Friday, December 10, 2004
Cows
By The Erudite Redneck
Heard on the radio comin’ in to work that cows were out on one end of town and horses were out on the other. That’s why, in some ways, Oklahoma City is my kind of town.
It’s one of the biggest in the country, sizewise -- 600-some-odd square miles, straddling several counties. The city limits has big swaths of farm land (wheat mostly) and pasture (for those cows and horses.)
When I started my job in 1999, I could look out the eighth-floor window over my left shoulder and see -- cows. In town! I love it.
Oklahoma City is a “big city” only in the technical sense. The city proper, I think, has between 500,000 and 600,000 people. The surrounding metro area has just more than 1 million -- and that’s dang near half the people in Oklahoma, the other dang-near half bein’ around Tulsa, which is 90 miles to the northeast. (Those numbers might be off a little, but not much).
In ’99, curious, I called the county ag agent for Oklahoma County and asked how many cows lived around here.
He said Oklahoma City proper is home to something under 2,000 cows, and that Oklahoma County is home to around 21,000 -- and I am using the generic “cow” to include cows, heifers, bulls and heifers, babies, weanlings, yearlings, stockers, feeders — whatever, the whole lot, so to speak.
Bovine visitors and passers-through are another thing, though. Some 500,000 head pass through the Oklahoma National Stockyards, in the southwest part of Oklahoma City, every year. The stockyards, founded in 1910, bills itself as the “World’s Largest Market of Stocker and Feeder Cattle.”
That’s sayin’ something: “Moo,” if it’s cows talkin’.
Or, “Yum,” actually, when it’s people talkin’, when what you’re doing is sittin’ down at the Cattlemen’s Steakhouse (see link to the left), which is right next door to the stockyards, fixin’ to plow into a steak and tater!
Now, Oklahoma City is not the cowiest cowtown in the West, not by a long shot -- even with the “World’s Largest Market of Stocker and Feeder Cattle.” Amarillo, Texas, surrounded by scores of feedyards and packing plants that feed, finish and kill something like 6 million head of cattle a year, probably deserves that honor.
Several years ago, The Associated Press ran a photo of a steer being lifted out of a manhole in downtown Amarillo. I swear: There are so many cattle in the Texas Panhandle they get into the sewers!
But Oklahoma City is bovinish enough for me. I can’t hear cows mooing from my house, like I could growing up, but I don't have to go very far to see ‘em grazing wheat this time of year.
Cows, seeing ’em, hearing ’em, hell, even smelling ’em (“smells like money,” they say, when times are good; just smells like s--- when times are bad) — all that’s important to any erudite redneck.
END
Heard on the radio comin’ in to work that cows were out on one end of town and horses were out on the other. That’s why, in some ways, Oklahoma City is my kind of town.
It’s one of the biggest in the country, sizewise -- 600-some-odd square miles, straddling several counties. The city limits has big swaths of farm land (wheat mostly) and pasture (for those cows and horses.)
When I started my job in 1999, I could look out the eighth-floor window over my left shoulder and see -- cows. In town! I love it.
Oklahoma City is a “big city” only in the technical sense. The city proper, I think, has between 500,000 and 600,000 people. The surrounding metro area has just more than 1 million -- and that’s dang near half the people in Oklahoma, the other dang-near half bein’ around Tulsa, which is 90 miles to the northeast. (Those numbers might be off a little, but not much).
In ’99, curious, I called the county ag agent for Oklahoma County and asked how many cows lived around here.
He said Oklahoma City proper is home to something under 2,000 cows, and that Oklahoma County is home to around 21,000 -- and I am using the generic “cow” to include cows, heifers, bulls and heifers, babies, weanlings, yearlings, stockers, feeders — whatever, the whole lot, so to speak.
Bovine visitors and passers-through are another thing, though. Some 500,000 head pass through the Oklahoma National Stockyards, in the southwest part of Oklahoma City, every year. The stockyards, founded in 1910, bills itself as the “World’s Largest Market of Stocker and Feeder Cattle.”
That’s sayin’ something: “Moo,” if it’s cows talkin’.
Or, “Yum,” actually, when it’s people talkin’, when what you’re doing is sittin’ down at the Cattlemen’s Steakhouse (see link to the left), which is right next door to the stockyards, fixin’ to plow into a steak and tater!
Now, Oklahoma City is not the cowiest cowtown in the West, not by a long shot -- even with the “World’s Largest Market of Stocker and Feeder Cattle.” Amarillo, Texas, surrounded by scores of feedyards and packing plants that feed, finish and kill something like 6 million head of cattle a year, probably deserves that honor.
Several years ago, The Associated Press ran a photo of a steer being lifted out of a manhole in downtown Amarillo. I swear: There are so many cattle in the Texas Panhandle they get into the sewers!
But Oklahoma City is bovinish enough for me. I can’t hear cows mooing from my house, like I could growing up, but I don't have to go very far to see ‘em grazing wheat this time of year.
Cows, seeing ’em, hearing ’em, hell, even smelling ’em (“smells like money,” they say, when times are good; just smells like s--- when times are bad) — all that’s important to any erudite redneck.
END
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During my excursion yesterday I smelled that aroma and the thought that passed through my head was "Smells like money." Money sure stinks!
Oh, and here's a translation of that "Moo" quotation, from the cow's side: "OH THE BOVINITY!" They don't have the same appreciation for the Stockyards or Cattleman's that some of us humans do.
Oh, and here's a translation of that "Moo" quotation, from the cow's side: "OH THE BOVINITY!" They don't have the same appreciation for the Stockyards or Cattleman's that some of us humans do.
Both of those sentiments are moo-ving. As a person who follows the rodeo trail, I understand the importance of livestock for many reasons. Rodeo folks use livestock to compete; ranchers use livestock to raise; farmers use livestock to graze; all use livestock to live.
And being from western Kansas, where we have thousands of acres of feedlots, I can agree with Trixie in saying the spell of money ain't all its cracked up to be. The combination of poop and feed will clean out your sinuses and have you wishing you were all plugged up.
But having worked cattle and having been there when the first steps of a big Rocky Mountain Oyster party were being set forth, I can tell you my favorite is that of ER's -- on a plate with a side salad, baked potato and a beer.
So when folks come to me complaining about how rodeo animals are treated unfairly, I explain the wonderful athleticism these animals have. I know of a few roping calves that grew into fabulous bucking bulls. Besides, if these calves and steers weren't being hauled to rodeos, where else would they be?
On the menu at Cattlemen's.
And being from western Kansas, where we have thousands of acres of feedlots, I can agree with Trixie in saying the spell of money ain't all its cracked up to be. The combination of poop and feed will clean out your sinuses and have you wishing you were all plugged up.
But having worked cattle and having been there when the first steps of a big Rocky Mountain Oyster party were being set forth, I can tell you my favorite is that of ER's -- on a plate with a side salad, baked potato and a beer.
So when folks come to me complaining about how rodeo animals are treated unfairly, I explain the wonderful athleticism these animals have. I know of a few roping calves that grew into fabulous bucking bulls. Besides, if these calves and steers weren't being hauled to rodeos, where else would they be?
On the menu at Cattlemen's.
Excellent points, Teditor. I my own self have been present a time er two when a debulled calf's, um, delicacies were tossed directly into a brandin' fire. When they "pop," they're done. Which reminds me: Can somebody tell me why the heck the Cattlemen's here, and the Cattlemen's in Fort Worth have LAMB FRIES on the menu and not calf fries? I've never understood that.
PETA = People Eating Tasty Animals. ... Open the gates at the feedyards, let the critters out to fend for themselves and see what happens. Total Pande-bovine-alerium!
--ER
PETA = People Eating Tasty Animals. ... Open the gates at the feedyards, let the critters out to fend for themselves and see what happens. Total Pande-bovine-alerium!
--ER
ER,
my kids, 8 and 6 are just learning about
living in the country. We have several
neighbors that raise cows. When one put
up a cow and her twin calfs. We would
watch everday to see how much they had
grown.
My son then decided he wanted a pet cow.
I told him if we had a cow it would be
hamburger. He decided that would not
be so good.
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my kids, 8 and 6 are just learning about
living in the country. We have several
neighbors that raise cows. When one put
up a cow and her twin calfs. We would
watch everday to see how much they had
grown.
My son then decided he wanted a pet cow.
I told him if we had a cow it would be
hamburger. He decided that would not
be so good.
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