Rev. Erudite Redneck, B.S., B.S., M.A., M.Div.

I hope you had a free pass.
 

By the way, did you catch "scorpions on a plane" on the Sci-Fi Channel last Sturday night?
 

ER called the move "Snakes on a Plane" a fun flick. "Good actin'. Good directin'. Good dialogue."

Hmmmm ... with credentials like that, it looks to be a movie I'll save a lot of money on, since I WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER WATCH IT.

"I don't like spiders and snakes, and that ain't what it takes to love me."

And ER callin' it good sends me a direct message: "Teditor, go see 'Barnyard' or something such."

:-)
 

Nope and nope.

Dr. ER was otherwise engaged. Dang near had the theater to myself for the neighborhood house's 4:25 p.m. showing.

The dang snakes only surprised me to the point of jumping two or three times. I only ducked my eyes a couple of times, mainly for pus close-ups.

Hadn't seen a real, new horror flick since back int he day when I was seein' 'em with a carload at the drive-in theater in Fort Smith.

Dr. ER let me talk about about a full 10 minutes, then shut me up. Since she dislikes snakes and has to fly.

Myself, I am merely appropriately disturbed by snakes, and nothing can make flying more disturbing for me.

It was a hoot. I laughed out loud about a dozen times -- which, to me, is the best signs of a good horror flick. :-)
 

Teditor: Here' ssome scopp, pardon the pun, on "Barnyard."

The reviewer for the local paper pointed that all the bovines int he flick have udders. Al of 'em. Even the males.

I'd never be able to wathc it without gettin' miffed about that. I'll catch it on cable. :-)
 

Re: Barnyard. Well, yeah. When you see the commercial and the "father cow" is telling his "son" not to walk on two legs and he's standing up shaking his "milk bag," that's when I had to remind myself it's only a cartoon.

I won't be seeing Snakes on a Plane but I will be grateful for a long time for the new national catch phrase: "Snakes on a plane!" It's almost as good as "Great Caeser's ghost!"
 

OK, truth: I done seen Barynard. Took the 4-year-old.

Don't take a 4-year-old. She had nightmares about the damn coyotes for two days.

Truthfully, the love of my life and I are having a tough time getting over the udder mess. Not quite sure why bulls and steers and such have udders, but it's better than taliwhackers, I guess.

The idea of the movie is good, and good for 4-year-olds. Those damn coyotes killin' a bull with udders remains disturbin' for said youth. Bulls, in her rodeo-livin' mind, buck off cowboys and chase bullfighters. They don't get killed by freakin' dogs.

Maybe I'm given ya too much information about the movie.

All in all, though, the love of my life and I enjoyed it.

NICK: "Will Farrellaphobia." I just woke up the love of my life laughing out loud. That's funny. "Talladega Nights" scares me because I don't care for two important ingredients in the movie: 1) Auto racing in any sort; 2) Will Farrell in a leading roll.

But Will Farrellaphobia is damn funny.
 

Love it love it love it.


Spoiler alert to those who haven't seen BARNYARD.



We decry the ignorance of our children. We cUrse our poor school systems. We lament their lack of Math skills, and Science knowledge.

Then we show our kids DVDs of ANTZ where insects have four legs and movies such as Banrnyard where males of the bovine species are called "cows" and have udders that look like a diaphram with four condomns sticking out of it.
Bring back "Ren and Stimpy" who's deformaties and behaviors were understood to be "un-natural".
Bring back sexual ambiguouness rather than show a family of transexual cow/bulls. And as for the pregnant cow in the movie that latter gives birth, I can't help wonder which of the four udder appendages of the male/cows is used to inseminate such (female)cows in this cartoon universe?
Next time you feel compelled to curse our education system conjure on insects with four legs and bulls with tits and consider the impact of such on your child's abilities in Science, Math, and Biology (not to mention 4H and the FFA). Then call your Congressman(woman)and let them know that Hollywood is the deamon for sure.

I love it, oh yes I do.
 

Nick, the guys in your office who are afraid of snakes will crap their pants at Snakes on a Plane.

And they probably will see blasphemy in the Will-prays-to-the-8-pound-6-ounce-baby-Jesus sequence. That even made *me* a little skittish.

(Contrary to the accusation that the movie makes fun of "Southerners who say grace," to me it made fun of "Southerners who pray stupid, floweredy prayers 'to be heard' rather than say a simple prayer of thanks).

See www.movieguide.org for an over-the-top review of Talladega Nights by a fundy freakazoid.
 

Check out:

http://www.snakesonablog.com

!!!
 

Well, the www.movieguide.org dude went OFF on it on TV.
 

For what it's worth, it doesn't look like he much cared for "Snakes" either, for the following reasons, the last of which cracked me up (spoiler alert!):


Strong moral worldview about putting criminal in jail, testifying against murderer and gang leader, and heroically saving passengers threatened by snakes on a plane with some positive American content about the FBI and a positive but minor Christian character, mitigated by strongly depicted immoral, pagan behavior by some passengers on the plane that’s in danger; 52 obscenities (including many “f” words), eight strong profanities, 10 exclamatory profanities, urine shown streaming into toilet bowl with snake crawling inside, and some other scatological humor; very strong scary and action violence with blood includes snake bites woman’s naked breast, implied snake bite on man’s penis and camera reverses viewpoint to show man grasping snake’s head on his crotch, snake bites woman in the eye, snakes bite arms and necks and faces and other parts of people’s bodies, man impaled, body sucked out of plane, large snake constricts man and starts swallowing his head, people chop or stab snakes, man bitten by snakes in airplane lavatory smashes the back of his skull against the wall as he convulses during snake attacks, gruesome snake bites and swollen dead bodies from snake bites, man tasers snakes, man’s shoots a couple snakes, people bat snakes away with luggage and laptops, snakes threaten baby, dog and two young boys, poisonous snake crawls into woman’s clothes, snakebite on boy’s swollen arm cut open and venom oozes out before woman sucks out the poison, implied murder of prosecutor with baseball that includes some blood splattering on killer, etc.; depicted fornication and sexuality in lavatory between one couple with nudity, some crude sexual comments, passionate kissing, co-pilot makes light sexual comments about female flight attendants, and effeminate male flight attendant has hot and sexy girlfriend; shots of upper female nudity including shot of snake biting woman’s naked breast, some female cleavage and some upper male nudity; alcohol use; smoking and couple smokes marijuana; and, lying and a couple plane passengers are rude to other passengers.
 

Pishtaw. I, myself, would not have enjoyed the upper female noodlety near as much had I been alerted to it! :-)
 

I wonder can we somehow tie snakes on a plane to the serpent in the garden? Any of yall hear a sermon on it, let us know.
 

"Clearance racks – the bane of my shopping existence."

Find it at teditor.blogspot.com.