the light of day.

1. Running from the world and hidin' kids from it makes for some warped kids woefully unprepared for their eventual encounters with folks with ways different from their own.

2. Last I heard, the public schools had not been exempted from the mission field. Students are allowed to share their faith, as well as their ideas on right and wrong, with others. Removing them is surrender.

So, to steal a wise quote from Redneck philosopher extraordinaire Jeff Foxworthy and apply it to the convention:

"And you know, the thing is, Southerners are as smart as anybody in this country. Our only problem is we just can't keep the most ignorant among us off the television. That's the truth."

(He continues: "I mean, every time we have a disaster, they never film a doctor or a lawyer. They always get that woman in the mu-mu and the sponge rollers. 'It was pandelerium. I thought we'd be killed or even worse. I looked out the window to see the Jenkins' house go right over our roof. All I could think was Caroline still has my caserole dish.'"

(Whose name has done been wrote in the Lamb's Book of Life, and remains on the rolls of a Southern Baptist church, although he has been estranged therefrom for years, havin' flirted with Methodism and most recently with Congregationalism.)

Monday, June 20, 2005


Y'all are insatiable

I'm gone for TWO measley days and readership goes to pot.

What's on YOUR mind? Mine is worn out.

"Open thread," I think the pros call it.

Maybe one of y'all have a topic to get the ER juices flowing again. I am still whipped-whapped-whupped!


Friday, June 17, 2005


Whipped, whapped, whupped

Done in.


Worn out.

Out done.

Torn up.


Set down.

Down beat.

Beat down.

Down, down.


Mind numb.

Numb, numb.

Dumb. Dumb.

Eyes burn.

Breath short.

Soul torn.








Thursday, June 16, 2005


Help Dr. ER's friend if you can

From She Who is My Wife, the lovely Dr. ER:

I have a friend at work who needs a kidney -- he has a genetic disease that killed his father, but my friend is much younger than his dad was when the disease hit.

Read all about it.




Dr. ER thinks the following e-mail exchange is hilarious:

Howdy, (Editor of Historical Journal).

You might find this amusing.

My wife, (Dr. ER, higher education mucky-muck), was on the same plane in (Big City) yesterday as (Prominent Woman in My City) and (her husband, head of Agency in Charge of Publishing Academic History Journal), all coming back here. She noticed that Dr. (Husband-Agency Head) was reading (Book) by (Author). She told me this because she knew I, too, am reading that book, and plan to review it for the (Accaemic History Journal).

I've been a nervous wreck ever since. [Just kidding, sort of]. He doesn't proof pages anymore, does he?

I will be extra diligent in my reading and review, nonetheless!

--erudite redneck

Not to worry!!
(Journal Editor)





Whatever -- I, I, I, I believe

The narrative sounds right. And the percentages are interesting. Thanks to Trixie!


You scored as Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan. You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavly by John Wesley and the Methodists.

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan


Classical Liberal




Reformed Evangelical




Neo orthodox


Modern Liberal


Roman Catholic




What's your theological worldview?
created with


Overheard in the ER household VII

Dr. ER: "We're getting these mesoscale convection complexes coming in tonight."

ER: "Does that mean it's gonna storm?"

Dr. ER: "Probably."

I love my wife.



Heather's mommies

Moments ago, for the first time, I picked up and glanced through the incredibly controversial children's book, "Heather Has Two Mommies."

In one of the drawings, one of Heather's mommies is wearin' a T-shirt that says "NO NUKES."

I'm thinkin' if the artist hadda put the "mommy" in a shirt that had a 4-H emblem on it, or, oh, a John Deere logo or something -- maybe a Bass Pro Shops shirt -- some of this controversy mighta been averted.

He said, tongue in his cheek.

I'm just sayin'.


Wednesday, June 15, 2005


Bird does ER and Dr. ER proud!

Phone rang just now at the office. Bird on the line.

"You should be proud because Shmirdly (Bird's friend with a similar name) and I just realized we were bored and had nothing to do, so I said hey, like we should go to the Capitol and she said like, what, and I said we should go to the Capitol to, like, learn stuff, so I've been showing her around and reading stuff and I learned about Angie Debo and now I'm in a big room with 23 governor's heads. (Scroll down for a pic from the Oklahoma Hall of Governors and other Okie-related pics). Frank Keating's head has no eyeballs."

LMAO. Indeed. Majorly cool. I love my Bird. She bein' as broke as a worn-out guitar string, I'll be glad to accept that as a dad's day present.

Dr. ER and I are both dreamers, when it comes to things political and historical, and we're armchair wonks. Bird is more of the literal, mathematical type. This was a pleasant surprise. Out of the blue! A real pleasant surprise.


Tuesday, June 14, 2005


Down Under blogging about blogging

Sweet Sweat, an Aussie e-quaintance of TECH, has a nice essay on blogging, bloggers and what it all means and doesn't, in terms of friendship, acquaintanceship and other ships.


Monday, June 13, 2005


Deja vu de nuevo

By The Erudite Redneck

Danged if the home county newspaper, the Sequoyah County Times in Sallisaw, Okla., didn't put a story en espanol on the front page!

The same story is played side-by-side, in English and Spanish. The English hed: "Tornadic Weather Causes Problems at Local Hospital." The other one, in Mexi -- in Spanish, says "El Mal Tiempo Causa Problemas En El Hospital."

The story is about how when bad weather hits, people don't know where else to go and so they've taken to showin' up at the hospital, which is not prepared to deal with it.

Good news story in a great rural newspaper, and Bravo to 'em for recognizing the growin' Spanish-speakin' population. First time, as far as I know.

It is not, however, the first bilingual newspaper in the neighborhood, he said, rubbin' his three good typin' fingers and thumbs together -- because this is literally my expertise as a historian.

Oklahoma’s first newspaper – first newspaper, not only first Indian newspaper -- holds a special place in Native American history. The Cherokee Nation itself published the bilingual (Cherokee-English) Cherokee Advocate in Tahlequah (in Cherokee County, adjacent to Sequoyah County, to the north), from Sept. 26, 1844, until the end of tribal government in 1906, just before Oklahoma statehood in 1907, suspending publication only during the Civil War and Reconstruction.

Its first editor, William P. Ross, regarded as the “father of Oklahoma journalism,” was a nephew of the long-serving Chief John Ross. The tribal government resurrected the first Cherokee-owned and Cherokee-edited newspaper, the likewise bilingual Cherokee Phoenix, published in New Echota, Georgia, near the present city of Calhoun, which started back in 1828. It published until 1834, just before the United States government, under pressure primarily from the state of Georgia, removed the tribe to the west.

The Phoenix's first editor, Elias Boudinot -– his Cherokee name, in English, “The Buck,” eschewed for the name of his patron at an Indian mission school -- is regarded as the “father of American Indian journalism.” Likewise, Cherokees and scholars hold Sequoyah, the Cherokee “Cadmus” who created the syllabary that enabled these first efforts to be printed in the native language as well as English, (and the namesake of Sequoyah County), in high esteem.

So, to the Sequoyah County Times: Saa-LUTE! For recognizing that the Mexi -- the growin' Spanish-speakin' population is on its way to puttin' the English-speakin' population where the English speakers eventually put the Cherokee-speakin' population back in the day. And, for tryin' to attract readers of all prevalent local stripes, without which a newspaper is just ... well, a bunch of paper.

Does me proud as a journalist, a historian, a county native (little n) and an Erudite Redneck. And, if for dang sure makes me want to brush up on the tres anos estudiaba espanol en la escuela.



It's not paranoia if ...

By The Erudite Redneck

Last night, I dreamed that all of my major worries had taken on physical shapes and were attacking me.

Current debt: Takin’ a jab!

Future debt: Shadowy, haunting thing, moanin’ and slingin’ some kind of icy-cold liquid on me.

Education goals: Takin’ turns shovin’ me around.

Health concerns: A set of triplets (one for each of three people, includin’ myself, I worry about regularly): Just beatin' me up.

House woes: (“deferred maintenance”): Punch, punch, punch!

Some of this might’ve been connected loosely to the storms that had us on high-emotional alert yesterday evening, and the chipotle steak and cheese sammich, with extra jalapenos, I had for supper, a little late.

But night before last, I dreamed I was in the yard of a farmhouse outside Seymour, Texas. I was alone. I got out of my truck, just as aliens (space aliens, not “illegal aliens”), materialized and beat the crap out of me.

I thought they would abduct me, and in the dream that seemed to be their original intention. But they decided, no, they just wanted to kick my ass. They got in their ship and just left me there, sprawled in the dirt next to my pickup.

And I’d had no reason for gastrointestinal distress that night.


What the heck does all that mean?


Sunday, June 12, 2005


I am Bill Clinton!!

Of course, I knew this already. Majorly cool.


What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by


Livestock news

By The Erudite Redneck

Look what Bird dragged in! A dang cat.

(Been awhile since I wrote about Bird: 19-year-old redneck redheaded stepgal, takin’ a sociology class at the local college this summer; recently declared she might declare same as her major next fall, when she returns to Oklahoma State, in Stillwater, to continue work on a physical therapy program that eventually will have her transferring – egad – to the University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center in Oklahoma City. Bird, my only young’un, is the apple of my eye.

(Some of y'all have told me you like readin' about Bird. Here are some oldies but goodies: "Twenty years ago" and "Baby Bird" and "Takeoff!" and "Idiot's Guide to Modern Teachin' " and "Bristol: NASCAR High Holy Day" and "(Dodo) Bird and natural selection" and "Wee bee" and "Mama ER speaks" and " 'Back to Sadnormal.' ")

Not just a cat, but a kitten. A scrawny, bug-eyed, mostly black street-thug of a kitty-cat. Injured and sick, no less. It’s a little bitty thing, and so ugly it’s cute.

I thought Bugsy was a good name. Or Deng. Bird and Dr. ER settled on Ice-T for a name.

A cat! Another darn cat!

Mao, the black bobtail cat that lives part-time on our front porch, is a regular family member, he’s been around so long. Bird says she showed up on 9/11. I was stranded in D.C. that day, and it took me a week to get home, as some of y’all know.

I don’t think I noticed him until Christmastime of 2001, when I was immersing myself in Chinese history for a graduate seminar that next February -– an actual, five day dang-near daylight-to-dark SEMINAR, with Orville Schell as guest scholar, at the University of Oklahoma. I produced a pre-seminar paper based on some of the reading, had to scrape together a presentation on the fly during the seminar, then I wrote a post-seminar paper.

On China. Which is why when I noticed the cat hangin’ around, what he said all the time, to my ears, was “Mao.” Hence his name.

Bird and Dr. ER wouldn’t let me call the new kitty Deng, which seemed entirely appropriate for a cat that came after Mao, because it sounds like “dung,” and they thought it would be mean to name a little kitty cat a homophonic-scatological nickname.

So, Ice-T is living in a box in Bird’s bathroom, still takin’ meds twice a day, until he’s big enough to take up residence with Mao outside.

In other livestock news, another one of the goldfish died. The deceased was Ralph. That leaves Dale Jr. Dale the fish died many months ago). Names inspired by the Earnhardts: Ralph was Dale's daddy; Dale was Dale Jr's daddy.

Bird also has Play-Doh, a beta livin’ in his own bachelor pad that she picked up at O-State and brought home for the summer.

In still other livestock news, Riker, the Pembroke Welsh Corgi, cost us almost $500 the other day -– to get a stick, as in part of a tree limb, dug out of an ear, where it had lodged and pierced his eardrum! Laws, it is ALWAYS somethin’ with critters.


Saturday, June 11, 2005



Somebody on another blog accused me of being a homophobe the other day.

Ah, no.

The same person had earlier called me a "heterosexist," and s/he meant it as an insult, since it meant that I thought heterosexuality was superior, morally and otherwise, to homosexuality.

I allowed as to how, why, yes, I AM heterosexist then. The person then applied the homophobe label to me, asserting that to be a heterosexist was the same thing as to be a homophobe.

One word: Bull.

I wish I had seen this article on Christianophobia before. It's from the Oklahoma Baptist Messenger, which I used to read, um, religiously, and only went to looking for an anecdote for the history project I'm working on today.

I might start readin' it again. Regular commenter and longtime friend Nick -- dagblast him -- has managed to help get me rexamining my religious-faith life.

(Nick, dude: I love ya, brother, but yer still way out there on that Right Wing Thing. I know you accept the label the same way I do my own socially-conservative-but-liberterian pin and my economically liberal one.)

Anyhoo, with knowledge of the word "Christianophobe," I could have answered the accusation of homophobia with it. Naaaah. Name-callin' ain't persactly "Christian," I don't reckon.

But "Christianophobia" and "Christianophobe" now do reside in my rhetorical quiver.



"Into the West"

By The Erudite Redneck

High-aimin' Spielberg mini-series starts this weekend on TNT. Here's the Web site for "Into the West."

Here are a bunch of reviews, most of which, as usual, seem negative.

My own thoughts, after the first episode, on last night, tonight and tomorrow night):

Great scenery. Good-at-times-real-good videography. Sweeping storyline (from 1820s to 1890s over the coming summer of weekly installments). Archetypical, not very personal, characters. Respectful, fair consideration of both whites and natives. Careful attention to detail.

Caution: This is a rich story if you bring some familiarity with Western history to it. It's still a good 'un even if you don't.

But you might wonder why young Wheeler seems to worship Jedediah Smith. And you'd wonder why his native counterpart hitched those pins to his pecs and stood in the sun until he passed out with all his friends and kin just standin' around watching. The show suggests but does not say that Smith was a rare pious Christian among mountain men, and it does not adequately explain the Lakota Sun Dance.

But, the chief value of "Into the West" is this: Some people who don't know jack about this area of American History will come away with some knowledge and information, and some empathy, they didn't have before.

Now, for my own contributions to Western history today:

I aim to write a short biography of Samuel A. Worcester, geared toward an Oklahoma audience, for the Encyclopedia of Oklahoma History and Culture, to be published in 2007, Oklahoma's centennial year, by the Oklahoma Historical Society.

Dr. ER and Bird are fixin' to head to a baby shower. I am surrounded by books, a sheaf from the vertical files at the historical society, a short stack of appropriate doctoral dissertations -- all augmented by the knowledge in my noggin I have amassed the past several years.

The Western Channel is fixin' to be on for inspirational background sounds.

The carrot at the end of my stick today? A steak. Beefsteak. Flesh of the bovine.

I've been beef-free for eight whole days -- amazing fer a fella who grew up with cowcritters just over the back fence, kept handy fer regular eatin' purposes.

But I have to write my way to it. Wish me luck!


Friday, June 10, 2005


"It's the money, honey"

Here is a take on gay marriage that I've never considered before, from my friend TECH at 51313 Harbor Street.

It is insightful -- not inciteful.

Here is a snippet:

... Banking, insurance and other money-oriented occupations ... (mostly) oppose gay marriage and make quiet contributions to organizations fighting gay marriage. They're not doing it to defend marriage. They're not doing it because they dislike homosexuals. They're not even doing it to win friends. ...

Read all about it.


Thursday, June 09, 2005


Feed the poor, house the homeless

Mark, over at 4 Rows Back in the Bleacher Seats, confesses a certain consternation regarding someone he otherwise admires, Sean Hannity, over something he said about the poor and poverty.

Mark can keep Hannity. I don't care whether Hannity "really believes" what he believes. I believe that what he believes, not to mention the way he acts, is wrong. No big deal. Mark and I, and Hannity, disagree, that's all.

But here is something Mark wrote:

"There are a great many people in this country, hard working people, that have jobs with incomes that are still below the national poverty level. Take anyone other than store management and higher that works at Walmart for example. There are many occupations around that don't pay enough money to live on. This is one of the problems that the liberal democrats say they want to solve, although they don't seem to have a workable solution in mind." (Emphasis is ER's)

Here's my solution:

Feed the dang poor. Give direct subsidies to families who can't make it on their working income. Distribute food and housing vouchers to those who demonstrate need. And let need be demonstrated by the accepted official poverty level or some other accepted measure.

Sure. There will be waste. SO WHAT? Not much irritates me more than people who insist that the gubment should be run "like a business." Hell, no. They are two different things, majorly.

The gubment subsidizes bidness, supposedly, to stimulate the economy. I say forget all that crap: Feed the people because they're hungry. House the people because they're homeless.

What in the world is "unworkable" about that? We do far stupider stuff with tax dollars now.

Come on, y'all. Weigh in, please.


Wednesday, June 08, 2005


B, on boys' duds and girls' duds

My blog buddy Bitch, Ph.D. has one heckuva thread going on over at her joint, on boy clothes and girl clothes.

Feel free to peruse. At last count, she has 109 comments; mine start at about No. 75. I am a lone voice over there!

I've kept it civil. I encourage y'all to go and do likewise.




Oklahoma's favorite son Will Rogers said something like, "I am a member of no organized political party. I'm a Democrat."

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Howard Dean strikes again -- and look at the Dems run from him. Shiite. Don't look like he said anything that most Dems don't really believe! (Note that I am a white Christian).

From the San Francisco Chronicle:

Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean, unapologetic in the face of recent criticism that he has been too tough on his political opposition, said in San Francisco this week that Republicans "all behave the same, and they all look the same. ... It's pretty much a white Christian party."

Read all about it.



Overheard in the ER household VI

Dr. ER: "We just ordered Dale Jr. and Dale Sr. baby clothes for (K) and (B's) baby boy-to-come. ... (Bird) and I are going to the shower on Saturday. I wish I could find some more NASCAR baby keys; Wal Mart doesn't have them anymore.

"Now, they're not big NASCAR fans, but I must do my best to ensure that their kid is brought up properly :-) (B) will get a kick out of it."

Yet another reason why I love the highly educated but down-to-earth She Who Is My Wife. :-)


Tuesday, June 07, 2005


Delay after Delay after Delay

Yo. 'Sup dawgs?

Click here to see how close yer own congressperson is to U.S. Rep. Tom Delay, who not only managed to circumvent tradition, custom and habit to turn over Texas politics, but has it in his heart to do same to the general gubment, as well.

Thanks to Arse Poetica fer the link, even though she/he and I agree on approximately one scintilla, and, although I honestly don't know, I wonder if he/she deleted one of my comments durin' a rhubarb over an "Intelligent Design" event at the Smithsonian 'cause I disagreed with her/him. I asked, and she/he gave no reply. WhatEVER. Still some pretty good stuff on his/her blog.



30,000 hits!

By dark? By midnight, surely.

Erudite Redneck is a hit in some quarters! :-)

Y'all, do me a favor, por favor.

If yer a regular here, or even a semi-regular, drop me a line in the comments -- with or without yer handle -- and tell me what you like, and what you dislike, about this blog.



To the Arrogant Left: Now hush

From The Associated Press, via the San Francisco Chronicle:

BOSTON (AP) -- Sen. John F. Kerry's grade average at Yale University was virtually identical to President Bush's record there, despite repeated portrayals of Kerry as the more intellectual candidate during the 2004 presidential campaign.

Read all about it.


Saturday, June 04, 2005


GTT: Exercise in vanity

Gone to Texas! To make copies of columns I wrote at a paper there between 1991 and 1999. Just to have. Who knows? Might be able to do something else with some of them.

Here's one, from '99, to tide y'all over, since it could be Tuesday before I'm back here! :-)


Hed: Song of the South grows faint this far west

A study shows that 82 percent of Texans polled said they live in the South. What of the other 18 percent? I reckon they said they live in the West, and that’s just fine and dandy, too, but the study didn’t say.

It was done by the Institute for Research in Social Science at the University of North Carolina – which is still a Southern state, although I hear the chamber of commerce in Charlotte gets kind of uppity once in a while, so there might be some confusion on the point.

Only 69 percent of Oklahomans polled said they live in the South, which doesn’t surprise me a bit. For one thing, people get confused about what constitutes the South, and Oklahoma, of course, wasn’t even a state until 1907, some 42 years after the War Between the States.

But don’t let the apparent geography of the Confederacy confuse you. In the part of the Sooner State where I come from, which is just spittin’ distance from Arkansas, there is little question about it. Heck, that part of Oklahoma is even called “Little Dixie” by the natives, and if you haven’t been there, it’s cut from the same cloth as East Texas, culture-wise.

East Texas, of course, is the most Southern part of Texas. Out here this far west, (Wichita Falls) it’s not surprising that people get a little confused. For one thing, when it came to white people and black people, there wasn’t anybody but the hardiest of souls out here on the frontier in 1861-1865, the years of the Late Unpleasantness. The rest were natives of the Plains variety. And Amon Carter forevermore confused things with that whole business about “Fort Worth – where the West begins,” or whatever it was he said exactly.

Strictly speaking, Wichita Falls is in East Texas. Draw a north-south line smack-dab down the geographical center of the state and take a looksee: In these parts, the line passes somewhere between Harrold and Oklaunion over in Wilbarger County. But Southerners aren’t known particularly for speaking strictly. Culturally, Wichita Falls, what with the big ranches so close by and the fact that it’s right at the edge of the Great Plains and all, is closer to West Texas than East Texas.

Over in Indian Territory, there wasn’t just a whole heck of a lot of non-native-type people either during the war, at least not the kind you’d invite to supper. It was mostly outlaws a la Rooster Cogburn tryin’ to outrun the long arm of the law extendin’ from Fort Smith, the closest clear-cut federal jurisdiction – and even it changed hands between the South and the North a few times over the course of the Civil War.

And the rest was mostly Cherokees and Choctaws, uprooted from the Southeast, which was and is the South, and they brought their Southern Indian ways with ‘em. And, in fact, while they didn’t agree on it, the Cherokees, by and large, sided with the Confederacy. Confederate Gen. Stand Watie, a Cherokee, was the last Southern general to concede defeat, the history books say.

So all you Texans who insist that all of us from north of the Red are just a bunch of Yankees remember that. As for the rest of Oklahoma, I’m here to tell you that most of the folks I know from the northeast part of the state will side with the South if asked where they’re from, mostly, I think, because of the influence of the Ozarks of Arkansas. And I’m pretty sure that my friends just across the river in southwest Oklahoma think of themselves as Southerners, maybe because of the influence of the Lone Star State so close by.

Oklahoma City is kind of an island to itself. You’d probably get a mix of “West” and “Midwest” and “Southwest” and “South” if you asked them where they hailed from. But those Yankees from up around Enid and anywhere else north of I-40 and west of I-35 are on their own. I dated a girl from close to Woodward in college and she declared she was from the Midwest. She and the rest of them account for those 31 percent of Okies who claimed not to be Southerners when asked.

So, where do you fall? Here’s a test of your Southernness, swiped from the Internet. You either known them or you don’t. It’ll be temptin’ to cheat, but don’t do it just because I have no idea how to get this here computer to print all the answers upside down.

You get three points for each correct answer. You get one point to start with just so you don’t feel left out if you don’t know any of them.

1) How many Vienna Sausages are in a can?
2) What was the number and color of Richard Petty’s cars?
3) Bill Dance is good at what?
4) What university does Bill Dance root for?
5) Where did Herschel Walker play (college) football?
6) After boiling peanuts for an hour you have what?
7) In cubic inches, how big is the smallest 1966 GM small-block V8?
8) A Cajun is likely to speak what furrin’ language?
9) What is a chigger?
10) What is scrapple?
11) Where is “The Redneck Riviera”?
12) What’s that fuzzy stuff hanging off the oak trees?
13) What follows logically? Johnson, Mercury, ________.
14) What’s the common name for a bowfin?
15) If you mated a heifer and a steer, what would you get?
16) Who sang “Your Cheatin’ Heart”?
17) What are grits made out of?
18) Who was nicknamed “The Bear?”
19) Why is the Blue Ridge blue?
20) What did The Baldwin Sisters make?
21) Who was Andy Taylor’s love interest?
22) What radio station carries “The Grand Ol’ Opry”?
23) Where would you find Vidalia County?
24) What sport requires 3 legs and a rope?
25) What instrument did Bill Monroe play? (typically)
26) How many strings on a banjo? (two possible answers)
27) When you argue with a fool, what is he doing?
28) What is a scuppernong?
29) Do you want the goats to get into the kudzu?
30) Why do you want to eat “high on the hog?”
31) What color is a John Deere?
32) What do you call the offspring of a mule?
33) What will you harvest when you plant “shade?”

Isn’t that a hoot! For the record, I scored a solid 70 – which shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone who knows me.

Here are the answers:

1) 7
2) 43, red and blue
3) Fishin’
4) University of Tennessee
5) University of Georgia
6) Hard peanuts
7) 283
8) French
9) A red bug (small parasite)
10) A sausage-like loaf made out of pig parts
11) Panama City, Fla.
12) Spanish moss
13) Evinrude
14) Mudfish
15) Nothing. A steer has been castrated.
16) Hank Williams
17) Corn
18) Paul Bryant
19) Because of the pollen
20) “The Recipe.”
21) Helen
22) WSM
23) Georgia
24) Calf roping
25) Mandolin
26) 5
27) The same thing
28) A wild grape
29) Yes
30) Because that’s where the better cuts of meat are. Rich folks live high on the hog.
31) Green
32) Another trick animal husbandry question. Mules are generally sterile.
33) Tobacco

So, are you one of y’all or one of you guys?


Friday, June 03, 2005


"Mr." & the "Bloodthirsty Beast"

North Korea: Crazier'n all get-out? Or secretly working for SNL?

From The Associated Press, via The Guardian:

SEOUL, South Korea (AP) - North Korea gave rare praise to President Bush on Friday, welcoming his use of the honorific ``Mr.'' when referring to leader Kim Jong Il and saying the softened tone could lead to its return to nuclear arms talks.

Read all about it.


Courteous Colloquists

Awhile back me and blog buddy Bitch, Ph.D., who is way to my left, got into a heated but respectful discussion about homosexuality.

Yesterday, me and another blog buddy, Frenzied Feline, who is way to my right, got into a discussion about conservative Oklahoma Democrats having nowhere to turn to in the last election but Bush.

Here is yesterday's colloquy, lifted from the comments, presented as another example of how to disagreee without being disagreeable.


So, whom do they vote for then?? :)
# posted by FrenziedFeline : 8:30 PM

Here's who they vote for, for lack of an alternative:

"Who are they? I mean the people obsessed with control using the government to threaten and intimidate; I mean the people who are hollowing out middle class security even as they enlist the sons and daughters of the working class to make sure Ahmad Chalabi winds up controlling Iraq’s oil; I mean the people who turn faith-based initiatives into Karl Rove’s slush fund; who encourage the pious to look heavenward and pray so as not to see the long arm of privilege and power picking their pockets; I mean the people who squelch free speech in an effort to obliterate dissent and consolidate their orthodoxy into the official view of reality from which any deviation becomes unpatriotic heresy. That’s who I mean."
-- Bill Moyers
# posted by ThePress : 10:05 AM

"And these people are not naturally "red." They're blue. But no way in hell, or in heaven's name, would most of 'em vote for a Yankee lefty. Dems take heed."


"These people" are the people I ask for whom they vote. You say they're blue, but won't vote for a Yankee lefty. Seems most of what's offered on the left, for the bigger positions, are Yankee lefties. Who does that leave for "these people" to vote for?
# posted by FrenziedFeline : 11:43 AM

I understood you Frenzied. And the answer is in that Moyers quote: They voted for Bush because, with no viable alternative, they fell for his faith talk, the fact that he is a (pseudo)Texan and sounds like "just folks." They were, and are, for the war in Iraq, mostly (but not all). The national Dems keeps running hard left, and the rural eastern Okie Dems will keep voting Repub. "Blue" does not mean stupid-crazy-lefty. It means, in the parlance of the day, "Democrat." These people -- MY people -- are Dems, fairly socially conservative ones, but freedom-loving, like myself. And the national Democratic Party has just about abandoned them.
# posted by ThePress : 12:11 PM

Go to

Scroll down to the second national map. Note the blue counties in eastern Oklahoma. They went with Gore in 2000. My home county did not, actually; it is adjacent to Fort Smith, the most conservative city and area in Arkansas, and is being suburbanized. I don't think a single county in Oklahoma went with Kerry in 2004.
# posted by ThePress : 12:16 PM

So why don't they just register Republican and vote Dem when they can find someone with whom they can agree?

You're right, according to the county map on, OK is completely red. CA looks like it stayed the same. Thank goodness my county is one of the red ones. :)
# posted by FrenziedFeline : 1:51 PM

Habit, probably, as much as anything. But, truly, it is a poor-poor part of the state, with lots of American Indians, and most of them still find more succor with the Dems than the Repubs. Myself, I can STILL stomach the extreme lefties in the Dem party easier than I can stomach the extreme righties of the Repub party, and I imagine that lots of my fellow eastern Okie peeps feel the same way. Further, holdin' yer nose and votin' for a Repub president over a Yankee lefty ain't no reason to change party affiliation! There's more to partisanship that the very tippy-top of the ballot.
# posted by ThePress : 2:03 PM

If the poor, poor American Indians have been following the Dems all this time, why aren't they in better circumstances by now?
# posted by FrenziedFeline : 2:18 PM

Well, they ARE better off than they were until FDR hepped 'em. Lots of them were living in dirt and eating whatever they could kill until then. And THAT's who, and what, they remember, to this day. Further, right now there is a big brouhaha going on between those who are defending the last scraps of Indian sovereignty, and the big business (read: Republican) community, who want to strip it from them. The jerks simply cannot stand to see Indian tribes find success.
# posted by ThePress : 3:12 PM

To the left is a new link in the Blogroll. "Blue Dog Coalition." Read about the Blue Dogs. These are the kinds of Dems I'm talking about. U.S. Rep. Dan Boren, son of former U.S. Sen. David Boren, now president of the University of Oklahoma, who represents eastern Oklahoma, is one of 'em.
# posted by ThePress : 3:17 PM

By the way, I do not support the Blue Dogs' support of the recent bankruptcy reform.
# posted by ThePress : 3:19 PM

Hate to butt in on an A and B conversation.

I just wanted to comment on the local news. Sounds like a lot of "gospel" being pushed out there.

Anyway I can see how people out there could feel contempt from the current administration.
# posted by pecheur : 3:49 PM

And to throw in my personal 2 cents:
Party politics in Oklahoma has a long and strong history that many are not willing to give up. For the time from statehood until the '60s, this was strictly a Yellow Dog Democrat state. Very loyal and faithful to the party. People here were grateful for what the Dems did for them in Washington, getting reservoirs and highways here to end the Dust Bowl Days. WPA projects helped make this state habitable.
Younger voters are less likely to remember those days, but I REMEMBER going to the christenings of dams in eastern Oklahoma as a family with my parents and grandparents, they were that important. Yep, we even had home movies of being the first people to walk across the dams and ooh and ahhh about their magnificence.
And yes, they changed this state, not only by controlling flooding and making irrigation possible for farmers, but by providing electric service to areas that previously had little or no service. No service, no homes. No homes, no people. No people, no jobs. No jobs, no taxes.

And please, DO NOT get me started on the discussion about the rights of tribes to maintain sovereignty. I come down firmly on the side of the Indian nations. I'll say no more now, not here. Suffice it to say that this issue cuts deep with me.
# posted by Trixie : 5:18 PM

And may I add, no government, no service.

And since the Repubs, despite the current administration's dalliances with big statism, tend to dislike government, no Dems, no government.

I like government. There. Said out loud. It is We, the people!

Nothing gets me riled more than a bunch of Repubs trying to run a government they fundamentally dislike.
# posted by ThePress : 6:52 PM

Dab nab it! I had a comment and my dang computer froze.

Anyway, I think I said something like:

You're definitely not interrupting, Pecheur. I've been asking questions because I know next-to-nothing about OK history. It's been an interesting conversation.

I'll have to look up your references later, Press, when I have more time. We'll see if I have anything more to ask after that.

Thanks for the additional history lesson, Trix! :)
# posted by FrenziedFeline : 7:54 PM

Thanks feline lover!!!! I too love coming here and getting edumacated about OK history. ER really knows his stuff, or at least he pulls it off well. [Bingo. -- ER] I wish he would become a history prof somewhere and corrupt the minds of the innocent.

With much respect.
# posted by pecheur : 10:54 PM


Wednesday, June 01, 2005


ER Hometown News II

From the Sequoyah County Times

Praise Festival Set

Come See A Man Evangelistic International Ministries is presenting A Church Without Walls Praise and Preach-a-thon Festival ...

The event will be held at Jay Reynolds Park on the corner of Opdyke and Iola Streets in Sallisaw. Norman and Jeannie (M.) will present a puppet ministry, 'Monkey Business and Friends' ...


Bikers Group Holds Meeting

Members of the Bikers Making A Difference (BMAD) Helping People charitable biker organization met May 15 at the Sallisaw Civic Center for their monthly meeting. ...

A moment of silence was held to remember (B.G.) who died May 14 while riding his bike. The group voted to send a wreath to his family. ...

Helen (G.) suggested members contacting her each month with a kind deed a BMAD member has done for another BMAD member so they can be given a token of appreciation and be the sweetheart of the month. This month, Jerry (T.) was surprised with a pan of his favorite food, cornbread that Helen made. ...

Melanie (D.) was the winner of the 50-50 drawing. She donated it back to BMAD. ...

A Pretty Boy Floyd Poker Run and Barbecue were held April 16 for Logan (L.), of Muldrow, who was injured in an accident when he was 2 years old. ... Logan is known as Logey Bogey to the BMAD members.

Anthony (E.) closed the meeting with prayer. ...


News to Use

Tim (P.) and the 'Traveling Gospel Band' along with Forman (S.) and the 'Revelators,' and the 'Missouri Revelators,' gospel music groups, will perform at the Wilderness Gospel Singing beginning at 7 p.m. Saturday. Wilderness Gospel is located on U.S. Highway 59, three and one half miles north of Sallisaw. The public is welcome to attend.


The 19th annual (A.) family reunion will be held Sunday at the (P.) Family Bluegrass Barn at Northview, 12 miles north of Sallisaw on U.S. Highway 59 and right for about three and a half miles on the blacktop road. ... A bluegrass music show will be held at 7:30 p.m. ...


I love where I'm from. And these people are not naturally "red." They're blue. But no way in hell, or in heaven's name, would most of 'em vote for a Yankee lefty. Dems take heed.


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