Friday, May 22, 2009


Furry Friday frippery!

From the writings of Bailey, he of the short-yellow doghouse!

8 a.m. - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 a.m. - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 a.m. - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 a.m. - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

Noon - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1 p.m. - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3 p.m. - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5 p.m. - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!

7 p.m. - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8 p.m. - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11 p.m. - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

From auxiliary kitty Eames's diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.  My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.  In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.

However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.  I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

(author, source unknown)

LOL! :-) Frappy Hiday, y'all!


Perfect! Should be offered for publication somewhere.
Probably has been! Woof! Will be glad to attribute if anybody knows the sourse! Meow!
I love it. Funny enough to be in the daily paper.
- Steve
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