Tuesday, March 01, 2005
690-word Erudite Redneck book review and commentary -- "Motherhood & Hollywood," by Patricia Heaton
By the Erudite Redneck
Once in a blue moon, ol’ ER strays from the hardback nonfiction history-politics-public affairs wagon train and stumbles headlong into the verdant meadows of touchy-feely soft-cover celebrity autobiography.
Lessee, I think it all started with Johnny Cash’s “Man in Black,” picked up at a Baptist church camp in the piney woods of Little Dixie, southeast Oklahoma. Ol’ Johnny’s witness for the Gospel and the frailties of human life just keeps rollin’ on.
Then, “Coal Miner’s Daughter,” which was a hit amongst the literate redneck set even before Tommy Lee Jones and Sissy Spacek did the Loretta Lynn story so right in the movie.
Hmmm, a younger ER read all about The Beatles. Read a bio on Dolly Parton back in the day. Read two or three Garth Brooks books.
And I probably know more about Reba McEntire that some of her kin ‘cause I read oodles about her in researching an article for the Encyclopedia of Oklahoma History and Culture, to be published in ought-7, I b’lieve, in conjunction with Oklahoma’s centennial.
In more recent days, ol’ ER, who will always see Cybill Shepherd as the young, skinny-dippin’ hottie she played in “The Last Picture Show,” read “Cybill,” her tell-some tale.
Which brings me to my most recent venture into grazin’ the easy-to-munch grass of celebrity bio: Patricia Heaton’s “Motherhood and Hollywood: How to Get a Job Like Mine” (New York: Villard, 2002).
Not really a bio. More of a book of essays on life, from her days in white-bread suburban Cleveland, Ohio, through her days as a struggling actress-waitress in New York City, to her eventual success as the mama on “Everybody Loves Raymond” in Los Angeles. (Her dad was a beloved sportswriter for the Cleveland Plain Dealer, which might be why she plays the role of a sportswriter’s wife so well on the show.)
The gal, herself, can write. No co-author is listed. Looks like the liberal arts degree she eked out at Ohio State University is serving her well.
She is clever, witty and wise, with the wisdom that surely accrues to any mother of four boys under 10 – but especially to any mother of four boys under 10 who is a successful actress in Hollywood, with all that such a balancing act implies.
She is Catholic-turned-Presbyterian and her faith is evident, but not in-your-face, which was refreshing. Seems like famous people are either nonbelievers or on holy ego trips masquerading as missionary journeys.
Heaton, 46, is a Christian. The chapter on her faith journey blends so well with the rest of the book precisely because she does not bring undue attention to that part of her overall trip through.
Heaton is a hoot. There is a smile, and something to think about, on every page.
Example, picked randomly: In a part called “Some Things That Having Money Doesn’t Change,” she lists: “ … 35. Running out of toilet paper. 36. Parent-teacher conferences. 37. Having to send out Christmas cards. 38. Soccer snacks. 39. Monkey balls. (Just threw that in there to see who’s paying attention.) 40. Getting old.”
Another random example:
“Things finally came to a head when, trying to feed on, change another’s diaper, and pull one off from around my neck, I yelled to Dave (husband), as he slumped in the lounger, to find John’s blanky. Without missing a beat (or getting out of his chair), he reached down, picked up the blanky, and threw it at me. That was it. My inner banshee was released and I went ape. …
“As I collapsed on the couch, trying to compose myself, the mail arrived with a copy of People magazine in it, the theme being ‘Hollywood’s Most Romantic Couples.’ And guess who had a centerfold Technicolor photo of themselves and their kidlings lounging peacefully and perfectly in the English countryside? Thaaat’s right.”
Nice. “Motherhood & Hollywood” isn’t the typical “popcorn”-type celeb book. It’s a little more substantial. Mac-and-cheese maybe.
If more of them were written this well, ol’ ER might stray from the hardback nonfiction history-politics-public affairs wagon train a little more often. Of course, it helped that there is a fine picture of the babe-elicious hottie on the cover. The book is on a bargain table near you.
END
Once in a blue moon, ol’ ER strays from the hardback nonfiction history-politics-public affairs wagon train and stumbles headlong into the verdant meadows of touchy-feely soft-cover celebrity autobiography.
Lessee, I think it all started with Johnny Cash’s “Man in Black,” picked up at a Baptist church camp in the piney woods of Little Dixie, southeast Oklahoma. Ol’ Johnny’s witness for the Gospel and the frailties of human life just keeps rollin’ on.
Then, “Coal Miner’s Daughter,” which was a hit amongst the literate redneck set even before Tommy Lee Jones and Sissy Spacek did the Loretta Lynn story so right in the movie.
Hmmm, a younger ER read all about The Beatles. Read a bio on Dolly Parton back in the day. Read two or three Garth Brooks books.
And I probably know more about Reba McEntire that some of her kin ‘cause I read oodles about her in researching an article for the Encyclopedia of Oklahoma History and Culture, to be published in ought-7, I b’lieve, in conjunction with Oklahoma’s centennial.
In more recent days, ol’ ER, who will always see Cybill Shepherd as the young, skinny-dippin’ hottie she played in “The Last Picture Show,” read “Cybill,” her tell-some tale.
Which brings me to my most recent venture into grazin’ the easy-to-munch grass of celebrity bio: Patricia Heaton’s “Motherhood and Hollywood: How to Get a Job Like Mine” (New York: Villard, 2002).
Not really a bio. More of a book of essays on life, from her days in white-bread suburban Cleveland, Ohio, through her days as a struggling actress-waitress in New York City, to her eventual success as the mama on “Everybody Loves Raymond” in Los Angeles. (Her dad was a beloved sportswriter for the Cleveland Plain Dealer, which might be why she plays the role of a sportswriter’s wife so well on the show.)
The gal, herself, can write. No co-author is listed. Looks like the liberal arts degree she eked out at Ohio State University is serving her well.
She is clever, witty and wise, with the wisdom that surely accrues to any mother of four boys under 10 – but especially to any mother of four boys under 10 who is a successful actress in Hollywood, with all that such a balancing act implies.
She is Catholic-turned-Presbyterian and her faith is evident, but not in-your-face, which was refreshing. Seems like famous people are either nonbelievers or on holy ego trips masquerading as missionary journeys.
Heaton, 46, is a Christian. The chapter on her faith journey blends so well with the rest of the book precisely because she does not bring undue attention to that part of her overall trip through.
Heaton is a hoot. There is a smile, and something to think about, on every page.
Example, picked randomly: In a part called “Some Things That Having Money Doesn’t Change,” she lists: “ … 35. Running out of toilet paper. 36. Parent-teacher conferences. 37. Having to send out Christmas cards. 38. Soccer snacks. 39. Monkey balls. (Just threw that in there to see who’s paying attention.) 40. Getting old.”
Another random example:
“Things finally came to a head when, trying to feed on, change another’s diaper, and pull one off from around my neck, I yelled to Dave (husband), as he slumped in the lounger, to find John’s blanky. Without missing a beat (or getting out of his chair), he reached down, picked up the blanky, and threw it at me. That was it. My inner banshee was released and I went ape. …
“As I collapsed on the couch, trying to compose myself, the mail arrived with a copy of People magazine in it, the theme being ‘Hollywood’s Most Romantic Couples.’ And guess who had a centerfold Technicolor photo of themselves and their kidlings lounging peacefully and perfectly in the English countryside? Thaaat’s right.”
Nice. “Motherhood & Hollywood” isn’t the typical “popcorn”-type celeb book. It’s a little more substantial. Mac-and-cheese maybe.
If more of them were written this well, ol’ ER might stray from the hardback nonfiction history-politics-public affairs wagon train a little more often. Of course, it helped that there is a fine picture of the babe-elicious hottie on the cover. The book is on a bargain table near you.
END
