Rev. Erudite Redneck, B.S., B.S., M.A., M.Div.

Pictured is the Church Key, Madison, Wis., from the Badger Herald -- www.badgerherald.com.
 

Community, camaraderie. Good booze (wine). The phrase "Jesus Christ" being tossed around.
 

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.

Wouldn't you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name,
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.

You wanna go where people know,
people are all the same,
You wanna go where everybody knows
your name.
 

Lyrics by Gary Portnoy, of course.
 

Portnoy's song being the theme song to the TV show, Cheers.

Here are some additional lyrics that didn't appear on the TV show but that I REALLY like...

Roll out of bed, Mr. Coffee's dead;
The morning's looking bright;
And your shrink ran off to Europe,
And didn't even write;
And your husband wants to be a girl;

Be glad there's one place in the world
Where everybody knows your name,
And they're always glad you came;
You want to go where people know,
People are all the same;
You want to go where everybody knows your name.

Where everybody knows your name,
And they're always glad you came;
Where everybody knows your name,
And they're always glad you came.
 

Welcome again, Ryan.

Dan: Bingo. ... I mean, yer right! Although I guess in some cases, bingo might be an answer to the question. :-)
 

Good tunes is another thing good bars and good churches have in common.
 

Sinners. A good bar and a good church knows it has sinners.
 

Advance apologies to GKS, but Brother Toby Keith nails what makes a good church in "I Love This Bar." (Except for the bouncer).


We got winners, we got losers
Chain smokers and boozers
And we got yuppies, we got bikers
We got thristy hitchhikers
And the girls next door dress up like movie stars ...

We got cowboys, we got truckers
Broken-hearted fools and suckers
And we got hustlers, we got fighters
Early birds and all-nighters
And the veterans talk about their battle scars ...

It's my kind of place
Just walkin' through the front door
Puts a big smile on my face
It ain't too far, come as you are ...

I've seen short skirts, we got high-techs
Blue-collar boys and rednecks
And we got lovers, lots of lookers
And I've even seen dancing girls and hookers ...

No cover charge, come as you are ...

We got divorcees and a big bouncer man ...

We got waitresses and we got barflies
A dumb-ass and a wise-guy ...
 

Good Churches and good bars: Come as you are!

Bad Churches and bars: You better dress up and fit in, or you are frozen out!
 

Ya know, I can truthfully say I have dressed up more to go to bars -- dancehalls, actually -- than I have to churches.

The church I grew up in was a come-as-you-are church, pretty much. And at the height of my dancehall days, I'd dress up -- as in best Wranglers, starched Brushpopper shirt, shined boots, and best hat. :-)
 

Comfortable seating!
 

You're obviously not talking about churches with wooden pews...
 

Good beer (One of our elders is a brewer. OK, that's only for church potlucks, does that count?)
Good bread (That same elder is a baker as well, communion is really a feast at our church.)
Nice port (The Episcopalians next door are snooty about their communion wine.)
Good company & good conversation
Laughter, hugs
Good music
Relaxed atmosphere
The occasional brawl. (just kidding. Actually I've never seen a fight at either a bar or a church.)
 

oops...and I might add, I'd pay to see a good brawl at a church. :)
 

Hey, when i was in high school, the local Assembly of God church had a womnan hollerin' in tongues and runnin' up and down the aisle, which was not terribly unusual, start takin' off her clothes, which was. Speakin' in tongues is one thing. Gettin' the Holy Ghost is another thing. Her gettin' naked in church was too much for 'em.
 

Really good bars have bartenders who care about the emotional and spiritual well-being of the paying customers, just like a good pastor would - without judgement of course.
Was a bartender for many years decades ago (in Canada and in Germany) and have had heart to hearts with African princes, Irish alcoholic loggers, atheist theologians, displaced American athletes, dart addicts, British nobility in exile, and my favorites: die-hard communists, who were convinced that the big communist take-over was at hand (planned for 1984, I think it was! Don't quote me on the year, it's been a long time...)
 

Overindulgence in either venue can lead to pointless strife.
 

Actually, I think the lyrics could be changed to "I love this church", if we were honest enough about who we really are. No apologies necessary as I happen to like that particular song, and played it a lot when I used to do bar gigs as a DJ. When various groups were mentioned, there was always a cheer, although few people cheered at "losers", and the place usually went wild at "boozers".
 

Church and Bars?
I have loved this song since I heard it for the first time, but I have to confess that I had to listen to it about a dozen times before I got into the multiple levels of meaning.

So long as you are putting out "bar" "Church" son lyrics try these by Lenord Cohen.

"Closing Time"

Ah we're drinking and we're dancing
and the band is really happening
and the Johnny Walker wisdom's running high
And my very sweet companion
she's the Angel of Compassion
she's rubbing half the world against her thigh
And every drinker every dancer
lifts a happy face to thank her
the fiddler fiddles something so sublime
all the women tear their blouses off
and the men they dance on the polka-dots
and it's partner found, it's partner lost
and it's hell to pay when the fiddler stops:
it's CLOSING TIME
Yeah the women tear their blouses off
and the men they dance on the polka-dots
and it's partner found, it's partner lost
and it's hell to pay when the fiddler stops:
it's CLOSING TIME

Ah we're lonely, we're romantic
and the cider's laced with acid
and the Holy Spirit's crying, "Where's the beef?"
And the moon is swimming naked
and the summer night is fragrant
with a mighty expectation of relief
So we struggle and we stagger
down the snakes and up the ladder
to the tower where the blessed hours chime
and I swear it happened just like this:
a sigh, a cry, a hungry kiss
the Gates of Love they budged an inch
I can't say much has happened since
but CLOSING TIME

I swear it happened just like this:
a sigh, a cry, a hungry kiss
the Gates of Love they budged an inch
I can't say much has happened since
CLOSING TIME

I loved you for your beauty
but that doesn't make a fool of me:
you were in it for your beauty too
and I loved you for your body
there's a voice that sounds like God to me
declaring, declaring, declaring that your body's really you
And I loved you when our love was blessed
and I love you now there's nothing left
but sorrow and a sense of overtime
and I missed you since the place got wrecked
And I just don't care what happens next
looks like freedom but it feels like death
it's something in between, I guess
it's CLOSING TIME

Yeah I missed you since the place got wrecked
By the winds of change and the weeds of sex
looks like freedom but it feels like death
it's something in between, I guess
it's CLOSING TIME

Yeah we're drinking and we're dancing
but there's nothing really happening
and the place is dead as Heaven on a Saturday night
And my very close companion
gets me fumbling gets me laughing
she's a hundred but she's wearing
something tight
and I lift my glass to the Awful Truth
which you can't reveal to the Ears of Youth
except to say it isn't worth a dime
And the whole damn place goes crazy twice
and it's once for the devil and once for Christ
but the Boss don't like these dizzy heights
we're busted in the blinding lights,
busted in the blinding lights
of CLOSING TIME

The whole damn place goes crazy twice
and it's once for the devil and once for Christ
but the Boss don't like these dizzy heights
we're busted in the blinding lights,
busted in the blinding lights
of CLOSING TIME

Oh the women tear their blouses off
and the men they dance on the polka-dots
It's CLOSING TIME
And it's partner found, it's partner lost
and it's hell to pay when the fiddler stops
It's CLOSING TIME
I swear it happened just like this:
a sigh, a cry, a hungry kiss
It's CLOSING TIME
The Gates of Love they budged an inch
I can't say much has happened since
But CLOSING TIME
I loved you when our love was blessed
I love you now there's nothing left
But CLOSING TIME
I miss you since the place got wrecked
By the winds of change and the weeds of sex.
 

The weeds of sex! Wow! I have got tangled up in weeds of sex, back in the day. Fricking cockleburs!

I need to hear that song.
 

So take a listen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrPEM2qc-j8