Tuesday, October 06, 2009




The Conservative Bible Project.

I may actually throw up.


Because clearly conservatives take the Bible more seriously than us liberals.


Can even conservatives claim that any more without laughing?
I just can't wait to read this.

In the pedia article, they cite an example of "liberal" additions, the story of the "adulteress". Apparently, it is conservative belief that Jesus really wanted to dirty whore stoned to death, but all those softy liberal Christians who secretly ran the early church changed the story so their concubines would be protected from death.

The laughter throughout the internet at this is drowning out any attempt to defend it.
Of COURSE, they want the KJV to be the sourse text for any modern translation, it being translated in a dang monarchy, and a Great Chain of Being world view! Altogether now, and the people said -- but just the men! -- "Pa-tri-arch-y."

These people are the Taliban of our time and faith. Give 'em time, and some hard power, and they will try to make this country a theocracy.

Scary dung, dudes.
Nah. LOLriffic, mostly.

They're too stupid to be dangerous.
First they came for the adulteress...

Anyway, as long as they don't get rid of the story of Elisha and the She-Bears, I'm fine with it. Don't go messin' with my favorite Children's Bible Story.
And the eight that milked a bear!
Word of warning from one who learned the lesson the hard way:


If you don't, then that boar-bear'll be following you all over the place.
Dr. Bill, truer and wiser words have rarely been typed.

Sad thing is, because all the conservative brethren and cistern have fled this habitat of demons and liberals, we can't get a really good explanation of how Jesus preventing the stoning of the "adulteress" is a "liberal addition" to the Gospels, or how revising the Authorized Version of the Bible is a "translation", or how this is respectful of Scripture in a way that "liberal translations" aren't.
I am relatively certain that this thing is a hoax. A gag. Conservatives would not say that they would REMOVE the words of Jesus (forgive them father, for they know not what they do) - they're too attached to the notion that you can't take words out of the Bible.

It's a joke, son. Gotta be.

Although, as Alan noted when I said this over at Geoffrey's place: What's it say about today's religious "conservatives" when you can't tell if something like this is a joke or not?
I think it's cute the way Dan is such an optimist about the right wing nutjobs out there. Like a puppy, don't you just want to pat him on the head? ;)

Just kidding, Dan. :)

I on the other hand am far more cynical and am not only pretty sure it's not a joke, I'm not even surprised.

What's next? A Constitutional Convention to conservitize the questionable Articles and purge all previous liberal SCOUS misinterpretations, such as those on slavery and property rights?

I kinda agree with Dan, this is too radical for inerrant Christians. Hell, if you change one thing what good is the rest?
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