Saturday, March 04, 2006
Things and Supplies
Dr. ER guest blogging for ER, who, foaming at the mouth, rushed off to go eat a leg sandwich.
No, not what you're thinking; ER's gotta have himself a soft shell crab sandwich; a sandwich I won't eat because I eat no sandwich that has legs hanging outta the bun.
ER wanted to put up these photos and stories himself, but because of his Lenten promise not to eat beef or pork (y'all should hear the whining) he searches instead for something to fill the rib-eye shaped hole in his belly. He's pretty close to eating turkey SPAM at this point, and Lent isn't even a week old. I will need extra Xanax by Easter.
The first thing up today is the vista that ER wakes up to each day when he turns over and puts his glasses on.
A careful inventory shows a number of dichotomous items, all of which, on average, yield an E. and an R.
Two OSU cups; a bag of likely-softened mints; a book of daily devotions; a lamp that he stood in line for hours to get FREE (you can buy 'em for five bucks) at the grand opening of a new furniture store in Texas. Note the sleep aid and the off-brand nicotine replacement therapy in his trash can. Note also the legs and horns of his stuffed bulls and cows.
Note also the epic history of Europe that he's been reading for six months; he's almost done.
Major Dr. ER points to anyone who can name the book or book series of the book on the upper right hand side of ER's night stand -- the light blue one.
Here is the ER household mantle. Until Christmas 2005 the mantle was a display for photos of Bird and various beaus or Bird with her cello. Once the stockings came down, we de-Birded the mantle. The checkerboard is on that ER made in shop class back when he was more R than E; the black and white is ER's fave photo Dr. ER took in Douglas, WY; the photo in the foreground is a vista Dr. ER took in Sedona; doesn't do it justice, but the rear view mirror appears both ahead and behind on the road, with Sedona red rocks playing image and afterimage. A mug ER got for Christmas this year from major pal who knows ER's affinity for all things cattle. A blue vase pained by Dr. ER. Mantle results: A little bit E. and a little bit R.
Now the following shots show the obverse and reverse of a commemorative plate that Dr. ER bought for ER in Blackwell -- it passes for art in the ER household. It's really a commemoration of the art of butchering cattle, from beginning to end. The reverse and logo shows that the plate honors Beef, and was created for an outfit in Hobart in the late 1970's. A lot of folks notice this piece of so-called art; only when they get up close do they realize what a bloody set of scenes it portrays. Still, Dr. ER allows all kind of ER-type "art" in the house, having given up any notion of a decorating scheme. Our scheme is motley -- half of it's E. and half of our art is R. I worry at times that the R. is creeping out of Dr. ER's little room into the rest of the house; this plate is a good example:
At the top of the plate, the poor cows are grazing; to the right, little do the cows know it, but this is what they're gonna look like soon. At about five o'clock, the cows should start to suspect something. At seven o'clock, cows grazing; at nine o'clock the lady of the house buys beef. And in the center, cowboys are branding their cattle.
A closeup of the center follows:
On the reverse of the plate is what I like to call "Ode to Beef." In case you can't read it (was not an easy piece to shoot), it pays tribute to the muscle flesh from cows:
Beef...An Industry of Nutrition. This fine porcelain plate has been created by World Wide Art Studios as a tribute to the Beef Industry. Produced in a limited edition of ten thousand pieces, the ten color design was kiln fired fusing color with glaze to insure that is beauty will last forever.
Below is a closeup of the Barne's Feed Lots logo:
What you can't see beneath the logo above and what is cropped out of the logo shot is an admonition that this fine, decorative plate is meant purely for that -- decoration, or, as I like to think of it, "decoration." (with very obvious quote marks around the word).
It goes on to warn owners of this fine piece of art not to use said piece of decoration for food.
Results of Art Analysis: Totally and completely R!
And now....something to really freak you out. ER has kept the following document ever since he was a sorta wee one. In the late 1970's, apparently, the Klan Youth Corps was still making the rounds of rural Oklahoma schools, attempting to recruit youngsters into their group.
The Danny Bonaduce-esque boy pictured is, I guess, what the Klan believed a white supremacist teenager would look like at the time.
To quote some of the sentiments in the document:
"If you are a White student between the ages of 12 and 17, and ideologically oriented towards the survival of White Christian civilization and values, then the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan invite you to become a part of the Klan Youth Corps."
Gad, I'm pretty sure similar pamphlets were handed out during Mao's reign in China, encouraging youth to join the Red Guard. Un-effing-believable that this kind of stuff was still be handed out to ER and his ilk when we were junior high-aged.
Now just imagine -- "Son, I don't want you to get behind in your studies, so only one extracurricular activity -- you can join the Boy Scouts, the FFA, or the Klan."
This reverse side requires the applicant to certify that he is White and that he will keep secret and confidential any information he receives AND that he meets all requirements under penalty of perjury if falsified.
ER will tell the whole story of this document and how he came by it and why he kept it all these years, but even in my backwater of a home town, this kind of stuff wasn't going on in the late 70's or early 80's.
And here is yet another piece of memorabilia ER owns, along with his membership card to a gamecock club somewhere in OK. No commment needed from me on this one, I don't think:
And the following picture is for ER to explain later:
And no ER post, guest or no, would be complete without the gratuitious display of Ice-T.
Major Dr. ER points go to anyone who can remember what movie the term "Things and Supplies" (the hed for this guest post) comes from. Am thinking Tech or drlobo can get it if they scratch their heads. It's part of the ER household family lexicon now.
What's in the bag? "Things and Supplies."
It's also good filler when you can't remember the words to the OSU Alma Mater: "Oh, OSU and stuff....things and supplies...." words actually sung by a member of this household prior to a football game last year.
It's also useful on the phone when telemarketers call:
"Is this Mister ER?" says the voice from Bangladesh...
"Things and Supplies" says Dr. ER.
It's the only way to get revenge for off-shoring: Mess with the overseas-but-pretending-to-be-in-the-U.S. caller: Screw with the English language.
More from ER later. Dr. ER, being more R than E today so ER can eat......
Outstanding commentary and eyecatching pictorial from your homestead. I keep clicking on the picture of the Klan kid to look at that shirt again. Reminds me of the yellow leisure suit I owned in the 70s. Had a pair of white shoes to go with it.
Being similarly aged and from the same generally backwoods area as you doc -- only more so -- I too, remember no blantant klanism at the time, though there were whispers....Can't wait to hear ER's tale.
By the way, is that an auburn-colored liquid of some kind in the back OSU glass on the bedstand?!
I received a calling card from the local klan about five years ago. Both my children are minorities. The police told my husband not to worry, those boys are harmless. I keep the card as a reminder to be vigilant. I wonder if my camera will reproduce it?
I'm enjoying a lazy day of watching the TVLand Mayberry Marathon tribute to Don Knotts. Barney just shot himself in the seat of the pants. Fine entertainment!
I like the Shakesphere bit better though.
If you ever want to know why you do not want to winter over in South Dakota read Little Town on the Prairie.
I'll get Junior to post some of his Little X on the Prairie pictures someday soon.
The only think I have to add about the Klan handout: Theyt were passing them out in from of my junior high school; I took it, gave consideration to it, and realize real fast that none of that crap could be reconciled witht he Gospel, which I was hearing at the Baptist church down the road.
The pieces of a TV remote are pieces of a TV remote. I "dropped" the remote just as a severe gravity surge occurred. ... OK, OK, I "dropped" the remote just when severe wind sheer occurred and it flung the remote into the the headboard of the bed.
OK, OK, I had a fit -- over things I have no immediate control over that drive me crazy sometimes, that have only to do with stupid worries and fears that I cant seem to shake -- and threw it. Into the headboard. And it so shocked me to see it disintegrate that I'm keeping it as is, as a reminder of how easy anger can lead to unintended violence and consequences.
Still life, titled "Anger Mismanagement."
Dr. ER did do good here, didn't she!
After many, many tries over many years, I was able to quite three years ago.
I don't think anyone LOVED smoking more than I did -- or had failed more times previously! So I am living proof that it CAN be done.
My three-year anniversary of being nicotine free actually hits around May 14th -- my daughter's third birthday :-)
Anyway, I was always struck that Moses would lose it over and over, and there would be no real earthly consequences, until the day he whacked the rock from which he was simply to call water forth from. That was the proverbial last straw -- and Moses never got into the Promised Land he was wandering around leading his people to all those years.
The moral of the story for me: God is a forgiving God, yes, but there are consequences for sinful behavior. Like Moses, I imagine God has a number in mind of how many times I can completely lose it, and once I reach that number, there are earthly consequences I don't really want to deal with.
So, this runs through my mind whenever I feel myself reaching the boiling point: "Do I really want to waste one of my temper tantrums on this one?" It has worked relatively well from time to time.
Me: "So, don't waste a mulligan if you can avoid it."
Dr. ER: "That's not bad."
It wasn't my anger that shocked me and gave me pause. It was the realization that anger can have consequences for which I alone am responsible. I broke the remote. I will have to pay for a new one.
I don't think God plays "gotcha," either. For some reason, none of the other times Moses lost it mattered. For some reason, some part of the Mystery, when he whacked the rock it did matter.
Drlobo, re: "Without sin we wouldn't need God."
I disagree. Engaging the greater truth behind the Fall if not the literal alleged facts of the Adam-and-Eve story: I've come to believe that even if humanity had not fallen, God would have seen fit to invade humanity in the person of Jesus anyway -- out of love for us and desire for us to commune with Him.
God does not only save us from sin. God saves us from ourselves, if we let him -- even if we just try. God would have had to come even to our sinless selves for us, as the created, to have communion with Him, the Creator. In fact, the Adam-and-Eve story suggested as much when it depicts God as "looking for" Adam (which is silly, when you think about it, omniscience bein' what it is and all, but it does helps flesh out the story and move the metaphor along.)
Drlobo, re: "Without sin we wouldn't need God."
I disagree. Engaging the greater truth behind the Fall......
I was just taking Trixies's and Nick's prior thoughts through an Aristotlian chain is all. Actually I don't much believe in the "the fall" as an actual event. If I did I would have to buy into the Gnostic or at least Zorasterian God of the World bit which the "Garden of Eden" story actually infers. "Sin" maybe "Fall" nope.
He makes abrupt, silly statements without thinking, harbors doubts even after seeing miracles performed, and gets so off track at one point that he is even told by Jesus to "Get thee behind me, Satan." But he is never in the least deserted by the Lord, who finally declares that this same Peter is the Rock on whom the church will be built.
I guess there is hope for me.