Thursday, October 23, 2008
Haunted White House
The house was supposed to have been haunted by people who had been murdered there.
It got me to thinkin' about what kinds of ghosts the White House might really have. Here are some ideas.
Weeping Jackson -- an eternity of grief for Andrew Jackson, who executed the Trails of Tears.
Johnson's Inner Demons.
Carter's Malaise -- A "Dementors"-type monster (a la "Harry Potter") that sucks the hope out of all who come near.
Nixon's China -- A godless omnivore in coat and tails, a creature that pretends to be civilized but really is a dangerous monster. Since we mighta been better off just leaving China backward and closed off to the rest of the world.
Y'all go. How might the White House really be haunted?
Now that's a ghost story.
I'll try to keep with your style here:
Teddy Roosevelt's "Big Stick" clicking and clacking around like an extra special effect on "The Addams Family."
Hillary's "Vast Right-wing Conspiracy" emanating, like the phantasmagoric vapor from "The Fog," out from under certain White House desks.
Nancy Reagan's Astrologer: greeting you at the door like Shirley Maclaine at the Past Lives Pavilion in "Defending Your Life"
William H. Harrison's Inaugural "Cold Wind", blowing like the dead are near in "The Sixth Sense."
Buchanan's "Lame Duck", flapping around the Oval Office as the country splits in half.
(Who's buried in) Grant's Tomb!
It'd come and go from the shadows of the Ellipse.
Well, I guess it wouldn't be "headless" -- snort.
("Bad ER! Bad!")