Rev. Erudite Redneck, B.S., B.S., M.A., M.Div.

General Lee speakin' ...


Source for photo

By The Erudite Redneck

Would you look at this gorgeous hunk of muscle car? I am not kiddin' when I say I went to ogle that vehicle as much as to admire Jessica Simpson's own chassis.

It shouldn't surprise anyone that "the critics" are panning "The Dukes of Hazzard." Most professional "critics" either know nothing of the subculture that was attracted to the original series, or its modern remnants and latter-day disciples, who will quietly, given a little time, probably make this flick a surprise success.

It's the same cohort of the population that kept CBS producing the likes of "The Beverly Hillbillies," "Green Acres" and such, before the Big Eye was blinded by urbanized TV execs having their heads so far up their asses they could no longer see.

The specific substrata of American human bean I'm talkin' about is the generally Southern (but not always) bunch that can laugh at itself. They are either in the country, from the country, or one generation removed -- and damn ANYbody who is not one of us, who laughs AT us.

Call us rural. Call us country. Call us redneck. But don't call us stupid. Some of us are right smart.

Random redneck observations:

Jessica Simpson is a total, total babe.

Jessica Simpson is as hot as a firecracker and as sweet as sweet tea. Nobody is saying she will win any awards for serious acting. But she can accurately depict the somewhat caricaturized role called for in this flick, and she can convincingly deliver the lines you would expect such a character to say. That's "acting." So all y'all squallin' and hollerin' about how she cain't act, y'all just hush yo mouths.

Jessica Simpson is a total, total babe.

Sadly, they used up nother 23 '69 Dodge Chargers in the filming of this movie -- this is on top of the some 300 destroyed in the making of the series back in the day. I think it was damn near worth it. Modern cinematography and, I imagine, smaller and more versatile video cameras gave viewers vantage points for the chases that the '70s-'80s series directors could only dream of.

Jessica Simpson is a total, total babe.

Willie Nelson was made for his role as Uncle Jesse. There is one scene that plays off his well-known proclivity for a certain herb, and I swear he had to have been stoned when they filmed it. Not that I've ever seen the effects of marijuana up close. Ahem. He also randomly shouts silly jokes, about half of which are funny. And this one, which is great: "Know why divorce is so expensive? ... 'Cause IT'S WORTH IT!" I love it.

Jessica Simpson is a total, total babe.

Burt Reynolds should not have been led in from the pasture for this. He's through. He's done. Just throw him some oats every mornin' and make sure his trough has water in it and leave him alone. One critic said Danny Davito(sp?) is perhaps the only actor who might could've done the character of Boss Hogg justice. I agree. In any case, Burt Reynolds' depiction was lame, his character almost pathetically wan.

Jessica Simpson is a total, total babe.

Lots of flaming crossbow action, some tossing of full moonshine jars as Molatov cocktails, a fair amount of general mayhem -- which made me think, even amid the revelry in the THEEayter: Dubya should have never declared war on "terrorism." Because the tools and acts so described are only terrorism in the hands of our enemies. Suicide bombers excepted. Next time the cause of justice requires fiery crossbows, homemade bombs made out of flammable liquids, and makeshift plastic explosives, we are gonna wish the president had just declared war on our enemies and left it at that.

Jessica Simpson is a total, total babe.

Gratuitous pseudo "blackface" scene is balanced by gratuitous pseudo "hate-whity" scenes.

Jessica Simpson is a total, total babe.

Small roles by Barry Corbin, Joe Don Baker and A.J. Foyt IV were pleasant surprises.

Did I mention that Jessica Simpson is a total, total babe? Two or three times when she appeared -- on the 70-by-30-foot screen, the largest in Oklahoma -- many of the men in the audience involuntarily sighed, "ohhh." I kid you not. Fair amount of laughter in the seats, too. Not constant. But enough, I'll bet, to satisfy most.

"The Dukes of Hazzard" is a fun, fun flick. And I will go see it at the THEEayter at least one more time. That car. That girl. The silliness of it all -- the throwback feel of it. Made me smile and laugh out loud.

Note that I did not mention plot. Plot is NOT the reason people will like this film. It's all characters. And that car. And a bunch of one-liners. And that's why the professional critics didn't get it.

END