Rev. Erudite Redneck, B.S., B.S., M.A., M.Div.

By the Erudite Redneck

Ol’ ER had cause to be present for a regular meeting of the Oklahoma Senate Business and Labor Committee this morning, and he came away plumb inspired.

Not because of anything on the agenda, although there were a few things worth supporting, includin’ a bill that would help Oklahoma’s poor lil ol’ lonesome distillery survive.

It’s called Old Russia. It’s a micro-distillery about a year old in downtown Oklahoma City. Bricktown, actually (old warehouse district turned into cool places, visitors).

Old Russia is struggling. Not because of the Babtists in this state – and I count myself amongst ‘em, to their consternation – but because of vestigial restrictions and steep fees that go back to Oklahoma’s dry days. Here’s the Web site: http://www.old-russia.com/.

Anyhoo, they need a little relief, taxwise and otherwise, and there is a bill in the hopper to provide it. It passed the committee, which, to anyone who remembers the days when an absolute truism in this state was “We will vote against liquor by the drink as long as we can stumble to the polls,” is a dadgum miracle in itself.

And no, no, it wadn’t that ol’ ER was overcome with emotion at seeing Sen. Frank Shurden, D-Henryetta, a-sittin’ there at the table – although ER was plumb pleased to actually lay eyes, finally, on the only dang friend the honest, law-abidin’ cockfighter has left in this state, apparently.

And ER ain’t kidding. There is a sign in this very home office within seein’ distance that says: “American Tradition: Only in the Land of the Free Does the Gamecock Crow.”

One of the first things the Afghanis did the instant the Taliban was run off was hold a cockfight. That is a true fact.

Oklahoma Sen. John Monks, wherever you are, just go ahead and spin in yer grave, because the communists actually have took over, as you warned us they would back in ’63. (Y’all all hit the books, or the ‘Net. I ain’t making any of this shit up).

But I’d gress.

‘Cause it wadn’t, as I said, any perticular piece of legislation afore the committee this mornin’ that got my patriotic glands all blood engorged and tingly. It was the dang process itself.

See, there was people there makin’ their case for this or that, and there were people there to oppose ‘em.

There was people there to be against this or that, and others there to support them.

There were lines drawn all over the place, and each and every person in the dadgum room was standin’ on one side or the other, sayin’ to everybody on the other side, “Hey, why don’t ya’ll come stand over here? Here’s why,” and then proceeding to make their case.

Now, some of this goes on in somebody’s office. But some of it was going on right here, just outside the committee room, today. As well as in the committee room.

And it’ll happen some more here, and there, and on the floor, of the Senate, and of the House, and probably some out in the dang parkin’ lot, and probably at someone’s huntin’ lodge or restaurant or bar or church or mama’s house or rib joint or whatever THE hell.

But not one damned person did, or will, blow up another one. Not one damned person did, or will, take out a machete and cut off an opponent’s head. Not a soul did, or will, pray to his “god” for the destruction of the other one.

Even if a fistfight or caning had broken out, somebody would’ve called the law – young’uns in uniforms with guns on their hips – and every damn person present would have deferred to their authority and to order in general.

That’s civilization.

The world is not ending.

It’s just that every goddamn – and I use that opprobrium deliberately and with meaning – every GD talking head on TV, the ‘Net and it looks like everywhere else wants us to THINK it is, for their own selfish ends.

END