Friday, December 09, 2005
Plunging and heaving
Went to a formal holiday function tonight in the line of duty.
There were at least a half-dozen false pairs in the bunch. I swear, they should just hang signs around their necks with a couple of arrows pointin' 'em out.
First glance, ya think: "Hey!"
Second glance, ya think: "Honey, you shouldn'ta gone and done that."
Third glance, if ya dare: They pretend to blush, or act offended.
And you're caught! Because it takes a triple-take to even mentally process some of 'em, they're ... so ... gauche(?) (I think that is the right word.)
It's as jarring and odd as if I'd stuck a pair of socks in the front of my britches, and pretended I didn't want anybody to notice. What. Ev. Er. It is, of course, a free country.
At least, I presume, you didn't go up and try to honk the hooters.
Did you say that you went to dinner with a bunch of fake, phoney
boobs in the line of duty?
I can relate. There are a few of those where I work, too...
I feel your pain!
As a whitetrash philosopher I have alway considered that any woman that would fake those would fake more important things......like.... well her love for you.
Point of history, when I was a youth fake boobs could be taken off at night.
Point of taste, The meat closet to the bone is the sweetest, but I do like to chew the fat.
I went to a Renaissance Fair recently.
Corsets and bodices and bustiers, oh my!
I get the feeling that I'm going to be seeing a lot of the plungers and heavers on the trophy wives, and worse yet-facelift disasters that leave the ladies looking like mummies; their faces contorting in all manner of directions as they try to order from me.
The whole time, I'm gonna be standing there thinking of this post.
"Hey there! Y'all here for the Farm Show?!?"
ER and cohort:
"Why, yes. Yes, we are."
Oops! I prolly just offended Goat's delicate sensibilities!
A woman's beauty IS, indeed, personal, sacred and holy. But we're talking about WOMEN, and vain ones at that. More along the lines of the "strange women" we're warned to avoid in Proverbs.