Friday, April 20, 2007

 

Yes, I *do* stand for lawn order

Lordy, I got the screamin'-muscles-the-day-after-the-first-bout-with-mowin'-the-yard-and-weedin'-the-flower-beds-blues -- da dum, da dum!

But, I can hold my head up in the neighborhood and in Manworld again -- or, as I malapropped talkin' to Dr. ER on the phone last night, I can hold my man up in Headworld, to which she snorted, "I didn't know it had gotten that big."

Har har har.

The front yard was such a challenge because, one again, I have neglected my nuts. The new mower mulched 'em pretty good, but I'm going to have to give 'em a good scrapin' tomorrow.

There was a sad -- and gross moment -- out back, when I finally remembered to remove and discard the drip pan from my trusty Weber, which was plumb full and sloshy with goose grease from the last time I used the grill, which was before Mama took a turn for the worse.

That day, she was in a hospital suite, not just a room, and was alert and pretty much knew what was up. I'd told her all week that I was going to roast a goose for New Year's on my grill and bring her some, and she pooh-poohed the idea.

But when I brought it, she liked it in spite of herself, and actually ate quite a bit, enough to impress her nurse. And I'm stopping now because damn it to hell, I miss my mama.

Here. Go read Dr. ER's "Open Letter to President Bush." It's a repeat, but timelier than ever.

--ER

Comments:
Laughing so hard my sides hurt! Neglecting your nuts is not allowed in Manworld, from what I hear.
 
I'm liable to get denutted and drummed plumb out of the Fraternity of Man.

Hoo hoo.
 
I got nuttin' on you! The willow oak next to the house just drops its nuts all over, but I just let them stay where they fall.

I've found it's better if I keep my hands off the nuts.
 
Viagra commercials aside, as time goes on it is often wiser to let nuts, after they fall, to lie dormant. The world only needs just so many oaks, and squirrels have to eat too.
 
You know, I just didn't want to mention the whole "nuts" thing, because, as a man, talking about another man's nuts, even acorns, is just wrong.
Tomorrow is my "yard day", and I hope to have fewer nuts, and thistles, once I am done (I was going to say something about "prickles" or "pricks" but the reference would have been obscure and inappropriate).
 
"And when we were all fallen to the earth, I heard a voice speaking unto me, and saying in the Hebrew tongue, Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me? it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks."


(What the heck does that mean, anyway?)
 
Tomorrow is yard day for me too. The weather finally let up. It's gonna be almost 70. Yippppeeeeeee.

I miss Mama ER too.
 
Here's that verse in the version from The Message:

12-14"One day on my way to Damascus, armed as always with papers from the high priests authorizing my action, right in the middle of the day a blaze of light, light outshining the sun, poured out of the sky on me and my companions. Oh, King, it was so bright! We fell flat on our faces. Then I heard a voice in Hebrew: 'Saul, Saul, why are you out to get me? Why do you insist on going against the grain?'

And from the NIV:

Acts 26:14 (New International Version)

14We all fell to the ground, and I heard a voice saying to me in Aramaic,[a] 'Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.'

Acts 26:14 (Contemporary English Version)

14We all fell to the ground. Then I heard a voice say to me in Aramaic, "Saul, Saul, why are you so cruel to me? It's foolish to fight against me!"
 
Ox Goad or Prick: the long staff with a sharp end that was used by farmers/teamsters to help oxen understand what you ment for it to do when you gave it a command. If the oxen rebelled and kicked against it, the sharp point would drive deeper into the animals flesh. The harder it rebelled the deeper it would go.

And Mr. Historian:
Ox goads were in common usage in the U.S. of A. right up till the
transcontinental railroad made overland frieghting and things such as the Oregon trail obselete.
Sometimes you can still find their metal tips along the Texas Road in Eastern Oklahoma. So from Bibical times up to about 1870 the metaphor was easily understood.
 
It may be hard to kick against the pricks, but does kicking a prick . . . if you know where I'm going with this please just stop me, because I am very tired.
 
I reckon I do need to spend more time studying the things of history, and not just the ideas.
 
Well I did google it before I comitted myself in print. Some of the things rattleing around in the back of my skull are not necessarily true. In checking it out I did re-learn a number of things. A Prick a.k.a. a Rod, a.k.a. a Long Rod was 16.5 feet long, thus became the source of the basic land measurment we use today "The Rod". The Goad was 4 feet and miscelaneous inches long, thus four Goads equaled a Long Rod.
True or not it makes sense that the farmer would use the stick he was carrying to prode along the oxen to measure the length of his furrow.

Some of history does turn on the damndest detail. Someday over frog legs ask me about the Sycamore Fig and the Tree of Knowledge for example.
 
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