Monday, July 23, 2007
There's just no impressin' some womens
ER, on the patio last evening, sipping a Red Stripe and puffing on a cigar: "I can barely move."
Dr. ER, on the phone in San Francisco: "How come?"
ER: "Yesterday, I moved 4,000 pounds of top soil -- two tons -- into the back yard, one 40-pound bag at a time. It's 60 yards from the front of the house to where I needed the soil. Do the math: 100 trips, 60 yards, 40 pounds. Then, today, I spread it, tilled it by hand, fertilized it, then seeded bermudagrass. I'm pooped."
Dr. ER: "Why didn't you use a wheelbarrow?"
ER: "I don't have a wheelbarrow."
Dr. ER: "I thought you did."
ER: "No, I have a yard cart. Different thing. It distributes weight differently -- poorly, actually -- and would not have worked for this. It was easier to heave each bag up on my shoulder and march it back. Those African women who carry things on their heads know what they're doing. It was a lot of work. But not as strenuous as it might seem."
Dr. ER: "You don't have a wheelbarrow. You can't be a man and not own a wheelbarrow."
--ER
Dr. ER, on the phone in San Francisco: "How come?"
ER: "Yesterday, I moved 4,000 pounds of top soil -- two tons -- into the back yard, one 40-pound bag at a time. It's 60 yards from the front of the house to where I needed the soil. Do the math: 100 trips, 60 yards, 40 pounds. Then, today, I spread it, tilled it by hand, fertilized it, then seeded bermudagrass. I'm pooped."
Dr. ER: "Why didn't you use a wheelbarrow?"
ER: "I don't have a wheelbarrow."
Dr. ER: "I thought you did."
ER: "No, I have a yard cart. Different thing. It distributes weight differently -- poorly, actually -- and would not have worked for this. It was easier to heave each bag up on my shoulder and march it back. Those African women who carry things on their heads know what they're doing. It was a lot of work. But not as strenuous as it might seem."
Dr. ER: "You don't have a wheelbarrow. You can't be a man and not own a wheelbarrow."
--ER
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Not until you learn that Bermuda grass is two words, you. But hey, I do give you props for hauling that much of anything!
But now most of the work's done -- assuming the &^*%^$^ rains that hit this morning didn't wash it all away. And a wheelbarrow would be one more thign I'd have to move -- assuming I actually move (Sorry, I'm having one of my periodic fits of depression because there are no jobs in journalism to be had where I'm moving.)
Trixie: The paper where I worked in Tejas spelled it bermudagress as a matter of style. Old habits. :-)
Geoffrey: Do ya even have a yard cart? A hoe? Maybe you might could get to keep one of 'em. Ha.
I have everything but a damn wheelbarrow, including posthole diggers, shovels, hoes, tillers, manual edgers, rakes, loppers, shears, a spreader -- the works.
But noooooooooo, Dr. ER judges a man's manliness by a wheelbarrow! Fie. :-)
Trixie: The paper where I worked in Tejas spelled it bermudagress as a matter of style. Old habits. :-)
Geoffrey: Do ya even have a yard cart? A hoe? Maybe you might could get to keep one of 'em. Ha.
I have everything but a damn wheelbarrow, including posthole diggers, shovels, hoes, tillers, manual edgers, rakes, loppers, shears, a spreader -- the works.
But noooooooooo, Dr. ER judges a man's manliness by a wheelbarrow! Fie. :-)
A "Real Man" has three or four wheelbarrows, all of which are broken from being overloaded, none of which has ever been thrown away because you might need one of those parts some day, and by the way they are in increasing size one to another because that last one was too small cause it broke didn't it So why is it you don't have one that works? Well shit, one that big cost over a $150 and I won't buy one of those durn small ones cause they always break.
"Fie"?? I don't think a real man would say, "fie". At least not where I come from. ;)
Crystal
Crystal
# posted by 
: 1:18 AM
: 1:18 AM
Posthole diggers are great for planting tomatoes and anything else that needs to go deep but not so wide.
And an erudite redneck would, indeed, say, "Fie!" So, pbhtht.
And an erudite redneck would, indeed, say, "Fie!" So, pbhtht.
Hmm. Never thought of that. But then I was slave labor in the garden--pullin' weeds. :Þ
# posted by : 1:00 PM
: 1:00 PM
On a trip to the mountains of southeastern Oklahoma some years ago, I was stopped in a real backwoods gas station. A couple of characters were there with a wheelbarrow — I suspect they had just filled the tire (tar) with air (ar).
Anyway, Jethro and Billy Joe Bob stood there looking at their handiwork when "KA—BOOM!" the tar bloweded up like a bomb.
Jethro, scratching his chin, said "Billy Joe Bob! I told you you didn' know nothin' about mechanics!"
True story.
Anyway, Jethro and Billy Joe Bob stood there looking at their handiwork when "KA—BOOM!" the tar bloweded up like a bomb.
Jethro, scratching his chin, said "Billy Joe Bob! I told you you didn' know nothin' about mechanics!"
True story.
Hey, now! I'm pretty handy with tools -- anf fingery, and toey, army and leggy and anything else I can lop off, slice open or impale!
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