Wednesday, April 25, 2007

 

'**^$^&@#@!!!,' ... in Jesus's name

By The Erudite Redneck

When I was a young teen ER, somebody at church told me to think of the prayer tagline "in Jesus's name," as postage. Sort of a Christian version of Shakespeare, from Hamlet:

"My words fly up, my thoughts remain below; words without thoughts never to heaven go." (Hamlet, III, iii, 101-103)

In other words, I was taught that only Christians' prayers are heard, actually, only Christian prayers prayed in the right way -- which I now believe is bad doctrine, bad theology and bad form.

Now, I do still consciously pray in Jesus's name. Why? Because I am a Christian, and that's what Christians do. I also, though, have retained an odd habit that would sound terrible to anyone who heard what goes through my mind.

Let's say I cuss -- and Lord knows I do cuss. I've worked on quitting since fifth grade. Years and years ago, I got into the habit of following cussing by breathing a quick prayer:

"Lord, forgive me. In the name of the Lord Jesus, the Christ, I pray, Amen."

Yep. That's a lot of angsting over a damn or a s--t. Even for the more than occasional f---. So be it. It's my habit.

I've known odder habits.

A Pentecostal boss of mine used to say, "Whenever an evil thought pops into your head, just reach in there and grab it it and throw it back to the devil!" -- and he would literally reach up to his forehead and pretend to grab a thought out of his head and fling it away. A lot. It was a radio station, and he also used to lay hands on the audio board every day. That's OK. Whatever. His tradition, not mine.

But here's what really goes on in my head: "You f---ing moron!" I'll scream at traffic, or just think it -- and, in a hurry I'll gloss right over the prayer and segue directly into "in the name of the Lord Jesus, the Christ, I pray, Amen."

So what actually transpires in my mind is the following: "You f---ing moron! In the name of the Lord Jesus, the Christ, I pray, Amen."

"S--t! In the name of the Lord Jesus, the Christ, I pray, Amen."

"Damn it to hell! In the name of the Lord Jesus, the Christ, I pray, Amen."

"Son of a b----! In the name of the Lord Jesus, the Christ, I pray, Amen."

It's terrible, I know, which is why I am grateful every day for God's love and grace and obvious sense of humor.

This came to mind when I saw this cool poem by Alan Berecka in the current issue of The Christian Century. (Order Alan's chapbook here.) He picked up a similar kind of habit.


God's radio

In Religious Ed a nun once told us,
"You should always make the sign of the cross
before and after you pray. The first gesture
opens God's wavelength; the second shuts it off."

I wonder if the sister knew how many nights
I would lie in bed, panicked, wide awake
unable to remember if I had signaled
"Roger and out." Odds or evens -- heaven
or hell. I crossed myself without stopping,
hoping to land on evens or at least to interrupt
the feed before memories of Linda Ursoni's
blouse and her fully developed fifth grade breasts
bubbled forth from the back of my pubescent mind.

Even as an adult, I find myself playing
the same game, while hoping that someday
I might cross myself one last time and be done
with it, but the deep need to hide always follows --
in the name of the Father, and of the Son ...



How cool.

How about yourself? Any prayer-related pnemonics or other mind tricks lingering in your habits from childhood?

I *still* pray, "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray, Thee, Lord, my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray, Thee, Lord, my soul to take."

'Fess up. It's good for the soul. :-)

--ER

Comments:
As a Mormon (and we are Christian), I do believe there is a form to prayer. After all, that's what Jesus was teaching in Matthew 6 (the Lord's Prayer). He says as much in verse 9.

I do, however, believe that one's heart can be drawn out in prayer continually through the day. I express my gratitude and remorse in quick snippets, without a formal closing, quite often. Sometimes thinking it, sometimes saying it out loud.

Perhaps I should say a quickie when in traffic and I yell, "You dumb bunny!" No actual rabbits in sight, by the way. ;)
 
Why, "In Jesus' name."?
Why not, "In the name of God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit."?

Franklin Graham always ends his prayers with, In Jesus Name.
Where as Billy Graham, his dad, always ends his prayers with, In the Name of God.

My personal prayers are for forgiveness, understanding, strength, tolerance, and not to do harm to others.
 
ER, that's awfully funny.

I tend to say the Lords Prayer in Old English. Had to learn it for a class in college, and it just stuck.

I do try to remember to stick to the modern English version when reciting out loud in a group--have gotten some very odd looks on the occasions when I've forgotten.
 
U guess the thinking was:

God is distant. Jesus is not.

You get to God, thanks to Jesus -- that is, your prayers get delivered only if they have the Jesus Stamp(tm) on them -- that's the postage). And I guess ya get the Holy Ghost for free.

I *said* it was bad theology ... It's dang near polytheistic ... not that the concept of the Trinity ain't a mind-blower in the first place. ...
 
Kiki, ha!

I spent some time in Texas in the early '90S with Al-Anon, the 12-step groups for friends and family of alcoholics. That was the first place I'd ever been where the Lord's Prayer was recited regularly -- and they ended it with a Marines-like HOO-AH!

It took me quite awhile to overcome the impulse to end with "HOO-AH!" after the recitation of the Lord's Prayer at Mayflower!!! That'd be a real hoot.
 
John 16:23

23 And in that day ye shall ask me nothing. Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, he will give it you.
 
FF, there you go.

(U = I above, BTW; gotta learn to type ...)
 
Yes that is the verse upon which "In Jesus' Name" relies.

In context John 16:23 is not so simple a thought as that. check out 26 and 27 as well.

John:19
Jesus knew that they wanted to ask him, so he said to them, "Is this what you are asking yourselves, what I meant by saying, 'A little while and you will not see me, and again a little while and you will see me'? 20Truly, truly, I say to you, you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn into joy. 21When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. 22So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you. 23In that day you will ask nothing of me. Truly, truly, I say to you, whatever you ask of the Father in my name, he will give it to you. 24Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full. 25"I have said these things to you in figures of speech. The hour is coming when I will no longer speak to you in figures of speech but will tell you plainly about the Father. 26In that day you will ask in my name, and I do not say to you that I will ask the Father on your behalf; 27for the Father himself loves you, because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God. 28 I came from the Father and have come into the world, and now I am leaving the world and going to the Father."

The one unambiguous way Jesus said to pray was: "Our Father...etc."
 
Yes. In Scripture, Jesus mostly pointed to the Father -- rarely to himself. ... In Scripture. ...
 
I pray multiple times each day. Oftentimes, it's to thank God for the blessings in my life. But when I think I need it or think someone needs it, I pray.

Sometimes my spirituality is overcome by the anger or sadness or discontent in my life, and when I remind myself, I say a prayer of forgiveness.

There are times I pray subconsciously, and I think that's OK.
 
On my computer hard drive at work, I have Psalm 19:14, which we sang on Yom Kippur in church, printed on a strip of paper in Hebrew and taped up: "May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, o Lord, my strength and my redeemer." It reminds me to speak kindly and think good thoughts, and it's in Hebrew so that when I look at it I have to automatically translate it and think about it. I do so probably five or six times a day.
 
"Speak kindly" and "think good thoughts" -- if that ain't puttin' a fundamental faith into practice, I don't know what is. Very cool, SW.

Teditor. With Dr. ER away, I find myself prayin' out loud here in the house sometimes! Ice-T thinks I'm wack.
 
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