Rev. Erudite Redneck, B.S., B.S., M.A., M.Div.

Erudite,

I dont know what type of doctorin this Dobson feller does, but I'm figurin he feels a might safer doin' with a iron slinger hung on his hip...and I think that gun club used to be headed up by that Planet for the Apes feller...so its right plain to see how abortionizing and gay marryin' and judges tie into all this...right?

Well actually, I could probably make a little more sense out of this after I have a lil' mushroomy pie.

WTL, MD
 

Call me ER. Please. I hate havin' to splain what eryoodight means.

That gun club lost a life member in one o' my friends, a Texas county agent, when they started rantin' agin' all gubment types and the gubment in general. They lost me from ever thinkin' about jinin' up, too.

'Sides, I already got my guns. :-)
 

ER,

I know what erudite means...hell, I was erudicatin' when erudicatin' wasn't cool. I'm 'bout the most erudified one on Loney Mountain. I gots a line 50 people deep ever morning at my door jus' to read their mail.

But after readin your webbernet stuff, I'm figurin you dont got no kinship to the Loney Valley Redneck Clan, as youra lot nicer feller than they be...so how 'bout can I call you Rudy, cause ER makes me think I'm shoutin' a superlative real loud at you(the courteosity in me is askin, while the jackassocity in me adoit anyway if'n even you say no).

And I aint needin no gun club or religafied doctor either tellin me what to think or who to vote fer...thats what wives is fer. As a matter for fact, Ima searchin' for the next ex-Ms. Loney right now, which is why I got me a haircut and shave. I'm thinkin the 5th time is the charm.

And unlike the gun club people, I aint too worried 'bout that big eared feller that got president, takin anybody's guns...after all, guns dont kill people, bullets do...and ol' man Perkin's emu's killed a prowler. So, bullets and emu's...and oh yeah, tornados...we had a bad one here on the mountain las year, killed Joe Meekers mama and his good plowin mule-a damn shame 'bout that mule...so bullets, emu's and tornados kill people...oh yeah, my brother, Phel Loney, his 2nd wife died by chokin on a quizno's toasty sandwich...so, bullets, emus, tornados and quiznos. Watch out for all this.....and bigfoot.(murderin bastard!)

WTL, MD
 

Oh, I wadn't suspectin' on *yer* airyoudiction, Loney -- just everbody else's.

Whups. There went Alan. I lose him sometimes when I slip inta my native die-lect! :-)

I reckon you can call me Rudy.
 

Well now Ruddy, why be surprised at the copacetic relationship amongst the NRA and FOTF. I would be much surprised if among the 30 million full-dipped Baptist church members if 2 or 3 million of them weren't NRA card carriers.

Close your eyes and remember the last fully fledged arbor revival meeting you attended. How many of those pickups parked outside had gun racks in them.

Why, back when, I even knew a couple of deacons who had parallel memberships in the Elks, The Masons, and the KKK, and one of them was a State Senator to boot.
 

I'm imagining too that this is a version of the whole Jesse Helms threatening Clinton thing: what they're really saying is Don't You Come Round Here.

Or: we bigots have guns too, y'know.

Yeah, we also-gun-ownin' non-bigots are well aware of that. As if we were ever given a chance to forget.
Other People's Children.
 

Dr. Bill, I almost spit coffee all over my laptop. Emus and tornados. . . That's funny right there, I don't care who you are.

Anyway, they couldn't pry the gun out of Jesus' cold dead hand, because he's alive again, right? The perfect spokesman.
 

I'm still with you, ER. Barely, but I'm here. I've found that if I read your comments out loud in a Foghorn Leghorn voice I'm better able to translate them into my native dialect. :)
 

Hoo man, that's great GKS!
 

Alan, THAT'S THE SECRET! LOLOL!

Or, when I'm rantin' -- Yosemite Sam.
 

I'm just reminded of the Simpson's quote,

Homer: "Bart! Stop talking like an 1890's prospector!"

Bart: "Consarn it."

Anyway, on the topic of the post, I assume that, now that pretty much everyone and their mother is saying that the GOP should ditch the FotF types in order to resurrect itself, this is just how the FotF types are planning to remain relevant. It may be the only way they'll get heard next time around. Dobson is going to storm the next Republican National Convention with a Bible in one hand and a gun in the other.

Sorta like a very prudish and prissy Johnny Cash.
 

WEll now, don't that jus take da cake? All you southern people just yakkin away like a bunch Oh Finns.

It's anuf too put a Minnes-oh-tah gal under da weather doncha know?

Yah, sure, you betcha.

The NRA lost me when I realized that they were running a huge con to get ordinary everyday people to give them free lobbying money to represent corporate interests.

Let the CEO's of the gun industry pay their own darn lobbiests, and use their own money to "donate" to politicians, I say.

Dr. Dobson and his ilk lost me when my parents used his book and parenting system to raise me.