Wednesday, November 30, 2005


Bush at the Naval Academy

Here's the president's speech today, distributed by the Christian Communication Network, which was the only source I could find that didn't require registration or a subscription.

Lots of truth in there. But what's lacking -- still -- is what pisses me off.

No admission that things were not as they seemed when we went into Iraq. No apology for rushing headlong into it on faulty information.

Let me be clear, again:

I do NOT accuse the president or anyone in the administration of intentionally misleading us. Nope. Everybody in the free world believed Saddam had WMD.

I DO accuse all of them for being less than honest with the spin machine that insisted that WE MUST GO TO WAR TODAY OR BE ATTACKED TOMORROW. That was spin to the point of untruth.

And that's what tipped me, personally, over to support for taking the war to Iraq.

We're there now, like it or not.

The war in Iraq is bigger than George W. Bush. It is bigger than whomever sits in the Oval Office.

Yes, the war must go on until it's finished. But it does not require the current commander-in-chief to continue leading it. I am sick of his lack of humility, his lack of contrition and his lack of candor.

One admission that he was wrong. That's all I ask.

I support finishing the war. I am so ready for a new president.


Tuesday, November 29, 2005


Love quiz: ER is a Loverboy!

Ha! Swiped from Trixie.
(By the way, the previous, political quiz was swiped from MBR at Book Voices.)


You embody the German principle of Konstantzusammenschaft, which is best described in English (without using the obscure English word "sammenschaft") as "eternal togethermanship".
The Loverboy
Random Gentle Love Master (RGLMm)

Well-liked. Well-established. You are The Loverboy. Loverboys thrive in committed, steady relationships--as opposed to, say, Playboys, who want sex without too much attachment.

You've had many relationships and nearly all of them have been successful. You're a nice guy, you know the ropes, and even if you can be a little hasty with decisions, most girls think of you as a total catch. Your hastiness comes off as spontaneity most of the time anyhow, making you especially popular in your circle of friends, too.

Your exact opposite:
The Billy Goat

Deliberate Brutal Sex Dreamer
You know not to make the typical Loverboy mistake of choosing someone who appreciates your good humor and popularity, but who offers nothing in return. You belong with someone outgoing, independent, and creative. Otherwise, you'll get bored. And then instead of surprising her with flowers or a practical joke, you'll surprise her by leaving.


CONSIDER: The Window Shopper, The Peach

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name: BubbaBob

Monday, November 28, 2005


Surprise, surprise -- NOT

You are a

Social Moderate
(50% permissive)

and an...

Economic Liberal
(13% permissive)

You are best described as a:


Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test


Brrrr! & Redneck lawn deer redux

Colder than a well digger's hind end today. ... I think I heard one of the TV weatherdudes mention snow in the forecast ... Winds in the 40s out of the northwest.

I love it! Sounds like a norther' is coming through! Ha, ha! Not the Finnish death metal band! Ha, ha. I mean a dadgum BLUE norther!

Bring it on!!!

Reader mail, re: Redneck Christmas lawn deer:

Libby said...

As to the redneck deer light show, that was made by my sister and brother in law in Minneapolis, Minnesota last year. The funniest thing is that neither one of them hunt and are pretty vegetarian. It's certainly making the internet rounds so if you want to give him credit, you can credit it to C. Robinson, Minneapolis, MN

Consider it done, Libby!


Sunday, November 27, 2005


"Still, small voice"

The Prayer of Confession today at my church, um, the church I go to but I'm not ready to commit to quite yet:

"We confess that too often we have looked for You in the earthquake, wind and fire -- and not in the still, small voice. But your prophets have told us to expect something else, a revolution of the heart, a quiet inner transformation made possible by a God who won't give up on us. As the season of Advent dawns, come to us, abide with is, and grant us Your peace. Amen."

A God "who won't tive up on us." Thank God for AOL's "unsend" e-mail function! Thank God for Bird! Thank God for God!

Scripture: Psalms 80: 1-7.

I confess that the Scripture doesn't seem to match the prayer. So what? It's a lectionary reading for the advent of, um, Advent. (Hey, cut me some slack: Southern-fried Baptists don't follow the church calendar, and I, as a recovering Southern-fried Baptist, can't keep the terms straight.)

Even more mind-twisting: Take a set of fundamentalist Christians, and a set of liberal Christians, and have 'em read it and they'd come up with two totally different interpretations.

Whatever! Thank God for God!


Saturday, November 26, 2005


Trading post

For trade. One Bird.

Age: 19.

Intelligence level: Knows everything.

Education attained: Sophomore. (See above; is a GREAT sophomore.)

Abilities: Claims ability to live as an adult. Has demonstrated ability to live in a dorm, jobless, on student loans co-signed by others.

Wants: To live "on my own" and come home and leave "when I want to."

Complications: Love of male of the species has warped priorities.

Delusions: Believes she is living a grand drama, with male of the species in Massachusetts for weekend, parents who "just don't understand."

Reality: Is living incredibly typical sophomore year of college.

Danger: She will get what she thinks she wants if she doesn't realize error of her ways.

Material assets: None.

Attitude: Punkbitch one minute, feigned deference next.

Willing to trade for something of much less trouble. Will consider Tasmanian devil, wild longhorn steer, mountain lion, wet domestic cat, porcupine.

It's a happy effing holiday so far in the ER household.


Friday, November 25, 2005


Bronze (or linens or lace)

Dr. ER and I got hitched eight years ago today before a justice of the peace in a Texas courthouse.

Weddin' photography by one of my reporter-photographers who I'd assigned to be there (without telling him what for). That was fun!

A skinny little Bird, all knees and elbows, was present, uncomfortable in a dress for the occasion.

That was it: Me, Dr. ER, Bird, my reporter-photographer friend (who has since passed), and the lady JP, who was the coolest judicial official I've ever known (I got to know her covering cops and crime as a cub reporter).

Then we went to have dinner at the best steakhouse in town, then went home.

That weekend, Bird stayed with her grandparents, and Dr. ER and I went to Fort Worth, to the arts district (Amon Carter Museum, Kimbell Museum and such), supped at Sardine's, a cool Italian restaurant with good live jazz -- and stayed in a Motel 6 along Interstate 30, which is what we could afford, where we're pretty sure there was moderate gang violence in the parking overnight.

And there you have the beginnings of the ER household.

Happy anniversary to us!


Thursday, November 24, 2005


"Hey, ER, what's for supper?"*

(*Inspired by Grandpa Jones.)

Little-bitty yardbirds (Cornish game hens), stuffed with Granny Smith green apple slices, smoked with apple wood and basted with butter and white wine, broasted to a browny crunch on ER's trusty charcoal Weber kettle grill!

Sweet taters, just baked, then opened, doused with butter and sprinkled with brown sugar!

Green beans seasoned with bacon!


Deviled eggs!

Bread-and-butter pickles!

Whole-berry cranberry sauce!


Served with Kendall Jackson chardonnay!

With a choice of mousemeat** or pumpkin pie with Cool Whip, and coffee, or Black Swan shiraz/merlot, for dessert, while watching the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special on TV, then "A Christmas Story" on DVD!

"Yum yum!"

Just me and Dr. ER. Bird is having a Thankskgiving dinner with her grandparents and a Thanksgiving supper with her male p[arental unit and stepmama -- then we get her for the rest of the long weekend, for purposes of helping us Griswold the house! :-)

And what are (did) y'all do for fancy eatin' this glorious day?


**I've called mincemeat mousemeat for s'long as I can remember.


Thanksgiving (1917)

(For John Bunker)
The roar of the world is in my ears.
Thank God for the roar of the world!
Thank God for the mighty tide of fears
Against me always hurled!
Thank God for the bitter and ceaseless strife,
And the sting of His chastening rod!
Thank God for the stress and the pain of life,
And Oh, thank God for God!

-- Joyce Kilmer

I just love this poem. I can just hear him shouting it over the din of World War I. It seems to fit the tenor of our own times, too, no? Share your own favorite literary expression of thanksgiving.


Wednesday, November 23, 2005


Proud to be a gun-totin' Okie

This ain't a Thanksgivin' turkey shoot! This here is the Oklahoma Full Auto Shoot.

Click on. You will be amazed. This is recreational firearmin' at its best!

Woo hoo! Long live the Second Amendment!

Because one of these days, we will have to employ the Second Amendment in defense of the First!


Tuesday, November 22, 2005


Bush gambles big


President Bush courageously did the honorable thing today by pardoning the Thanksgiving turkey, thereby once again alienating his hard-right base, who were calling for his head.




JFK open thread

42 years ago today ... I wasn't born yet. Everything I know about President Kennedy and that time in history comes from books.

If you were old enough to know what was going on on Nov. 22, 1963, this is an invitation to share your experience and thoughts here.

(Mark and I are still at odds, but we have been this way before. By way of a peace offering, I note that he has posted his own recollections of that day over at his place.)


Monday, November 21, 2005


Who would play me?

The Movie Of Your Life Is An Indie Flick

You do things your own way - and it's made for colorful times.
Your life hasn't turned out how anyone expected, thank goodness!

Your best movie matches: Clerks, Garden State, Napoleon Dynamite
If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?


Double Bubba

Excellent reality check:

"Chafing under the dark rule of the neo-cons, many in the US and around the world recall the Clinton era as a halcyon one. And it's not surprising that people hunger for a lesser evil when the greater evil is Bush. But although the Bush regime, licensed by 9/11, has behaved in a particularly reckless and aggressive fashion, it is not fundamentally an aberration. The double standards on democracy and the rule of law, the claim to a unique prerogative in the use of military force, the contempt for the sovereignty of others, the cynical manipulation of public opinion to justify war: on all these Bush occupies common ground with his predecessors in the Oval office."

Read all about it, from Mike Marqusee at CounterPunch. (Above is the last paragraph; we call that "burying the lead" in the news business; plus, I think the headline is much harsher than the article, but they usually are.)

(If we HAVE to have a president who does all those arguably questionable yet apparently necessary shenanigans abroad, fine; let's have one who actually gives a hoot in hell about his fellow Americans. I am, after all, a Yellow Dog. -- ER)

Then there's this: Bubba in USA TODAY.

My favorite quotes:

"Sooner or later you figure out that pragmatism and compromise are principles in a democracy. It's not selling out your convictions," Clinton said.

"I practically need a rabies shot when I talk about this deficit and me getting five tax cuts while we had two wars going on," he said.

Clinton said he'd like to help (Hillary in the 2006 election) in rural Upstate New York, where, he joked "to be able to drag out a weather-beaten old redneck like me is an enormous asset."



Teditor roars out of the chute!

Friend and bloggy buddy Teditor has his own blog now. So far, it's a regular dadgum Livestock Crossing.

Teditor knows rodeo, and with the National Finals comin' up, he surely will provide lots of insight into the whosits and whatsits surroundin' it all.

Note to B: I've been dwellin' on how to respond to yer declaration that NASCAR is "boring." Mebbe so. But it, and pro rodeo, are the tippy top expressions of ways of life.

Football? Basketball? Sports. Rodeo and racin' are American subcultures.

Anyhow, ol' Teditor, too, thinks racin' is just watchin' a bunch of cars goin' around and around. But he can watch an ol' boy get up on a bull's back and do the same thing and call it a good time.

He knows the backstories on lots of pro cowboys, too -- and, like NASCAR, that's what makes it all interesting: not just what takes place in the arena, but every bit of clawin' and scratchin' it takes to get there in the first place.

Not that rodeoin' is all Teditor is capable of writin' about. But that's what's on his mind right now, so that's what's comin' out of his keyboard.

Welcome to the blogiverse, Teditor.


Sunday, November 20, 2005


Koinonia works both ways

By The Erudite Redneck

Koinonia is usually experienced as a positive, at least in my experience.

Joy. Hope. Expectation. Thanksgiving. Shared in fellowship with other Christians.

It works in the negative, as well.

Yesterday evening, two people who had spent the day helping clean up the church I've been attending were caught up in a high-speed police chase through the city. The fugitive crashed into the car they were in.

The man was killed instantly; the woman is in critical condition; the fugitive got out of his car unharmed and ran afoot before being caught.

The man was a deacon, the woman a steady volunter. Both were examples of the social gospel, Matthew 25: 31-46, in action, their friends say, and not just because they happened to be volunteering at church yesterday. They say it was their way all the time.

The wreck directly rattled the pastor and others in the congregation.

I do not know the man, or the woman. I know only one person in this church by name, the pastor himself.

But koinonia works both ways: I took away part of their grief, some of their questions, some of the burden of despair.

I can feel it. If that means someone else feels it less, then that's OK.

That's koinonia working with a negative to create a positive. That an element of the peace that passes our understanding.

The Prayer of Confession:

Lord of Life, help us to remember that our faith does not command us to love Jesus as if he were in some other world. Indeed, we are commanded to love Jesus in this world by loving the Other. When we are kind and compassionate to the stranger, we are kind and compassionate to Jesus. It's that simple -- even though it's not that easy. In Christ's name we pray, Amen."


Saturday, November 19, 2005


More BU(ll)SH-it

Thanks to AE for the heads up.

As outrage in Congress stalls the Bush administration's attempts this Thanksgiving season to extend tax cuts that will primarily benefit the wealthy, a new study examines the administration's claim that tax cuts create jobs—and finds it without merit.

Read all about it, from United for a Fair Economy.


Friday, November 18, 2005


(Screw) Women and children first!

Congress is the hands of a bunch of cold-hearted bastards.

Cut programs that mean the most to people who have the least in the first place. Leave ruinous tax cuts in place. Increase the deficit at the same time.

Blame it on a war that was reckless at best, and immoral at worst. Then blame it on God (Katrina).

Then sing with Jesus on Sunday morning.

Give me a Saturday-night hell raiser who stumbles into church the next mornin' and sticks what little jingle he has left in the offerin' plate -- ANY DAY. Drunks know they're drunks. These people couldn't care less about their overindulgences.

How can Republicans sleep at night?

On the upside: Thanks for the campaign fodder.

The story, from CBS.

Some liberal commentary from a button-popping proud Democrat.

Some information, from the Democratic minority on the House Budget Committee.(Requires Adobe.)


Thursday, November 17, 2005


Bubba in Dubai

The righty rights will dwell on former President Clinton's comment, in response to a question, that the invasion of Iraq was a mistake.

They will condemn him for speaking poorly of a sitting president, especially while abroad.

Three things:

Uno. He was speaking to Americans, at the American University.

Two-o. He said much more to be commended than condemned.

Three-o. Thr righties keep trying to apply World War II and Vietnam War-era sensibilities that no longer apply.

Troops get their news that way most young people do these days: from other young people who get it from sources that usually are NOT the main stream media.

The whole world is wired, and increasingly wireless, 24/7 -- so shut up claiming that anti-war protesters and the Dems in the U.S. Senate are giving away anything by speaking up.

The fact is this country IS TORN -- and to pretend that it's not is (another damned) lie. Those boys and girls are over there fighting for all of us, not just the righties.

They're fighting for truth, justice and the American way -- not the way the current leadership of the U.S. government is acting.

Bubba in Dubai: Read all about it, from the Khaleej Times.

Then there's this:

When asked if they trust Bush more than they had Clinton, 48 percent of respondents said they trusted Bush less, while 36 percent said they trusted him more and 15 percent said they trusted Bush the same as Clinton.

For the first time, more than half of the public thinks Bush is not honest and trustworthy -- 52 percent to 46 percent.

Read all about it from CNN.


Wednesday, November 16, 2005


Indian Country loses a voice

Vine Deloria Jr., 1933-2005 (Obit from the Denver Post)

Story from Indian Country Today.



Redneck Christmas lawn deer

This is the funniest thing I've seen in EVER! Dr. ER and I have the perfect tree to do this in our (sadly) suburban front yard!

(I got this as a bitmap via e-mail. Thanks to Nick Toper for finding a jpeg online for me. To whomever did this: Thank you for doin' yer part to keep the redneck in Christmas!)



Pam or Sissy? Redneck movie review

Danged if some of us, in an earlier post, haven't stumbled into something of a semi-serious discussion surrounding the two main female characters in "Urban Cowboy," (also, see this), which still is in my top 5 faveorite movies.

I say Pam was the one to take to the hay loft, if you know what I mean and I know you do.

Sissy was the girl to take home to Mama.

Here's the discussion so far. Call it redneck cinematic lit crit. What say y'all?


At one time, I coulda quoted almost every line from the original movie. That and Urban Cowboy. Yep, sad, I know. ...

# posted by Teditor : 9:19 PM

Well, crap. I was 16 when "Urban Cowboy" came out. I didn't know it was a movie. I thought it was a gubment propaganda film, and bein' FOR the gubment, without question back then, I lapped it up!

By the way, you know the town that "Bud" was supposed to be from?

Spur, Texas.

It's about 20 miles south of the road between Wichita Falls and Lubbock, a little ways past halfway between the two (turn douth at Dickens) if yer startin' out at WF.

Been there a few times. I b'lieve I'da high-tailed it down to Houston and Gilley's my own self.

# posted by Erudite Redneck : 9:34 PM

For the life of me, I can't figure out what ol' Bud saw in Sissy. I'd have taken Pam any ol' day. At least, I think her name was Pam. Any of ya'll ever use that line Bud gave her on their first 'date', "When are you gonna take me home and rape me?" Not my style, but I thought I'd throw it out there. Ya'll are a pretty eclectic bunch.

# posted by Rem870 : 9:45 PM

"You a real cowboy?"

"That depends on what you think a real cowboy is."

"You know how to two-step?"


"Ya wanna?"


And so begins the love affair between Bud and Sissy.

# posted by Teditor : 10:01 PM

Pam? No way. She was a cowho. Sissy was someone to take home to Mama. ... and her sexy ride on that buckin' machine is STILL burned into my mind lo these many years later.

# posted by Erudite Redneck : 3:10 AM

ER (or should I say ThePress - I'm confused),

I have to disagree. Pam was hot. She may have been a little easy, but she was no whore. She seemed to be truly committed to Bud. Not to be too corny, but she loved him enough to set him free.

Sissy was pure white trash. I'd have been too scared of what she might say or do to take her home to Mama. Pam had some class.

Several strikes against Sissy - she couldn't keep house (Bud's aunt said, "Ya'll live like pigs"), she wouldn't listen to Bud (he told her he didn't want her riding the mechanical bull - this led to their separation), and if you'll recall - Sissy was pretty durn easy herself - ol' Wes didn't have to work to hard to get her into bed (neither did Bud).

Add it all up and Pam was the clear-cut choice.

# posted by Rem870 : 8:22 AM

Now, I didn't say Pam was a whore. I said she was a ho -- a "cowho," to be exact. She wanted a cowboy to ride, and she found one in Bud.

Sissy was in love with Bud. Pure trailer park, but gen-yoo-ine love. That's why she actred out the way she did. She hooked up with Wes out of spite.

As for not doin' as Bud wanted -- it wadn't none of Bud's business whether she rode the dang machine or not. He didn't own her.

I like wimmin a little wild, even with a little "po white" in 'em. I distinctly do not like shallow people, men or wimmin. And Pam was shallow. Admitted as much herself, seems like.

I'd take a Sissy over a Pam any day.

(I LOVE that we have stumbled into a serious discussion of the characters in this movie.)

((Call me ER. That was the whole point of me dropping ThePress as a handle. Teditor: Enough with the confuising of the matters.))

# posted by Erudite Redneck : 8:46 AM

Hey, I understand about the name - 'twas a poor attempt at a joke.

I guess I'm from the old school (Dr. B would call me a mysigionist (or something)) - "To honor and obey". That Sissy couldn't obey.

Pam. She had class, she knew her place, she was hot, and she had money. Had Bud stayed with her, he'd have had his ranch in no time. She may have been a little shallow, but everyone has their flaws.

# posted by Rem870 : 9:11 AM

Rem, sorry if I was the confusin' one, as ER says. Truth be told, someone was actually rankled by ThePress handle. I find it extremely idiotic that the person be rankled by that when EVERYTHING around here says ER. Sheesh!

So I was making a point.

As for Pam, she didn't love Bud. She just wanted a real cowboy. She loved the idea of bein' with a cowboy, that's all she loved.

What that love story eventually showed was that despite the dirty trailer house and the spats they had over little shit, love prevailed betwix Bud and Sissy. Of course, it helped that he knocked ol' Wes' robbin' ass out to give us that fantastic "good guy" image of someone that'd had pretty much been a sexist hick.

I say if a man wants a clean house, grab a mob, a dust rag, the vaccuum and some windex and go to cleanin'. I betcha to keep that bull-ridin' lover goin', ol' Bud did his share of dish washin'.

And for those of you men who don't do much help in house cleanin', then bitch about not gettin' enough lovin' in the bedroom, well, the two go hand in hand. I do my fair share of house cleanin', and I get rewarded in the bedroom. ...

# posted by Teditor : 10:38 AM

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


ThePress is suppressed

Yo. I finally figured out how to change my handle, formally, to "Erudite Redneck."

Sheesh. Sometimes, when it comes to this high-tech stuff, I am about a sharp as a handful of mashed taters.

So, no more confusion, with my handle showin' up as "thepress" and me typin' in "ER."

I'm just Erudite Redneck now -- or ER for short.

And that's about as much bloggin'energy asd I have at the moment. After last night's hijinks, I am doin' the bloggin' equivalent of sittin' around in my night clothes, with the lights low and the shades drawn, sippin' soup and starin' at the TV.

What FUN, though. ;-)


Monday, November 14, 2005


Americans United loses ER

Well. This, fifth story down, from Americans United for the Separation of Church and State, speaks for itself.

What overkill. What stupid, stupid overkill. If AU doesn't reconsider this overreaching -- it really IS anti-Christian -- well, I'm through with 'em.

Thanks to Lores at Just a Woman for the sad and disturbing heads up.

I loved those books, even before I understood 'em. Fie! Fie on efforts to condemn the painfully not NOT explicitly "Christian" stories for being "allusions."

Barry Lynn might COULD use a little Holy Ghost intervention.

I'll pray if y'all will.


Florida Governor Promotes Christian Book
Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, in conjunction with the release of a major motion picture, has launched a contest to encourage students to read C.S. Lewis’ Christian allegory, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

Bush’s “Just Read, Florida!” contest asks the state’s private and public school students in grades 3-12 to submit essays, artwork or videos after reading the book, in which a group of children face good and evil in a fantasy land known as Narnia. The book is filled with allusions to Christianity.

According to the governor’s Web site, the contest is being supported by the two “media giants,” Walt Disney Pictures and Walden Media, which are releasing a movie based on the book in early December.

A vice president for Walden told the Palm Beach Post that the reading contest will help market the movie and that Florida officials approached the group with the idea.

“They came to us,” said Debbie Kovacs. “We didn’t approach them. They said they wanted to apply this book to their program.”

Barry W. Lynn, executive director of Americans United for Separation of Church and State, told the Post that the state should not promote religion.

“This whole contest is totally inappropriate,” Lynn told the newspaper, because of the religious theme of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. “This would be like asking children to watch the movie ‘The Passion of the Christ’ and to write an essay with the winner getting a trip to Rome.”




Someone mishandled my cock

Editor's Note: I had to fix this and move the rooster to the left, to keep it from "looking off the page." (Newspaperman's peeve). -- ER

A ceramic Rebel fightin' cock similar to this here one lives on my desk at work with a small redneck menagerie of other faux livestock.

Over the weekend, somebody knocked him off his perch. He landed on his head and is now missin' that red thing on top of his head, the name of which escapes me (not the wattle, which is on the chin) and some tail feathers.

A travesty has hit the ER workplace, to say the least. The Farm Bureau Reward Committee will be gettin' a call.


Sunday, November 13, 2005


"Stainless Banner"

Photo by The Erudite Redneck

The "Stainless Banner" was the second national flag of the Confederate States of America.

My friend who had the house-warmin' party Saturday night had every flag that ever flew over the CSA lighted and flyin' proudly along the long country driveway to his country home.

His country home is in eastern Oklahoma, in a part of the old Cherokee Nation that was particularly strong for the Confederacy. Cherokee boys from these parts made up the famous Confederate Cherokee Braves in an area later peopled further by white folks who came west from other parts of the South.

What a shindig.

"If you've ever been to a party that was catered, and the caterers brought chicken gizzards (and ribs and chicken wings and tater salad and beans and tea) ... (I had never, ever seen so many dang gizzards at one time; it was a sight to behold) ...

"If you've ever been to a party where somebody thought it entirely appropriate to go back home and get their pet 'possum and bring it back and put it on the coffee table for all to enjoy ...

"If you've been to a party where a bunch of men stood around drinkin' cheap-ass beer and smokin' $5 cigars ...

"If you've ever been to a party where everybody took turns sippin' from a big bottle of Southern Comfort, includin' the band and their groupies from a nearby junior college ...

"If you've ever been to a party where a good half-dozen of the females of said groupies, numbering some 30 or so in all, burst forth in an impromptu wet T-shirt contest (after I had left, damnitdamnitdamnitalltohell) ...

"If you've ever been to a party where a rank stranger got so torn down (heck, he probably showed up that way -- nobody knew him -- he very likely was drawn out of one of the trailer houses in the woods by the sounds of "Copperhead Road" blaring from the well-amplified band and the smell of gizzards waftin' on the breeze), that, after he went limp as a dish rag, drunker'n Cooter Brown, he was placed carefully into the back of a pickup truck and hauled carefully and deposited carefully on the stoop of a country church 3 or 4 miles away, and then the next morning at 9:45 a.m. you saw him stretched out and sleepin' in the ditch along the highway about 2 miles away from said church ...

"Then you might be a redneck."

And you might've been with a whole bunch of other redneck boys and girls Saturday night.

And the guy who put on the party is our king.



Wednesday, November 09, 2005


Little Dixie & Green Country

I'm off to Little Dixie until Friday night, then up to the Oklahoma Ozarks and Green Country to see to a buddy's housewarmin' and to see Mama ER and Brother ER before headin' back out to the prairie-plains on Sunday.

I will be out of blogshot, probably, the whole time.

Y'all have fun, but try not to bother the neighbors!


Tuesday, November 08, 2005


Support your local oil bidness

OK. I freely and fully admit that I have a soft spot in my redneck Okie heart for the oil bidness.

That's family oil bidnesses, and people like Mama ER, who used to get a check for something like thirty seven dollars snd thirteen cents a month from a lease of mineral rights under some land that used to have our name on it.

Around here, there are two kinds of native Oklahomans: Those who have made a fortune, or lost their ass, in the oil bidness (or both), and those who wish they had.

Fine. Grill Big Oil. But make damn sure it's BIG Oil they're grilling.

And I got one BIG question: Where the hell was the gubment when oil was $8.50 a barrel and Oklahoma and Texas were dryin' up and blowin' away?

Go do your duty not-so-BIG-oil. And be sure and tell those lefty Dems -- and those whorish supposed "conservative" Repubs that they can go jump in Dead Indian Lake.

From the Los Angeles Times
By Richard Simon, Times Staff Writer

WASHINGTON — Oil industry executives summoned to Capitol Hill are expected to receive a grilling Wednesday — perhaps unlike any they have faced before — over their record profits at a time of high oil prices.

But the questions won't just be coming from the usual critics. Some of the industry's traditional Republican allies are eager to demonstrate that they too share their constituents' anger.

Read all about it.



Talk amongst yourselves

Too busy to think about anything but work today. There's plenty to weigh in on, though.

Rioting in France? Could it happen here (again?)

Another Saddam lawyer shot dead. Will he ever actually be tried?

U.S. negotiates textile trade deal with China, including import limits. Where are the free-traders???

I don't follow pro football, unless Dallas is on a roll. But: Terrell Owens, spoiled brat or misunderstood sports star? (lol)

From Liberia: In the north of the country 24-year-old Dahn Johnson was walking 35 miles to vote. "This is a very important day in my life. I want to make history. Even if it means I will walk for 10 hours, I will do so," he told Reuters. Would you?

Or, choose your topic.


Monday, November 07, 2005


Surreality check

Somehow this parody of a news story from The Onion got on The AP wire!


By Deb Riechmann
via the San Diego Union-Tribune

PANAMA CITY, Panama – President Bush vigorously defended U.S. interrogation practices in the war on terror Monday and lobbied against a congressional drive to outlaw torture.

Read all about it.


No soup for me!

OK, so when the instructions on a microwavable food item say something like, "allow to sit for 1 minute in microwave," just do it, OK?

A bowl of Campbell's New England clam chowder got me last night -- in the face! Big bubble sploded all over as I was takin' it out of the oven.

Got two burns on my forehead and one on my dang nose. Woulda been worse for my forehead if I hadn'ta had a gimme cap on.

I swear, if it ain't one thing it's another. Seriously, I should not be left without adult supervision. Looks like I've got chowderpox. Makes me a chowderhead!

Now, I'm off to the doc to get to the bottom of a lil discomfort I've been having. I can think of no better way to ensure a good week than to go to the doc first thing Monday morning.


Sunday, November 06, 2005


God doggerel: Untitled

For a bag of rotten meat
Hung on a weak frame of bone
Such as me
To dare lift eyes to heaven!
To dare not away in shame!

But I will do as we’re told:
Prostrate myself and yet stand
With hands raised --
Quiet myself and sing praise,
Lurch into God’s own presence.


Saturday, November 05, 2005


Following Jesus redux

Awhile back, I thought out loud about the notions of worshiping versus following Jesus.

I think a cluster of important spiritual questions are being raised in this country by the dichotomy between what He said and did and so much of what is currently being said and done in His name politically -- and militarily.

There's a pocket of whispering here, and a pocket of shame there. Could it coalesce into a broad-based discussion among Christians in general?

We're due for another Awakening in this country -- and what so many people are talking about right now isn't it, in my opinion, although it sure could usher it in.

Here's something else from the Bruderhof.

In a nutshell: WWJD about the war in Iraq?

Teachings *about* Jesus are alive and well in our churches. What haunts me this morning is the question of what has happened to the teachings *of* Jesus?

Read it all.

(From the Bruderhof site: "Labels are not important to us. We acknowledge God's working in all who strive for justice and peace, no matter their religion or creed. All the same, we take Christ's commands seriously. Because of this, we cannot serve in the armed forces of any country. Rather, we seek to live a life that [in the words of the early Quaker George Fox] "takes away the occasion for war" -- and the social and economic divisions that bring about war.")

Jesus is a liberal. Jesus is a radical.



The spell of good intentions

Wandering through my Blogroll, I stumbled onto a little Kierkegaard -- or as I call him, just to annoy a good friend whose M.A. in philosophy brought him closer to studying Christianity than anything, "Kirk Regard" -- on a site maintained by the Bruderhof.

It was a click or two removed from Dana at Authenticity. Very profound. Very timely for myself.


There is a parable in the Scriptures that is seldom considered yet very instructive and inspiring. “There was a man who had two sons. The father went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’ And he answered, ‘I will not’; but afterward he changed his mind and went. And the father went to the second son and said the same and he answered, ‘I will go, sir,’ but did not go. Which of the two did the will of his father?” (Mt. 21:28–31).

Read the rest.



Blindsided by that son of a bitch, Melancholy. When this happens, there's no work, no progress on anything. Just muddling around, waiting for it to lift.

I've done two things today:

Uno. I started this book. Any feminists, women college professors and-or historians lurking about -- especially historians of the American West, the Southwest, American Indians or Oklahoma -- should check it out. I think this book will put the author, who led one of my own grad seminars, on the national stage for women historians. What I've read so far is excellent.

Two-o. I managed to get out and go to the Annual Food Festival and Baked Goods Sale at St. Elijah Orthodox Christian Church. Friend of mine goes there. Then I wandered around the nearby Barnes & Noble wishin' I had the money to get Dr. ER what she wants for Christmas. I'll be able to get it before then, but I'm half afraid they'll be hard to get closer to the holidays.


Lone ol' dang ol' house anyway.

Ehh! Eh! Ehh!

I think I need some chocolate. I think I need some coffee. I think I need some coffee and some chocolate. I think I'm going to Starbucks. Quad venti mocha, please.


Friday, November 04, 2005



The kids of two people I know got one of these Jack Chick tracts, The Devil's Night, in their candy on Halloween Night.

Check it out.

Note the evil visage of the evil PUBLIC SCHOOL TEACHER.

Note the melodramatic tone -- and creepy undertone.

What IS it with these people??

Evil is where you look for it. What a bunch of piffle.

I believe in that ol' Debble myself. Sure do. Ol' Slewfoot lurks and sneaks around seekin' whom he may devour.

But guess what?


To keep living in fear is the opposite of living in faith.

What gives Satan power? People who take his sorry selfish self too seriously.

You know what he can't stand? RIDICULE.

He's a joke. A wimp. Whupped.

So people should lighten up.

Jack Chick is scaring people away from a defeated Devil -- instead of trying to attract people to a loving God.

And to aim it at kids is particularly loathesome.



Eminent domain redux

Everybody freaked out over Kelo vs. City of New London, last summer's infamous SCOTUS decision rewriting the concept of eminent domain. And, well, people should have freaked out.

But I thought then, and see now, that our government does still have a formidable system of checks and balances that grinds into motion on something that really matters.

Here's what I wrote then.

Here's why I write now, story from Jim Abrams of The Associated Press, via The Boston Globe:

Contending that the Supreme Court has undermined a pillar of American society -- the sanctity of the home -- the House overwhelmingly approved a bill yesterday to block the court-approved seizure of private property for use by developers.



High steaks

Not a bad couple of days.

Yesterday, in the line of duty, I had to go to a Cracker Barrel to buy a Whee-Lo! OK -- I didn't *have* to buy it, I just needed to get the name of the toy. Googling "red wheel," "magnet" and "wire thing" didn't get me far.

Picked up a 12-ounce can of Jelly Belly jelly beans while I was at it -- and that's the ONLY dang thing Ronald Reagan and I have in common.

I got paid to do that. That's almost as fun as gettin' paid to look up words in the dictionary, and to read -- and to think. Beats the hell out of workin' for a living. Somebody remind me next time I start whining.

Last night, thanks to the assistance of a couple of really smart women who I admire greatly, I made some last-minute progress on a research project involving the Choctaws and journalism and whites and intermarriage and such in 1851.

Today, I'm once again behind on work, which means I'll have to come in again sometime over the weekend. Eh. Dr. ER's traveling, Bird in Stillwater -- what else have I got to do (besides continue my efforts to civilize Ice-T.)

This evening, I'm meeting a good friend at the Cattlemen's Steakhouse -- for excellent steak, wine and conversation with a fellow erudite redneck.

This place even keeps George Dickel at the bar! Right outside The World's Largest Stocker and Feeder Cattle Market. Damn-near lifesize photographs of bovines on the wall! (Y'all recall that I do loves me some bovines, medium as well as on the hoof.)

They have various cream pies with meringue as tall as a beer can! They even let you smoke cigars! I will be in Erudite Redneck heaven.


Thursday, November 03, 2005


The next POTUS

Bill Richardson.


Wednesday, November 02, 2005


Bush's pockets and a Man Meme

This is such a fun story, in a world so full of bad news.

By Nedra Pickler
The Associated Press
via The San Francisco Chronicle

President Bush may be burdened with the world's problems, but his pockets are pretty light.

It turns out the leader of the free world doesn't have to worry about carrying all the essentials of the common man.

Read all about it.


What's in your pockets -- right now?

I call this a "man meme" because I know few women who carry much in their pockets because they carry purses, and a What's in Your Purse Meme might collapse the whole damn Internet.

Ha ha.

Any of y'all feel free to modify this meme however you see fit. :-)

Here's what in my pockets:

Shirt pocket: Bic round stic medium pen, black; one of my own business cards, with the name and cell phone nukber of a woman, who holds a Ph.D., for whom I will go and pick up a trolling motor in Moore, Okla., next week en route to Durant, Okla., to deliver a talk at a Native American Women conference at Southeastern State University, in return for her and her husband, who owns a burger joint among many other interests, letting me and Dr. ER say at their place (I could not have possibly thought to make that up!); and one of those slide card things to pass in front of the all-seeing eye doohickey to get on the premises at work.

Left front pants pocket: Cell phone; two sets of keys, each one having a key to the house and a key to my truck, among other things, because I tend to lock my dang keys in my truck fairly often.

Right front pants pocket: a Winchester pocketknife; a Zippo lighter; a replica of an Indian peace medal from the National Museum of the American Indian in Washington, D.C., dated September 21, 2004, which I think is the day it opened, from Dr. ER, who bought it for me on a trip to D.C.; and $4.01 in change.

Left rear pants pocket; An end-stub checkbook, which is increasingly rare and can be sort of a hassle to get, but it doesn't stick out from my pocket (the checks are standard yellow).

Right rear pants pocket; a black pocket comb; my wallet, a trifold cloth, a gift from one of the girls (no married man ever buys his own wallet), the contents of which, being purselike, in a manly sort of way, would make a meme in itself.

WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET? (Apologies to David Schrader[?]).

Leave it in a comment here. Post it on your own blog.

Lawsy, how I loves the Internets.


Tuesday, November 01, 2005


Senate Dems find backbone

By The Erudite Redneck

Finish the war in Iraq.

But bust the balls of every lying liar who lied to get us there in the first place.

I remember reading in the weeks leading to the Iraq war, in the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, how the Bush administration was wrong -- and probably even being misleading.

Lots of stuff about centrifuges and aluminum tubes. Made my eyes glaze over.

I refused to believe it. Though I didn't vote for Bush either time, I gave him and his administration the benefit of the doubt. I was swayed by 9/11 -- and ready to believe the best of my president and the worst of our potential enemies.

Iraq either had, or was trying hard to get the stuff required to go nuclear and we, or our interests -- but really, the intimation was WE, here -- were the target.

The prewident said so. So did others. I believed him.

I reasoned it out this way:

If I KNEW somebody living in a house on the next block had absolute plans to come to my house, rob me and kill me and my family, and I couldn't get the law to do anything about it, why, then, I would feel utterly justified in going over there, busting his door down and shooting first.

That's what happened with Iraq. Only we didn't KNOW it after all, did we?

Partly because the neocons were slobbering over themselves with power. Partly because Judith Miller was the administration's lapdog -- a shame to the news business. Partly because the rest of the press has cut this administration so much slack it's another shame.

Partly because of millions of other fools like me.

But mostly because they lied.

To. Us.

To. Me.

The. Bastards.

Finish the war. Hope for the best for democracy in Iraq. Don't get your hopes up.

Prosecute the liars to the fullest extent of the law. If that means impeachment, bring it on. Those wheels are still oiled from '98.

The Senate Democrats grew a backbone today.

It's about damn time.

Sen. Harry Reid's statement, released before taking the Senate into closed session, is published here in full:

"This past weekend, we witnessed the indictment of I. Lewis Libby, the Vice President's Chief of Staff and a senior Advisor to President Bush. Libby is the first sitting White House staffer to be indicted in 135 years."

The statement continues:

"This indictment raises very serious charges. It asserts this Administration engaged in actions that both harmed our national security and are morally repugnant.

"The decision to place U.S. soldiers in harm's way is the most significant responsibility the Constitution invests in the Congress.

"The Libby indictment provides a window into what this is really about: how the Administration manufactured and manipulated intelligence in order to sell the war in Iraq and attempted to destroy those who dared to challenge its actions.

Read all about it.



Tree of Life

By The Erudite Redneck

Twenty-one years ago this fall, in the frosty after-midnight hours on a Friday night, a 20-year-old ER like to met his maker in this grove of trees, where a creek goes under an old U.S. highway a couple of miles from the house in eastern Oklahoma. The speedometer was hovering between 48 and 50 at impact. I think my car was a '78 Chrysler LeBaron. Big car. Thank goodness. The tree that stopped me from rolling into the creek upside down is right in the middle of the picture.

Here's a closeup. The scar remains. I drive by it often when I'm home visiting Mama ER and Brother ER. Totaled the car. I lost some teeth and had to have a root canal. I have a scar on my chin still. The doctor in the emergency room was annoyed because before he could sew me up, he had to pick Copenhagen out of my face flesh. I had just taken a job at a radio station. The guy who hired me actually held the announcing job open for me for 30 days until I could talk right again -- as right as any hillbilly can ever talk.

Stupidest thing I ever did came right before impact: "I think I'll lean my head against this nice, cool window." And it came after a 12-pack at least of other stupid things, consumed to and fro a high school football game 60 or so miles away.

I broke in a new youth minister that night. He was 20-something, right out of seminary. He was a city boy -- and he had no clue what he had gotten hisself into by taking a job at my church.

He's the one I called when I got out of the crumpled, bloody car and stumbled down the road to a house to a phone. He's the one who came and got me.

He's the one who drove back by the scene, with a county deputy car and highway patrol there, trying to find the driver.

He was the one who convinced said law officers that while the still-cold Coors cans glistening with condensation, reflecting the emergency lights of two cop cars, were obviously mine, that since no one else was involved in the wreck, I probably had had adequate punishment by wtecking my car and my face.

He's the one who drove me into Fort Smith, Ark., to the emergency room.

He's the one who I called, not a family member, because I was properly embarrassed and ashamed, and well, the fact is, a youth minister is decent cover for less forgiving authorities.

Hug a youth minister next time you see one -- especially if it's a city slicker who's call has sent him to a little town with a bunch of redneck kids.

Redneck Christian kids believe in Jesus -- but as a direct result, they sometimes also believe they're 10-foot tall and bullet proof. Until you grow up some, blessed assurance can make you plumb reckless.


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