Wednesday, August 05, 2009

 

What the fly on the Oval Office wall mighta heard before President Obama whacked it

Bill Clinton, galumphing into the Oval Office: "Brock!

President Obama: "Mr. President."

Clinton: "You got yersef backed inta a corner ov'ere in North Krea. That's sumthin' I know about, gettin' backed inta a corner."

Obama: "Well, ah, the vision my administration has for, ah, pan-Asian peace--"

Clinton: "Hey. Hill's on'er way to Africa. Lemme run ov'ere and rescue them girls."

Obama: "I'm not sure--"

Clinton: While'm there, I'll try'n talk ol' Kim Young Ill down a little on'em nukes."

Obama: " ..."

Clinton: "N'eat some'em Chinese ribs. I'll bring y'all some!"

Clinton puts one bearpaw-sized hand on Obama's shoulder, grabs his hand with the other and gives him the reverse neoLBJ treament, and galumphs out.

The End

--ER

Comments:
Now why are you getting it all backwards? Can't give the colored man his due?

This deal was worked out through "the New York channel," where N. Korean diplomats at the UN communicated that Il was ready to give them up, but wanted someone "worthy" to come get them.

The Obama administration worked over the past several weeks and came up with an agreed plan.

Clinton was carrying out a request from the administration and Il was ready to hand them over before the plane ever got there.

What's wrong with you?

Dr. Loney's got you thinking the South is a magic n....
 
Piffle. I was havin' a little fun. Obviously, this took some doin' and President Obama's peeps were in charge of the whole kit and kaboodle.

But I don't know how to talk New York City. Or Chicago.
 
You know what's bad for Clinton till the end of his days?

Arizona D's suggestion actually went through my mind yesterday.

Sad, sad.

And then the Frost/Nixon interview was on PBS last night.

Man, talk about haunted.
 
Eh. Bubba's rep as a ho-dog ain't slowin' him down a lick.

David had Bathsheba. We still admire him, and talk about her.
 
I'm telling you, the construction of male sexuality has to grow sometime. If not the last two and a half thousand years (when was David?), then when?

I'm not saying that I'm there. Only the outer shell of how I talk and write.

The heart is full of lust as another Southern President has it. But that lust was socially learned to some degree.
 
Wait a minute, Philip Roth wasn't a southern president of anything.
 
Sheeeit, Bubba just want'd to go over there and show up his misses, and let the world know he still has IT (or them as the case may be). Also Bubba has a chunk of $$$$ in Al Gore's TV network for which the two gals worked. Last but not least Bubba was hankering to go to NK when was President but Albright threatened to cut them off if he did.

So Obama had nothing to lose if NK kept Bubba as a trophy, or reneged on the deal, and everything to gain if he succeeded.

Beside Feodor, all us Southerners know that Obama is only the second colored American President:)
 
Right, LBJ was #1.
 
No duffass, it was Bubba! LBJ was an illegal alien.
 
Feo--Magic n....???? Bubba on a five-hour flight with two young asian chickies?Later that night, Bubba writes...Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me...
 
LOLOL, oh, LOLOL
 
Feo--the webbernets sayin your writins has got removed...what the heck you done did?
 
Oh, noes! WTH? :-(
 
No really Feo---"South is a magic n...." ??? --and don't hoistered on your morabund petard!
 
Does the good doctor have a little wine at night?

His fingers seem to be having trouble finding the letter keys.
 
I have no idea what he's trying to communicate.
 
?? I understood him, I think.

LBJ was a space alien. That tim he showed his "appendix scar"? That wadn't know appendix scar. That was the zipper on his human suit. Srsly. ... Lyndon was all effed up on the war, but he was dang near non earthly on Civil Rights stuff. Anyway, that's my take on what he meant. LBJ did wonders for black folk, law wise.

Bubba. Now, Bubba. He wadn't no more black, culturally, than a lot of other Southern white men. But Bubba became president. Bubba, then, was the first black president. ... I would'n't be surprised if he didn't even stroll along the down low ... in his young=Hot=Springs-borne-experimentin' with what it meant to love everbody the way Jesus said.
 
Boy, the crazy, hyperventilated attitudes all around me. There's a full moon out tonight, I can see it.
 
I'm breathin' easy, myself. Just free associatin'. :-)
 
Put a leash on it.
 
At approximately 11:24 am, on the 5th day of August, year of our Lord, 2009, you communicated via the medium of the keystroke onto the web-log domain of a one Erudite Redneck, under the heading/topic "What the fly on the Oval Office wall mighta heard before President Obama whacked it", and I quote like and thusly so:

"Dr. Loney's got you thinking the South is a magic n...."

My previous attempts of discovery as to the meaning of such have proven to be an exercise in futility, possibly a moribund inquiry. These draconian measures of avoidance employed by the responsible party of the aforementioned quotation have left the author of the present written discourse adrift in a sea of melancholy. Any overtures of reconciliation would be met with only grandiose gestures of gratitude.

Also, the cessation of the graphic descriptions of the density of hair follicles adjacent to the areola region (the darkened, circular, protuberances found on the upper torso of homo sapiens) would also garner immense appreciation and would likely impede any continued nausea/nausea symptoms. Said graphic descriptions can be found on the web-log of a one doclobojo, under the discussion of Glen Beck's habit of on-air areola explorations.

William Theophilus Loney, M.D.
 
Another bottle always set me straight, too.

Ah, now I got you.

I was implying that ER had stolen Obama's "magic negro" title and put it on Clinton for the success of the rescue because he preferred thinking a southern man could get it done rather than a man from the city of broad shoulders, the hog butcher, tool maker, stacker of wheat and player with the nations railroads, and a dusky man, at that.
 
LOL...Feodor said 'Get R Done'

Far as I know, we aint go no magic negroes...but theys a brown lady two criks overs what voo-doo dolled me into pokin a hornet nest with my walkin stick...but heck, I'sa probably did that sooner or later on my owns...and I's had it comin for bootleggin her WiFi...and her cable tv...and fer runnin that long extension chord from her garage to my house when I 'forgot' to pay fer my electriks...and they was that time I accidentily borrowed 2 jars from her shine shed...dang!! I hope she dont read Rudys blog, cause I never fessed up to that one
 
I shall now digress into professorial mode:
Now there's an interesting mis-appropriation of a title. "Magic Nigger" is now a slur that refers to the "Uppity White acting monied Blacks" such as Sammy Davis, Bill Cosby, Sidney Poitier in the past and now Will Smith, Obama etc..

But in the days before 1964(before LBJ), the Magic Nigger was a guy named John.
John Henry, Big Bad John (stolen by the whites again), but especially John of the stories of "John and Old Marster" where John the slave/servant/hired hand always gets one or two up on the the Ole Massa. John was always the signifier, the trickster, the Yorba monkey, the Black/Cherokee Ber Rabbit (Compair Lapin in Creole French) in his human form. I have always thought that the loss of the "John" stories was a detriment to the folk that made them.

Indeed for the past 40 years most of America's working class could have updated and used some them for effect. I used to work for Ole Massa myself.
 
Kinda thought that mighta been what F was referrin' to with "magic n" but I wadn't sure and I wadn't dare gonna touch it.

F, you read way more into this little dialog that I meant. It was just fer fun. It all formed up ih my mind startin' with, "Lemme go rescue them girls." The rest of it's just fillin'.

But-and, as usual, the thread's the thing! :-)

Speakin' of, the very first movie I ever saw in a theater was "Song of the South." Same for Dr. ER. Huh.
 
I wasn't really being serious with the first comment, that's why it was vague. I knew you weren't being serious either.

DrLBJ asked me to spell it out, and now it looks all mundane and boorish because the flippancy is gone.

Loney killed the allusiveness of the play, which is exactly the opposite of his usual.

Let's kill him. Kill Bill.
 
(lightin' some torches)
 
Wait, drlobojo, John Henry was Anansi?

huh. Who knew?
 
Sorry, Loney asked me to spell it out.

Too many Drs in the house what with Dr ER in the mix as well.
___________

Who of us knows the most famous person who also argues for keeping the stories around and studying them to glean subversive power to fight the Power?

The man who was so recently arrested in his own house.
 
Dang it, Feodor, if you didn't teach me a word: allusiveness.
 
And Alan will be Dr. soon, too, right?
 
Actually, allusiveness is probably not that elegant a noun.

Allusive is a good adjective.

I tend to turn a lot of adjectives into nouns. It's that part of me that GKS thinks is so Platonic and passé.
 
Not elegant. But useful. Sounds pedestrian, but it's not. I like it. I must nudge it along by getting it into print in the RW.
 
BTW, Feodor, I wish you and GKS would bury the hatchet. OTOH, we whacked at each other quite a bit, so that might be part of y'alls', um, matin' ritual, as it were, too. LOL
 
What hatchet? It's just pen knives right now.

Pretty soon, now, he's going to post a blog on how white men really can jump, have always jumped, jump all the time. And he'll have YouTube video to prove it.
 
I have to confess I got lost in Gate's Black-lit-crit text (took a long detour into Hurston) and have never actually finished the book. He never mentions the other animal tricksters, only the Monkey and treats an Orisha without the "god" like respect he should ought to use. A Greek would have never treated Hermes that way.
I do hold his point that Black literature can't be analysed in isolation as valuable.
Me, personally, when I hear "Monkey" my mind slips a cog and goes directly to the India/China tales versions and I have to redirect and slough off the others meanings before I can get back to the Yorba (Yoruba) one. I prefer the Rabbit persona. Next time you watch Bugs, see if you don't see the archetype there.

I've dug Gate's Signifin(g) Monkey out of a pile of partial-reads up stairs and moved it down by my easy chair. Two months ago I wouldn't have been able to recall the name of who wrote it. In honor of his current notoriety I'll attempt it again.
 
The easy chair. Where desiccated mice go to play.
 
"Figures in Black," most pertinently the last chapter, and "The New Negro" would finish out the series.

But I most value his re-presentation, and even brand new discoveries, of slave narratives.

The Bondwoman's Narrative is an extraordinary novel written by a slave woman in the 1850s and may be the first novel written by a black woman anywhere.

Gates uncovered it and then tracked down the writer's identity with a team of scholars: Hannah Crafts. Her story is itself remarkable.

(Gates, by the way, and not to feed you crackers with damaging information, is a bit of a ego centered prick. But just a prick and no more so than most other academic superstars.)
 
Hey, ER, I've got an idea. How about you post some more pictures of your man cave so we can see how it's coming along?
 
I just remembered seeing this this weekend and all of you have got to give it a try:

www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-july-28-2009/henry-louis-gate---race-card
 
It's a total wreck. Storm blew down our back fence in May, and for weeks poor Bailey the wonderdog lived in the sun-man-room. And it bein' so hot lately and the sun stayin' up so late, I haven't had cause to actually USE the sun-man-room. The used-to-be-grain room in our old milkbarn was cleaner.

The TTMNBN is still present, BTW, although in a wad. I can think of no more better place for it: the place where I imbibe all my vices.
 
Well, I mean when it's too cold or wet for imbibin' outside.
 
Daily Show. Allow me to stand way over here and LOL.
 
"a bit of a ego centered prick"

I just assumed that was the first requirement in the job description of a Harvard Professor. :)
 
"...is a bit of a ego centered prick..."

Harvard Faculty, goes without saying.
 
Alan, when will you be Dr. Alan?
 
I defend at the end of this month. So basically I'll be Dr. Alan then, but the actual degree won't be awarded until the official graduation in December. In the meantime I plan on buying and wearing my academic robes everywhere (work, home, beach, shower, etc.) and will require everyone to address me as "The Doctor" for at least the first 3 or 4 months.

I will be Alan, BS, MA, MS, PhD.

But, obviously, mostly bs. :)
 
Wow, imminent.

What are you defending?
 
I'll be defending my dissertation, titled:

I. Developing Methods for the Analysis of Chemistry Students' Inscriptions, II. Exploring the Regioselectivity of 1,3-Dipolar Cycloadditions of Münchnones, III. Stereochemical Investigations of C-H Activation Reactions Involving Germylene and Stannylene/Aryl Iodide Reagents

I'm in a dual degree program in Chemistry & Education, so my dissertation is 50% education research, 50% bench chemistry, and 90% perspiration.
 
Dang, Alan, I didn't you were so close! Good for you!
 
Thanks. It'll be good to be done.
 
Very nice, a chemist with values.

Congratulations.
 
Thanks. :)
 
I. Developing Methods for the Analysis of Chemistry Students' Inscriptions, II. Exploring the Regioselectivity of 1,3-Dipolar Cycloadditions of Münchnones, III. Stereochemical Investigations of C-H Activation Reactions Involving Germylene and Stannylene/Aryl Iodide Reagents

Mmmm...I don't remember any of that stuff when I got my doctorin papers from Mexico City Community College Medical School Online

Alan--better make sure that there school ain't one of them degree mills...I mean, you didn't say nothin bout how to put on them lil powdery gloves or how to ice down cankles that you just de-cankled...jus lookin out fer you
 
Silly Loney, Münchnones, man.

It's a culinary arts school.
 
It took me a while to convince a friend of mine that I wasn't researching those little guys with the red-pointy hats, ie. Munch-gnomes.

Munchnones, (can't seem to get the umlaut to work) BTW, in case anyone is interested (and I can't imagine why anyone would be) are named after Munich, where they were discovered. They were discovered shortly after another class of compounds, Sydnones, which were discovered in Sydney. Chemists are weird.
 
Say Alan, have you been watching "Breaking Bad" on AMC?
 
Windows umlaut etc. codes

http://tlt.its.psu.edu/suggestions/international/accents/codealt.html#accent
 
Re: Breaking bad, Nope, never heard of it.

Re: umlauts. I'm a Mac guy. :)
 
test: ü

Neato. Or rather, neatö :)
 
First - Congratulations, Alan. Actually, I read the Munchones (no umlauts!) as Munchausen - whic gives it a whole different meaning. . .

Second, I really don't get Feodor's dig at me. Seriously. Silly insults aren't that insulting. And Platonism isn't so much passe as it is a marvel of the human intellect, without any connection whatsoever to the way the world works.

Like current conservatism, only without the pitchfork-wielding mobs.

Oh, and Feodor, what is up, indeed, with taking down your blog?
 
Odd that GKS takes silliness for anything serious.

Silliness for silliness sake, I would think, would communicate quite well to GKS.
 
Who of us, including myself, ever spent time at my blog?

ER once promised a threesome with his wife, but that never materialized.

In fact, looking back, that was probably the turning point. I can't handle rejection.

So, why all the questions?

Does this make me more of a troll? You guys need to school me on blogging etiquette.
 
Uh ...


Yer no troll. Not here anyway.
 
But should one have a shingle?

And I've obviously never understood how one is a troll when blogs are open for public comment.

Who would be a troll here?
 
After lookin at the afternoon chatter, I went and had me an umlaut made with 2 eggs, hally-pener peppers and some wild mushyrooms:)

and I been seein trolls ridin on turkeys fer the last hour--man I loves mushyroom umlauts!!
 
LOL thanks for the leavenin', Dr, Bill.
 
I spent time at your blog, Feodor, but the posts were few and far between. That's all.

Folk rarely drop my my place. I keep it up, though. Self-indulgence. . .

Finally, no, you are not a troll. Trolls are those folks who bait and draw out other commenters. You keep the conversation moving forward. Personally, at my blog anyone is welcome to put any kind of comment; I really don't believe in the concept of "trolls" per se. Your presence, here and elsewhere, is nothing but a plus.
 
ER - no hatchets to be buried on my part. One can disagree without being, well, you know . . .
 
I'm usually stretched and challenged by GKS.

That's why I need a hatchet.

God forbid we ever meet and play board games.

But I wouldn't leave a conversation with him. Everybody else would leave us, but we'd still be there.
 
GKS and Feodor, you guys sure you weren't married and divorce in a previous life?

Alan: 'Breaking Bad' is about an AMC movie Channel series about a high school chemistry teacher.

Dr. Bill send me some pictures of those shrooms in that umlaut. I want to seek them out. We still have some woods in the far Southeast part of the State. I don't have any trouble seeing trolls in my yard but I would like to see some turkeys to shoot.
 
Didn't I say I wouldn't leave a conversation with him?

Does that sound like marriage to you?
 
Actually, that's kind of the definition of my marriage.
 
Mine too.
 
"Does that sound like marriage to you?"

Or codependency. ;)
 
Actually, it's two folks who enjoy the give and take and, I hope, don't take themselves so seriously that they let the disagreements get in the way. That's rare.

It's a good thing. Co-dependence is an illness, really. I don't "need" Feodor, but I look forward to his comments, here and elsewhere, every single day.
 
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