Sunday, June 10, 2007
Houseplan M-820: 'The Jesus'
A friend of mine is a home builder. He names his houseplans after books of the Bible.
I told him he should design a house with no bedrooms, and call it The Jesus -- since it would have no place to lay your head!(Matthew 8:20.)
He told me he thought about calling one The Exodus -- but he thought better of it since, he said, the whole point is to get people to go INTO the house.
I said, no! Call one The Exodus! Give it a walk-out basement!
Thanks. Thank you. I'll be here all week.
;-)
This is all in fun. Houses are on my mind, since I'm getting one ready to sell and getting ready to find another one. And as one of de branches, divine thoughts are never far from my mind and heart.
Help out! Name a house for a Bible book or character or event, and tell the design distinction that makes it fit its name.
Oh, before I leave the stage, here's another one:
A series of three, upscale to midscale to affordable: The Shadrach, The Meshach and The Abednego. They each got a hell of a furnace!
Thanks, thank you.
Wocka, wocka.
--ER
I told him he should design a house with no bedrooms, and call it The Jesus -- since it would have no place to lay your head!(Matthew 8:20.)
He told me he thought about calling one The Exodus -- but he thought better of it since, he said, the whole point is to get people to go INTO the house.
I said, no! Call one The Exodus! Give it a walk-out basement!
Thanks. Thank you. I'll be here all week.
;-)
This is all in fun. Houses are on my mind, since I'm getting one ready to sell and getting ready to find another one. And as one of de branches, divine thoughts are never far from my mind and heart.
Help out! Name a house for a Bible book or character or event, and tell the design distinction that makes it fit its name.
Oh, before I leave the stage, here's another one:
A series of three, upscale to midscale to affordable: The Shadrach, The Meshach and The Abednego. They each got a hell of a furnace!
Thanks, thank you.
Wocka, wocka.
--ER
Comments:
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Your extreme upscale would be the Jonah - three days to walk through. The McMansion from Hell, as it were.
Your standard mid-priced (what is that these days, $150,000-$200,000?) home would be the Mary, complete with central vacuum so that, no matter how long you come through the door, it is always clean (Lord, I hope that doesn't offend anyone!).
Finally, your "fiver-upper" would the Joshua. Walk around the walls and they fall down.
Your standard mid-priced (what is that these days, $150,000-$200,000?) home would be the Mary, complete with central vacuum so that, no matter how long you come through the door, it is always clean (Lord, I hope that doesn't offend anyone!).
Finally, your "fiver-upper" would the Joshua. Walk around the walls and they fall down.
Oh, you are BAD.
Oh, oh!
House with a beautiful flower garden, but it's behind a locked gate, 'cause it's for looks only.
The Eden.
Oh, oh!
House with a beautiful flower garden, but it's behind a locked gate, 'cause it's for looks only.
The Eden.
I think our friend should come nail your doors shut whilst you are inside. And then cut the phone and cable lines. (Psalm 139:5)
Personally, I'm shopping for a Psalm 39:7-9.
"But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you. Save me from all my transgressions; do not make me the scorn of fools."
I'm thinking that particular passage means it is very, very important to get a home inspection, don't you? LOL!
How about the "Martha and Mary?" That would be a welcoming home that offers hospitality in the best of all ways.
Luke 10:38-42
(Mary and Martha)
As they continued their travel, Jesus entered a village. A woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home. She had a sister, Mary, who sat before the Master, hanging on every word he said. But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen. Later, she stepped in, interrupting them. "Master, don't you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand."
The Master said, "Martha, dear Martha, you're fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it's the main course, and won't be taken from her."y
Personally, I'm shopping for a Psalm 39:7-9.
"But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you. Save me from all my transgressions; do not make me the scorn of fools."
I'm thinking that particular passage means it is very, very important to get a home inspection, don't you? LOL!
How about the "Martha and Mary?" That would be a welcoming home that offers hospitality in the best of all ways.
Luke 10:38-42
(Mary and Martha)
As they continued their travel, Jesus entered a village. A woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home. She had a sister, Mary, who sat before the Master, hanging on every word he said. But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen. Later, she stepped in, interrupting them. "Master, don't you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand."
The Master said, "Martha, dear Martha, you're fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it's the main course, and won't be taken from her."y
It would be nice to get a good dose of this, too:
Matthew 6:22-23 (The Message)
"Your eyes are windows into your body. If you open your eyes wide in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. If you pull the blinds on your windows, what a dark life you will have!
Matthew 6:22-23 (The Message)
"Your eyes are windows into your body. If you open your eyes wide in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. If you pull the blinds on your windows, what a dark life you will have!
House with an incredible media room with total surround sound and the biggest flat screen TV EVER:
The Revelation.
(Comes with optional dog run for The Beast).
My. Bad.
The Revelation.
(Comes with optional dog run for The Beast).
My. Bad.
House with a warranty that is null and void unless you believe every single word of it was personally written by the buildrr himself and is to be taken literally, especially references to "acts of God."
The Fundamentalist.
The Fundamentalist.
Game room with indoor trampoline (for jumpoing), sound-proofing in the walls (f ro shouting), and a UN-type translation system for guests (for unknown tongues!).
The Charismatic.
The Charismatic.
House with multiple bathrooms, not one with a shower. Only tubs!
The Baptist.
(I came back in from a ceegar outside just to add this one before I forgot!)
The Baptist.
(I came back in from a ceegar outside just to add this one before I forgot!)
LOL. No plan. The builder hands you a plan book and lets you make up your own design.
The Liberal Christian.
(OK, I don't think that's true, but lots of fundies do, and it's funny. Sue me.)
The Liberal Christian.
(OK, I don't think that's true, but lots of fundies do, and it's funny. Sue me.)
No splattered tomatoes yet?
Here's my ametuer attempt at contributing to this brilliant post:
"The Accord," where all of the Apostles gather.
Here's my ametuer attempt at contributing to this brilliant post:
"The Accord," where all of the Apostles gather.
Love that one!
Too many rules to this game. Besides, if I really came up with any names, I'd have to charge a consulting fee. And my rates are very, very high to offset the brain pain.
Too many rules to this game. Besides, if I really came up with any names, I'd have to charge a consulting fee. And my rates are very, very high to offset the brain pain.
The Golden Calf: Designed especially for placement on plots located directly over earthquake fault zones.
The Samson: A descriminating design for pillars of the community. You know the kind I mean. People with a lot of pull.
Those that have a taste for long hair music.
Those that have a taste for long hair music.
The Land Of Cannan: Actually a pre-built home that you will have to kill the current occupants of in order to live there.
40 Days and 40 Nights:A design perfect for the flood plains and especially for the rainforest and monsoon regions. Lowest per cubit cost of any like type design. Can be easily converted to "The Flood" floor plan configuration at little cost to owner. Zoologist and weathermen often prefer this design.
The Concubine: A petite one bedroom home designed for the man who needs to get away from the hussel and bussel of the family dwelling for short periods of time. A home that will embrace you and will really understand you and accept you for who you really are.
The Moses ... All your water fixtures are big rocks, and to get the H20 flowing you have to whack them with a walking stick ...
The Abraham ... You tell tell all your guests it's a really big open-air pizza oven, even though little Issaac refuses to go anywhere near it ...
The Satan: Not a house but an office complex, designed as the new headquarters of the Democratic National Committee.
: )
: )
I KNEW DoLobo Jo would rise to this occasion. The Concubine and the Land of Canaan: Bravo!
Nick: The David and Bathsheba was great.
The Satan: Bullshit and out of place.
Nick: The David and Bathsheba was great.
The Satan: Bullshit and out of place.
The John the Baptist: Leather wainscoting in a rustic dining room with one real amenity: a blood-proof silver set.
The Immaculate Conception: A house plan with the idea for a design that is easily cleaned and comes with 24 house maid service for both the man and woman of the home.
The Saul: A house plan for the owner who never meets the architect except in a vison. Comes with the brightest lights legally available. Can be converted to the Paul floor plan with additional lights added.
Enough see you next week.
Enough see you next week.
The Disciples: Has an extra, extra large dining room. (Those guys can't get together for a softball game without serving communion.) :-)
The Prodigal: With a kid's bedroom that can become a home office or study when a kid moves out but easily be changed back to a kid's room when he moves back home!
The Pharasee -- comes with a special handwashing basin in the dining room.
The Esther -- comes with a large, secret family room.
The Esther -- comes with a large, secret family room.
The Jezebel - comes with lightning rod and large, high windows. Several hundred prophets of Baal are optional.
# posted by 
: 8:03 PM
: 8:03 PM
The Ephesian - for the Godly man and military enthusiast. Centerpiece of the design is an armor room to keep one's helmet of salvation and breastplate of righteousness at the ready and on display.
# posted by : 8:27 PM
: 8:27 PM
The Song of Solomon:
Has a master bedroom with a heart-shaped bed! Lights that dim automatically, and automatic "make-out" music.
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Has a master bedroom with a heart-shaped bed! Lights that dim automatically, and automatic "make-out" music.
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