Rev. Erudite Redneck, B.S., B.S., M.A., M.Div.

So, Dr. ER and I were waitin' for the new Harry Potter movie to come on, with maybe 20 to 25 other peeps, at the Saturday matinee. It was at our neighborhood theater, dating to the '80s at least, not one of those high-falutin' theaters at a mall.

The movie started and right off the bat, I noticed most of the seats were squeaking. A boy across the aisle and down a couple of rows was pelting his parents with questions.

A young couple behind us whispered a few times, which is all it takes to set me to fuming, usually, 'cause I am a stickler for bein' quiet once the movie starts -- and I am uncomfortable with talkin' and carryin' on during the previews even.

But ...

It was a little different, because I am positive that everyone in the theater had read the book, or at least knew the general story line, so there was nothing to give away by whispering about it, so I relaxed a little.

Then, I realized that squeaky seats comes with the things we like about this theater, which is mainly the fact that it's not in a mall and is large by current standards, and it doesn't look like it's changed since it was built. It makes Dr. ER's and my inner-teenager feel right at home.

And I got to thinking about how it was the first time in a long time that I felt pretty relaxed in a movie theater -- this with Mr. Phentermine ridin' shotgun even --probably the first time since the third time I went to see "Twister."

And it dawned on me -- and this ain't nothin' too profound, y'all; it was just a lil ol' epiphany -- that people in general tend to annoy me a great deal.

I love people in the abstract, I can talk to people from a lectern, I can write to the masses in my work, and I can sometimes "be there" for individuals who need a shoulder or an ear.

But in general, people just get on my dang nerves, which idn't the epiphany, though, this is:

I need to get over that. If my call is to love all others -- every single other (leavin' room, of course, for the usual flare-ups that just come with bein' a human bean and the occasional dealings with real assholes -- it's the least I can do.

People are messy, noisy, often thoughtless and occasionally smelly. That's the fact, Jack, and I need to quit lettin' it get stuck in my craw. ("Crop" for any of y'all sticklers.)

And I started right then tryin' to repent of it. Good luck to me! I got purt' near a liftime of doin' to undo on this one.

--ER