Monday, January 22, 2007


Sad, sad, sad, sad down in my heart, down in my heart, down in my heart, I'm sad, sad, sad, sad down in my heart, down in my heart today ...

Hey, I'm entitled to decompress a little. Can't shake it, so I'll ride it out.

... Mama's over there in her bed, wishing she could talk, I know. But she can't right now. No news is still good news with her. They'll test for staph probably in the next day or two, and they have to have three clean tests before they give an all-clear. Lungs are still a little soupy. Good news is she's getting some physical rehab again, limited though it is.

... Our house is a wreck. Just can't seem to find the time or energy to deal with it. The Christmassy tree is still up, and the Christmassy lights are still up outside, and that's starting to get depressing.

... Dr. ER is fixing to take a couple of trips out of town. That usually makes me sad.

... I was mean to Ice-T in the early-morning hours today and all he was doing was being a cat.

... I could not give a crap about anything to do with work today if I tried, and I am trying.

... The idea of working on my now 2-year-old thesis to turn it into a book seems impossible.

... I am taking the week off from my diety pills; today is the fourth day off from them, after two or three weeks of four-days-a-week on them; the hangover from them is mild depression.

... And I'm always down the week after I skip church, which is sort of a spiritual dialysis for me, and I missed two Sundays in a row, one because the ice storm canceled it and yesterday because I just didn't go.

In short, I am in a majorly sucky mood. :-(


I'm sorry you're having a crummy day. Does it make you feel any better that I still have Christmas stuff up? It really is depressing to keep looking at it. I'm workin' on that today, but I'm not sure I'll finish.

My advice (even though you didn't ask for it) is put the thesis on the back burner until you get the house taken care of. If it's 2yo already, what difference is a few more weeks going to make in the long run?

Ice-T will forgive you after snubbing you for a while. That's also just being a cat. ;)

Do as much work stuff as you can do on auto-pilot.

And remember, "joy cometh in the morning." Psalms 30:5
Man, am I pathetic or what??!!??

But it worked!

Mr. Big Big Sister had Big Big Sister call me, and Little Big Sister sent me an e-mail. :-)

And thanks, Frenzied. Aside from Tech and Trixie, who I know in the RW, I think you are my oldest -- or should I say, "longest-term" -- bloggy buddy!
Grace to you, my fellow okie and redneck.
Days like yours are why God gave us Rich Mullins -- even though for just a short time.

Hold Me Jesus

Rich Mullins
First Kings 19:3-13, Matthew 11:25-30

Well, sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

I'm singing hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Songs and copyright holders:
Hold Me Jesus: 1993 - Edward Grant, Inc.
LOL--thanks for changing that to "longest-term." ;)

I'm glad things are looking up as the day goes on. Bless those sisters and brother-in-law! :)
Wow! I just read about Rich Mullins. I'd never heard of him! His peaks were during my post-Gospel-deejay, non-church-going, pre-Katrina-inspired personal revival years. Why do the good die young???
And lucky me! I knew you both before you knew each other!

Everything is going to be OK, E.R., so just let yourself coast for a while. Some things will wait for you.
Awesome. 1 Kings 19:3-13:

3 Elijah was afraid [a] and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, 4 while he himself went a day's journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. "I have had enough, LORD," he said. "Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors." 5 Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep.
All at once an angel touched him and said, "Get up and eat." 6 He looked around, and there by his head was a cake of bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.

7 The angel of the LORD came back a second time and touched him and said, "Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you." 8 So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. 9 There he went into a cave and spent the night.

The LORD Appears to Elijah
And the word of the LORD came to him: "What are you doing here, Elijah?"
10 He replied, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too."

11 The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"
Re: Rich Mullins -- his cousin Reid is a KTOK D.J. and praise leader at a United Methodist church near me; Reid's dad, Dr. Travis Mullins, is the music minister and there are a couple of other family members involved in the music ministry in the same church. Rich had a tremendous gift that he shared for many years beyond his time on earth.
I really like those lines from 1 Kings. ... 'Cause it wasn't the roar of the hurricane and the floods that sent me to my face. It was the gentle voice in my ear and heart when I saw the people and the disrupted lives left behind -- and it said, "Love your neighbor."
I can't believe I never heard of this here Mullins feller. Sounds kind of Keith Greenish ...
Thanks, Kris! And thanks, Tracy!
Rich Mullins saved my life in the late 1990s. Your first two albums should be "The World As Best As I Remember It II" and "Songs." Not Songs II. Just Songs.

My favorite song is "Let Mercy Lead." Let love be the strength in your legs...with every footstep that you take you'll leave a drop of grace...

This seems like a likely place for Rich Mullins-esque folks to hang out. ;)
Dr. says:
Go home. Take three shots of Dickels. Get 8-10 hours sleep. Eat a steak for breakfast.
Yor Mamma would whup you, if she knew how badly you are treating yourself.
That's my perscription!
I like Doc's prescription. He's a doctor. He should know. I might suggest a shot and a beer, then more shots, but that's me.

You took a good step in getting your emotions out. Too many folks don't, and that's when funks become more than funks.
This must be why I can't get you
off my mind today. I made out a
card to send to you and Dr ER.

Ol buddy tears and prayers for
you. :-(
thanks, jd.
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