Sunday, November 13, 2005
"Stainless Banner"
Photo by The Erudite Redneck
The "Stainless Banner" was the second national flag of the Confederate States of America.
My friend who had the house-warmin' party Saturday night had every flag that ever flew over the CSA lighted and flyin' proudly along the long country driveway to his country home.
His country home is in eastern Oklahoma, in a part of the old Cherokee Nation that was particularly strong for the Confederacy. Cherokee boys from these parts made up the famous Confederate Cherokee Braves in an area later peopled further by white folks who came west from other parts of the South.
What a shindig.
"If you've ever been to a party that was catered, and the caterers brought chicken gizzards (and ribs and chicken wings and tater salad and beans and tea) ... (I had never, ever seen so many dang gizzards at one time; it was a sight to behold) ...
"If you've ever been to a party where somebody thought it entirely appropriate to go back home and get their pet 'possum and bring it back and put it on the coffee table for all to enjoy ...
"If you've been to a party where a bunch of men stood around drinkin' cheap-ass beer and smokin' $5 cigars ...
"If you've ever been to a party where everybody took turns sippin' from a big bottle of Southern Comfort, includin' the band and their groupies from a nearby junior college ...
"If you've ever been to a party where a good half-dozen of the females of said groupies, numbering some 30 or so in all, burst forth in an impromptu wet T-shirt contest (after I had left, damnitdamnitdamnitalltohell) ...
"If you've ever been to a party where a rank stranger got so torn down (heck, he probably showed up that way -- nobody knew him -- he very likely was drawn out of one of the trailer houses in the woods by the sounds of "Copperhead Road" blaring from the well-amplified band and the smell of gizzards waftin' on the breeze), that, after he went limp as a dish rag, drunker'n Cooter Brown, he was placed carefully into the back of a pickup truck and hauled carefully and deposited carefully on the stoop of a country church 3 or 4 miles away, and then the next morning at 9:45 a.m. you saw him stretched out and sleepin' in the ditch along the highway about 2 miles away from said church ...
"Then you might be a redneck."
And you might've been with a whole bunch of other redneck boys and girls Saturday night.
And the guy who put on the party is our king.
--ER
"If
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Hold on there, Tug. He has yet to make any sort of comment on the other exchange, so I'm not sure he really survived.
Clarifications:
The rank stranger kept messing with the band, as they were playing, and he kept stumbling into people and seemed to be trying to start fights (although nobody was sure exactly, 'cause he was w-a-s-t-e-d).
The rank stranger grew limp only after being carefully placed in the back of the pickup truck, havin' realized, I guess, at that point that the game was up.
My own personal rusty bouncing skills were limited to the following:
On his last-ditch effort to get past the cordon of guys who were trying to block him from going, again, to mess with the band, I stepped in front of him and administered a 6-foot-4, 285-pound, no-hands, full body block (that is, I walked in front of him and stood there), which caused him to ricochet and fall sprawling into the mud. He then was immediately and carefully dispatched to the pickup truck.
Carry on.
--ER
The rank stranger kept messing with the band, as they were playing, and he kept stumbling into people and seemed to be trying to start fights (although nobody was sure exactly, 'cause he was w-a-s-t-e-d).
The rank stranger grew limp only after being carefully placed in the back of the pickup truck, havin' realized, I guess, at that point that the game was up.
My own personal rusty bouncing skills were limited to the following:
On his last-ditch effort to get past the cordon of guys who were trying to block him from going, again, to mess with the band, I stepped in front of him and administered a 6-foot-4, 285-pound, no-hands, full body block (that is, I walked in front of him and stood there), which caused him to ricochet and fall sprawling into the mud. He then was immediately and carefully dispatched to the pickup truck.
Carry on.
--ER
Tug, you'da so fit right in!
Said housewarming friend is a lifeong Dem, but is as conservative as yerself. More so in some ways. It's the populist in him, I think, that keeps him a Dem. He is my real-world jabbin' partner.
--ER
Said housewarming friend is a lifeong Dem, but is as conservative as yerself. More so in some ways. It's the populist in him, I think, that keeps him a Dem. He is my real-world jabbin' partner.
--ER
Nope, Tug, his life is blogfree. And he only lurks around here once in awhile. ... Can't say as I blame him. His blood pressure prolly couldn't stand it when I get on an unconservative roll.
And I have answered POTUS Teditor on the previous post. ... Unless there is something specifical I missed in the avalanche of commnets. ... ?
--ER
And I have answered POTUS Teditor on the previous post. ... Unless there is something specifical I missed in the avalanche of commnets. ... ?
--ER
Oh, man! And this get-together came on the same day as Oklahoma State upset No. 13 Texas Tech!
What a game! I listened to the last few munutes of it on my truck radio, scootin' around the parking lot of a strip center in Fort Smith, Ark., trying to keep the signal from an Oklahoma station too far off to receive worth a dang.
But, MAJOR good news for a team that needed it way bad!
Bird and I were totally tickled. (Dr. ER, too, although she tends to be a fair-weather fan, and there's been some mighty dark clouds over OSU football all season.)
--ER
What a game! I listened to the last few munutes of it on my truck radio, scootin' around the parking lot of a strip center in Fort Smith, Ark., trying to keep the signal from an Oklahoma station too far off to receive worth a dang.
But, MAJOR good news for a team that needed it way bad!
Bird and I were totally tickled. (Dr. ER, too, although she tends to be a fair-weather fan, and there's been some mighty dark clouds over OSU football all season.)
--ER
What're commnets? :-)
Yep, we had a blast on the previous log, my friend. I was outta town the past couple a days, but I sure enjoyed reading the 50-plus messages that had been posted since I began my hiatus.
Ya got good www.friends.com, ER.
Yep, we had a blast on the previous log, my friend. I was outta town the past couple a days, but I sure enjoyed reading the 50-plus messages that had been posted since I began my hiatus.
Ya got good www.friends.com, ER.
Yepper. :-) Indeed.
BTW, Teditor, I know its an occupational hAzard fer ya, but you can't keep yer dadgum ribbin' about my typos to a minium, 'cause this here is the only placew in my life where I don't have to self-edit! :-) ... Pluas, you know I can't type.
--ER
BTW, Teditor, I know its an occupational hAzard fer ya, but you can't keep yer dadgum ribbin' about my typos to a minium, 'cause this here is the only placew in my life where I don't have to self-edit! :-) ... Pluas, you know I can't type.
--ER
That second to last post, then the follow-up speaks fer itself. You're still one of the funniest people I know.
ER when you go Confederate on me, my eyes glaze over.
I've got family graves and monuments to the dead from both sides and family farms that were tromped on at Gettysburg and in the Shannandoha by both sides. I don't quite see the need to glorify the Cavalier Southern Gentelmen's world when so damn few of them actually died for their own cause.
You refered to your friend as a Populist, well the Southern elite were just as responsible for the rise of Populism as were the Northern elite.
The Populist, Southern or Northern, Eastern or Western, realized that they had fought the civil war for the Elite and that the Elite were rewarding them with more repression and thievery.
We could use a good dose of Populism today.
I've got family graves and monuments to the dead from both sides and family farms that were tromped on at Gettysburg and in the Shannandoha by both sides. I don't quite see the need to glorify the Cavalier Southern Gentelmen's world when so damn few of them actually died for their own cause.
You refered to your friend as a Populist, well the Southern elite were just as responsible for the rise of Populism as were the Northern elite.
The Populist, Southern or Northern, Eastern or Western, realized that they had fought the civil war for the Elite and that the Elite were rewarding them with more repression and thievery.
We could use a good dose of Populism today.
# posted by 
: 8:34 AM
: 8:34 AM
That sounds like one heck of a shindig! I'm not sure I've ever been party to such a thing (we don't have many possums out in the Panhandle). But I was at a fancy wedding in the mountains of Arkansas where the groom's family brought moonshine. We drank it out of a clear mason jar. It was moon-shiney!
# posted by : 8:57 AM
: 8:57 AM
All I know is Great-Grandpa ER didn't own shit, and fought honorably in defense of the sovereign state of Arkansas. I do not read history backwards, from 1865-1861. I read it the way it played out.
He died at 90, in 1930. Had diarrhea and post-war "nerviousness" for 65 years. That is enough right there for me to honor him. At least I will not do him dishonor of evaluating his service through the lens of "presentitis."
Oh, I also have a Union soldier in my line, from southern Indiana; he made it to a camp in Kentucky that never engaged, since they all like to died from dysentery and such, then was released. He was in his 40s. He previously served in the war with Mexico.
--ER
--ER
He died at 90, in 1930. Had diarrhea and post-war "nerviousness" for 65 years. That is enough right there for me to honor him. At least I will not do him dishonor of evaluating his service through the lens of "presentitis."
Oh, I also have a Union soldier in my line, from southern Indiana; he made it to a camp in Kentucky that never engaged, since they all like to died from dysentery and such, then was released. He was in his 40s. He previously served in the war with Mexico.
--ER
--ER
Braingirl, last time I was at a weddin' in the Arkansas Ozarks, it was a toss-up as to whether there were more Pentecostals there or bikers -- and there was quite a bit of overlap between the two.
Pentecostal bikers rock.
--ER
Pentecostal bikers rock.
--ER
Hear we go again. drlobojo wants a check for something that happened over a hundred years ago. Hell Oklahoma is fixin to raise taxes to pay family members of a fire in 1921 just to make them shut the hell up. It would be worth every damn penny if they WOULD shut up, but they'll just go on whinning.
Damn losers!
Damn losers!
# posted by : 10:42 AM
: 10:42 AM
Hey Anon-- here a story for you:
An Indiana farm wife called the local phone company to report her
telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady.
He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and
dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the
dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole,
the telephone repairman found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.
4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone
to ring
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.
An Indiana farm wife called the local phone company to report her
telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady.
He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and
dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the
dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole,
the telephone repairman found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.
4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone
to ring
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.
# posted by : 10:53 AM
: 10:53 AM
ER said,
"Oh, I also have a Union soldier in my line, from southern Indiana; he made it to a camp in Kentucky that never engaged, since they all like to died from dysentery and such, then was released. He was in his 40s. He previously served in the war with Mexico."
So my question is have you joined the Son's of the Union?
"Oh, I also have a Union soldier in my line, from southern Indiana; he made it to a camp in Kentucky that never engaged, since they all like to died from dysentery and such, then was released. He was in his 40s. He previously served in the war with Mexico."
So my question is have you joined the Son's of the Union?
# posted by : 10:58 AM
: 10:58 AM
I'm a Union member and a Son of a Bitch. So does that make me a Son's of the Union member?
# posted by : 11:14 AM
: 11:14 AM
Anon said:
"Hell Oklahoma is fixin to raise taxes to pay family members of a fire in 1921 just to make them shut the hell up. It would be worth every damn penny if they WOULD shut up, but they'll just go on whinning.
Damn losers! "
Q: Are you talking about the Tulsa Race Riots?
"Hell Oklahoma is fixin to raise taxes to pay family members of a fire in 1921 just to make them shut the hell up. It would be worth every damn penny if they WOULD shut up, but they'll just go on whinning.
Damn losers! "
Q: Are you talking about the Tulsa Race Riots?
# posted by : 11:49 AM
: 11:49 AM
I started out to jine up with the Sons of Union Soldiers, or whatever it's called, as well as the much smaller Descendents of Mexican War Veterans, as well as First Families of the Twin Territories. Then I got totally sidetracked by the master's and now I'm on the verge of disowning the Sons of Confederate Veterans because it's been taken over by neo-seseshes. So, I don't see what the point would be of jining any of 'em now.
--ER
--ER
Holyy crapplemighty! I just corrected it, but nobody caught my goof on the name of the Steve Earle song. It's "Copperhead Road," not "Cottonwood Road"!
Cottonwood Road is the first section-line road east of Mama ER's place.
Sheesh.
--E
Cottonwood Road is the first section-line road east of Mama ER's place.
Sheesh.
--E
You know, my friend look at me like I'm the spawn of de Debbil for eating chicken hearts and livers the way I do. But gizzards? I can't swing with you, man.
The girl from South Carolina I used to date was always, eternally pissed that her state legislature was so adamant about the use of the battle flag, specifically, of the Confederacy. She always said that the use of the actual flag flag would have been an appeal to tradition, but the battle flag just stirred up bad feelings.
Your comment?
The girl from South Carolina I used to date was always, eternally pissed that her state legislature was so adamant about the use of the battle flag, specifically, of the Confederacy. She always said that the use of the actual flag flag would have been an appeal to tradition, but the battle flag just stirred up bad feelings.
Your comment?
I would say that since about 1964-65, that would be right. Overt 20th-centiry racists all but took over the battle flag.
--E(R)
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--E(R)
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